Feeling a bit low after husband lack of reaction to childs toilet training

[Stars1979]

So....wondering if I am having a complete overreaction. Currently potty training our child. I seem to be quite proactive with this, husband seems to be happy to take an even more relaxed approach than I am and I am fairly relaxed about it. Before i put her to bed last night, put her on the toilet. She was content. Asked her if she needed a poo and she said she did. She hasnt had a poo yet in the potty/toilet. Was patient of course and made up some crazy song which made her laugh and she had a poo in the toilet. Im delighted and so is she (how is this a high point in my life ha ha). Husband comes home later, I tell him all proud that 1) she had a poo in the toilet for the first time and 2) how i helped her to do this with my stupid song. I really got zero reaction. Feel disappointed he didnt share my excitement for it or see how i helped our daughter to achieve this. Feel stupid even writing this, perhaps i need more sleep, its still bugging me this morning sadly.

Tbh I'd find it hard to retrospectively get excited about poo. It's one of those "you just have to be there" things.

Yep you probably need more sleep I can understand the lack of excitement but doesn’t take away from you rightly being proud of your daughter though.

Probably just these two messages have helped me already! Good to get some perspective....ha ha. I was struggling to be nice to my husband this morning...ridiculous! Ha ha.

Without meaning to be unkind, what did you expect him to do/say? That would probably have been news I’d have mentioned in passing, but I wouldn’t really have expected a reaction.

I suppose if you are the ones doing most of the day to day and this is something you've been focusing on, when you succeed it's a big thing but to him it's just a bit of info. He isn't aware of the process that's led up to it or how much difference it might make as she gets it sorted.

Thanks for this. So good to get perspective! I suspected I was being a bit crazy about it

I actually said to my husband once that although these things might not mean much to him they are successes for our DD and me so I’d appreciate it if he acknowledged that. I said it a bit more nicely than that and it helped as I get why it doesn’t seem much to him but for my DD it is.

Bless you op

Oh yes maybe i will just say something nicely. Thats a good idea.

And it goes without saying obviously...ltb!

Sorry but I feign interest about DH's database triumphs etc all the time, I think he can feign interest about my day too! If he could see you were feeling good about it he could have at least pretended to be interested.

@formerbabe ha ha i know!

@ThePlantsitter i know exactly....although i thought as its his daughter as well he might even explain "thats great" even if he looked disinterested. Lol

exclaim not explain

I work full time and so does he so we share the care (mostly). He works until later evening than me and so has our child most of the morning....just thought he might share the excitement of this step but god I see I am really losing the plot ha ha

I know what you mean OP, whenever our DC have achieved a milestone my husband gets excited with me and we usually high five but maybe we're the lame ones

Sorry but he was lame not to acknowledge this. It's hard work getting a little one to poo in the potty and takes considerable effort. I would have expected more enthusiasm. Definitely wouldn't be just a passing comment, it's a big achievement. Wouldn't expect him to hire a brass band but some sort of enthusiasm would have been good.

Yanbu. My dh was rather underwhelmed when I told him similar. When he actually saw it for himself and how proud dd was he was more enthusiastic. Even more so when he realised we dont have to be carrying nappies etc round everywhere.
It is one of the last bits of baby-ness to let go of, so he might feel a tiny bit sad about that.

Totally understand I would be fuming !! We have a poo poo on the potty song here that we all sing and dance too 🙈 major milestone in our little babies lives if you ask me 🙈 we even cracked a bottle of wine open to celebrate the first time a poo was had she was so resistant to try 😂 you and your little girl go and do something nice today to celebrate together don’t let him take the sparkle away .