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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To question the protest over the Sainsburys mug

118 replies

LadyLightning · 20/08/2020 23:50

I work in mental health, have counselled many victims of domestic abuse and worked for agencies providing emergency support to people in danger.

I see the Matilda themed mug at Sainsburys has been withdrawn because it can be apparently be read as 'a brilliant idea. hit her'. Which would obviously be reprehensible.

Did anyone read it that way? I thought it was pretty clear it was meant as as 'a brilliant idea hit her'. Of course we have to take violence in relationships very seriously, but does this seem a bit overblown to anyone else?
YABU - the mug should have been withdrawn
YANBU - the protest is over blown

OP posts:
BalanceGreen · 21/08/2020 04:11

Despite the caps, I read the emphasis on the bigger, bolder 'brilliant idea' line. There's no full stop and I could never have read it in the way those criticising have.

NiceGerbil · 21/08/2020 04:22

I read it as

A brilliant idea

Hit her

No of course it won't act as an instruction to non violent men

But in a societal context where porn is increasingly violent, and the 'rough sex' defence is common and resulting in some really dodgy outcomes

It seems crass..

If violence against women wasn't a thing, ok maybe.

But it is, and loads of women report be being hit in sexual encounters with no prior consent

So on the whole it's a no from me

How did it get through the multiple layers of product development in the first place? Weird.

heartsonacake · 21/08/2020 04:26

This is just another example of the professionally offended.

People love to get up in arms about anything and everything these days that when it happens you just have to roll your eyes and dismiss them.

NiceGerbil · 21/08/2020 04:34

Well it's been pulled so the supermarket didn't take that view.

heartsonacake · 21/08/2020 04:41

@NiceGerbil

Well it's been pulled so the supermarket didn't take that view.
Incorrect. The supermarket pulled it because the backlash forced them to, not because they’ve “realised it’s wrong”.

The professionally offended have no business forcing their opinions in such a manner that businesses and people feel they have to change their behaviour because of them. They need to get the fuck over it.

Feelingconfused2020 · 21/08/2020 05:54

If people who are trained experts in the area see issue with it then I would trust them. There are quotes galore in Matilda.

Kantastic · 21/08/2020 06:27

I saw a picture of the mug before knowing what the context was supposed to be and I read it as "a brilliant idea. Hit her."

After understanding the context, I can understand how it happened.. It's probably very individual and random which interpretation your brain arrives at first but given lots of people read it the way I did, withdrawing it was clearly the right decision.

BlackSwan · 21/08/2020 06:29

So effectively, the righteous language police want to ban the use of the words 'hit' and 'her' in the same sentence. Ridiculous.
Perhaps they can tipex hit her out and make it "She had a brilliant idea".
Not the same impact really.

Shesapunkpunk · 21/08/2020 06:36

Are there so few designs for mugs that we need to go with something that could be construed in a certain way? We can always play these things safe. OR, we can create controversy to draw attention to our brand. (I don’t actually think this happened this time...it’s a fucking mug, but it happens all the time and I am getting so pissed off with people not seeing this fucking bullshit)

EleanorOalike · 21/08/2020 06:38

Perfect example of everything that is wrong with the world at the moment.

A mug themed around a children’s book is not going to make domestic abusers abuse, or perfectly normal people who see the mug become domestic abusers. Don’t these people have anything better to do with their time than look for molehills to make mountains out of? Really really pathetic. This will not help victims of domestic abuse in any way.

BlackSwan · 21/08/2020 06:45

It's actually insane to accuse Sainsbury's of trying to create controversy here.

Do you really think there was a meeting & execs sat round a table saying 'we need to draw attention to our brand, let's push the boundaries by sticking a Roald Dahl quote on a mug - it's inoffensive, but if you squint & cover the word 'A' with your finger & imagine some punctuation - you could potentially imagine we're inciting domestic violence'.
Totally fucking looney.

Shesapunkpunk · 21/08/2020 07:22

@BlackSwan

It's actually insane to accuse Sainsbury's of trying to create controversy here.

Do you really think there was a meeting & execs sat round a table saying 'we need to draw attention to our brand, let's push the boundaries by sticking a Roald Dahl quote on a mug - it's inoffensive, but if you squint & cover the word 'A' with your finger & imagine some punctuation - you could potentially imagine we're inciting domestic violence'.
Totally fucking looney.

It’s actually insane to state I was suggesting this, when what I actually said was that this did not happen here. But you are fucking insane to think that marketing decisions are accidental. As I said before this is a badly designed mug, but these things do happen all the time.
BlackSwan · 21/08/2020 07:32

We're talking about this specific example. Nothing happened here. There's nothing to see. What happens 'all the time' is that coddled snowflakes take offence at absolutely nothing.

drmothy · 21/08/2020 07:38

@BlackSwan

We're talking about this specific example. Nothing happened here. There's nothing to see. What happens 'all the time' is that coddled snowflakes take offence at absolutely nothing.
Like you taking offence to Shesapunkpunk’s post?
BlackSwan · 21/08/2020 07:40

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Pelleas · 21/08/2020 07:41

YANBU

'Brilliant Idea' is in a different font for emphasis. You have to try really, really hard to read it as a sentence endorsing violence. Some people will come out with any nonsense to get attention/social media 'likes' etc.

Shesapunkpunk · 21/08/2020 07:42

@BlackSwan

No offence taken - I'm just bored of morons.
You come across so well. So articulate and considerate.
AbsintheFriends · 21/08/2020 07:43

I work in mental health, have counselled many victims of domestic abuse and worked for agencies providing emergency support to people in danger.

OP, in your place of work would you make a coffee for a woman you were counselling in this mug? Would you use it yourself whilst counselling a victim of domestic violence?

Margotshypotheticaldog · 21/08/2020 07:46

I agree with pp, there are far better quotes from Matilda. So it was a poor choice from that perspective, and an odd choice too.
The font change and the break in the sentence certainly does change how the sentence is read. While I agree that a bad mug is unlikely to incite violence, it perhaps could be seen to be making light of dv, sort of a wink wink joke? In the spirit of Eats shoots and leaves?

Pumperthepumper · 21/08/2020 07:50

It’s always strange how many people are suddenly anti-pc when it comes to shit like this. It’s a horrible mug anyway, I’ve read Matilda loads of times and would never have recognised this quote, the word choice is ambiguous - is the world really a poorer place without it?

Someone’s going to talk about censorship soon, I can feel it.

cdtaylornats · 21/08/2020 07:55

Rather than a donation to domestic violence charites the mug should go back on sale with a donation to a charity that helps people read. Especially one the teaches the use of punctuation.

BallOfString · 21/08/2020 07:56

This makes me feel uncomfortable. Not about dv by adults, which I don’t have experience of, thankfully. It’s more the casual meanness between siblings thst often tips into mild violence. If anyone had given this mug to my daughter I could imagine my ds endlessly acting on it as a joke, and not hurting her, but it’s not funny either, and I can imagine the arguments ‘don’t do that’ ‘the mug says I can’ etc. Who needs stuff like that in the house. It’s annoying at best, and it sort of normalises meanness/violence (even if it’s just comic-style) and makes it harder to teach respect for girls/women and their bodies. I like the Dahl book, but I think a better quote could be used.

butterpuffed · 21/08/2020 08:00

I've heard of the Matilda books but I'm not familiar with them so when I saw this mug I had no idea it was connected to a character.

The phrases are separated so it really did read as hitting someone. I knew it couldn't be that as it's Sainsbury's ffs but it really confused me.

And NO I'm NOT a moron to the pp who thinks I and others must be Hmm

Camomila · 21/08/2020 08:02

I read it as 'A brillliant Idea hit her', only the brilliant idea is in italics, the 'A' and the hit her are in the same font.

I like the quote.

Tardigrade001 · 21/08/2020 08:03

I wouldn't personally think DV when I see the mug, but I can understand why other people have. Whoever designed it knew what they were doing, and thought they were being subtle and clever.

Awful shape and overpriced anyway.