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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Coughing child at gymnastics

111 replies

academicallyblonde · 20/08/2020 19:20

Just picked me DD up from gymnastics. Another child was escorted out by the coach as she said she needed to talk to her mother. The mother straightaway says, “Is is about her cough?”

My DD tells me that the child was coughing the whole time. They apparently tried to call the mother to pick her up but no answer. Sounds like they managed to keep the girl as far away as possible from the others. It sounds as though she spent the whole hour sat on the side watching, which can’t have been very nice for the poor thing.
AIBU to think this mother was totally out of order for knowingly sending a coughing child to a gym class at this time? Not to mention then being uncontactable? (Only saving grace is the child can’t have had a temperature as they checked them all on the way in).

OP posts:
OverTheRainbow88 · 20/08/2020 20:32

The fact that she dumped the kid and was then uncontactable suggests she knew the child shouldn't be there.

Or she was so sure it was ok she didn’t even think to have her mobile on her

DeclutterTheUtility · 20/08/2020 20:33

Poor kid indeed.

catsarecute · 20/08/2020 20:35

YANBU. It might not be covid, but a coughing child shouldn't be sent to a gymnastics class at the moment. And the mother should have made sure she was contactable whilst her child was in the care of someone else.

Sunflowerlover20 · 20/08/2020 20:38

The mother was in the wrong for not talking to a coach beforehand and explaining the cough! The poor child had to sit out which isn’t fair on them. The cough could well be for any reason such as asthma etc my child coughs with his asthma but even so the mother should have spoke to them beforehand! Also if they tried to contact her and she didn’t answer that is poor show as the child could have been injured for all she knows.
I would be giving the parent a warning just for that!

OverTheRainbow88 · 20/08/2020 20:39

It might not be covid, but a coughing child shouldn't be sent to a gymnastics class at the moment.

This is unfair, the whole point of testing is to get back to normal once it’s negative. Kids have missed enough of their fun activities and shouldn’t miss out on more once a negative swab is taken. The mum should have acknowledged the cough and explained what it was, as I did with nursery.

I’m a teacher... I genuinely cough from mid nov- Christmas holiday every year I will happily get a weekly swab if it means I can carry on working

NotFrozen · 20/08/2020 20:39

If the child had asthma, then the staff should already have been aware of her condition for safety and medication reasons.

If the child had been tested, proved negative, but still had a cough, then the staff should have been made aware of this at the beginning of the class.

If the mother knew the child had a continuous cough, then regardless of whether it was COViD or not, she probably should not have been dropped at gymnastics that day and given some more time to get better.

There are a lot of excuses scraping the barrel here for a bad decision to send the child to gymnastics. It was unfair and unkind to the poor child, unfair to the staff and disrespectful to the other children and parents involved. Goodness why is that so difficult to acknowledge...

yawnsvillex · 20/08/2020 20:46

God here we go ... the cough police are now out in force Hmm

lyralalala · 20/08/2020 20:49

There is no excuse for dropping a coughing child at a childcare or activity place without speaking to the staff to let them know that it's asthma/hayfever/scratched throat on a crisp/whatever.

That's nothing to do with Covid. That should have been the case before Covid.

It's an appalling lack of manners and it's a symptom of how poorly a lot of parents treat the people who run activities and childcare.

WhereYouLeftIt · 20/08/2020 20:50

"Just dropping off a coughing child at club with no explanation during a pandemic where a cough is a key symptom, is both antisocial and irresponsible"

This. And I say that as someone whose asthma expresses as a persistent cough.

"The mother straightaway says, “Is is about her cough?” "
That suggests to me that there was no conversation with the staff when she dropped her child off. And if she attends regularly, surely they would be aware if she had asthma or indeed any underlying condition? And being uncontactable - I hope they were very firm with her about that!

Rhianna1980 · 20/08/2020 20:51

@OverTheRainbow88 she needs to have the tested repeated as symptoms have dragged on.

A close relative of mine who works in a hospital told me about lots of instances where patients had to be tested multiple times to get correct result, in one instance they had to repeat test 4 times to get a positive result. And home kits are that reliable as patients can’t swab properly, especially with testing younger kids.

And so it begins.
This winter is going to be an effing one big long nightmare, ranging between nonchalant parents who can’t be bothered to get their child tested : like the child in the OPs incident or get them checked, mixed with false negatives, mixed in with shortages of test kits because they won’t be able to keep up with the demand as cases rise, mixed in with families who don’t want to isolate because they will lose on work pay thus risking the rest of their office colleagues, mixed in with the selfish attitude “well I’m young and I don’t give a flying f* about this virus”, mixed in with all business open as normal and open everything up.

That parent in particular should have told the gym if child has allergies.
Point is, whether it’s covid or not, keep your child at home if they are ill, as no one wants your bugs, plus, the gymnast needs to be fit enough to be able to perform. Having a persistent cough while exercising and is not good for the child and their body.
What a selfish and an irresponsible parent!

.

LooseleafTea · 20/08/2020 20:51

I had a similar question I haven’t asked but wondering if AIBU that a checkout person at Asda had a really bad cough and no face mask . I nearly went to customer service to comment I felt less safe but equally knew she might well know her cough has been there for months or nothing to do with the pandemic And I didn’t want to criticise her, I just wish she’d said something to reassure us as I would have!

Thefaceofboe · 20/08/2020 20:55

How do you know she doesn’t suffer from asthma and can’t shake off a cough? (Same as me and it’s painful having to explain to people my lungs are shit) She might of been tested? Many possibilities

Sirzy · 20/08/2020 20:56

@LooseleafTea

I had a similar question I haven’t asked but wondering if AIBU that a checkout person at Asda had a really bad cough and no face mask . I nearly went to customer service to comment I felt less safe but equally knew she might well know her cough has been there for months or nothing to do with the pandemic And I didn’t want to criticise her, I just wish she’d said something to reassure us as I would have!
Did they not have the plastic divides up between checkout operator and you? Every supermarket here has
Lovemusic33 · 20/08/2020 20:57

I have said YANBU because the parent should have explained the cough before leaving her child, it might be she has already been tested and got the all clear or that she got something stuck in her throat earlier in the day, however the parent should have told them before leaving.

I fear the winter months are going to be awful for most parents, we are being told “if anyone gets cold symptoms they are to isolate until they have a negative test”, this is going to be chaos as kids get coughs and colds on and off all winter as do some adults. Am I going to have to constantly be taking time off work to get various children and myself tested as soon as one of us has a runny nose? I’m really not looking forward to the winter.

MsTSwift · 20/08/2020 20:59

Shocking and disrespectful. If there’s a non Covid reason and a negative test that should have been explained to staff and other families and contact details left.

Appalling parenting

lyralalala · 20/08/2020 20:59

@Thefaceofboe

How do you know she doesn’t suffer from asthma and can’t shake off a cough? (Same as me and it’s painful having to explain to people my lungs are shit) She might of been tested? Many possibilities
And the excuse for the parent not bothering to explain that to the staff is what?
Thefaceofboe · 20/08/2020 21:31

@lyralalala I understand that but this post is from someone who over heard a snippet of the conversation. Let the staff deal with it and move on.

DamitJanet · 20/08/2020 21:38

YANBU, even if she’s tested negative for Covid it’s really unfair to spread ‘just a cough’ at the moment. Others pick it up, Then they have to isolate/get tested with all the impact that leads to.
If it’s a preexisting thing then surely the parent would’ve taken the time to make sure the teacher was aware, or at least be contactable.

LooseleafTea · 20/08/2020 21:40

sirzy I should have said as good question, they did but I was st the end packing so it felt didn’t help as wasn’t between us. And by coughing fit I mean mega , I felt for her but also felt for us as I’m a bit nervous with a family member shielding

madroid · 20/08/2020 21:41

Covid tests are only 75% accurate. Even if it comes back negative she could still have covid.

Teateaandmoretea · 20/08/2020 21:42

So did they try and call the father too?

I’m not sure what the point of your post is tbh op. If a kid has a cough they need to be tested for covid unfortunately in this vile ‘new normal’. But you don’t even know if she has been it’s all just gossip. Probably she doesn’t have covid rock on till you hear otherwise.

Teateaandmoretea · 20/08/2020 21:44

Covid tests are only 75% accurate. Even if it comes back negative she could still have covid.

Oh ffs, she could also covid if she doesn’t have any symptoms ‘apparently’. If a child has been tested they’ve been tested.

BigChocFrenzy · 20/08/2020 21:59

YANBU

"The mother straightaway says, “Is is about her cough?” "

So no previous explanation to the coach and then being uncontactable

Very inconsiderate to the child, the coach and others there, even without a pandemic

feistyoneyouare · 20/08/2020 22:02

@SebandAlice

You do know people with asthma and allergies can cough continuously?
This. I'm one of them.

That said, the poor girl shouldn't have been doing gym with a continuous cough regardless of the cause.

Dogsgowoofwoof · 20/08/2020 22:02

Yabu
Coughs can be for many reasons.
My colleague is having treatment for lung cancer, it causes her to cough.

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