To complain about partner spending money on digital game

[emmapemma91]

Hi I live with my partner, we’re due to get married next year and have 5 kids. He works and I stay at home at the minute due to my sons SN and the cost of childcare.

He’s been spending up to £120 on average per month on a online game on his phone. It’s the odd £10, £5, it’s all adding up. When I pull him he says it’s a hobby and i can’t say anything as I spend a fortune when I take kids out (I do, but there is 5 of them). I get what he’s saying, And I don’t want to stop him from his hobby, but I don’t actually spend the money on myself, and we could really do with the money.

It’s reasonable for your DH to have a set amount of money to spend on hobbies/ treats etc and if that includes an online game that’s fine. But the amount should be agreed between you based on what you can afford and you should have access to the same amount of money to spend on your own hobbies/ treats etc. That might be money for you to spend on non-essential things like coffee out, a new book, jewellery, make-up, getting your hair/ nails done etc - whatever you’re interested in. Days out with the kids however shouldn’t come out of your treat/ hobby money, they should be family spends (even if sometimes it’s only one parent going on the day out).

It sounds like you need to sit down and work out a household budget and how much you will allocate to spend on household groceries/ toiletries, how much for the kids essentials, how much for treats for the kids, how much for personal essentials for you and your husband (Eg: necessary clothes/ shoes etc) and then look at how much you have left to divide between the two of you for your own treats and hobbies.