Money for child having an op. Shouldn't they say what it's for?

[Supsista]

Kid on my local page bashed his head and now has an aneurysm and needs an op to bypass it.

His dad set up a PayPal account for people to put money in to 'aid his recovery'.

Usually with these things people stipulate what the money is going towards, equipment if it's a disabled child for example.

This doesn't so it just looks like his cashing in on his kids bad luck.

AIBU?

Yes that does seem very vague. I imagine the parents will need to take time off work while he's recovering so they could be worried about the financial consequences of that. He probably thinks saying it's for a child's recovery is more likely to get the donations coming in I guess.

I’ve noticed this is becoming more and more common. Particularly where someone dies in sad circumstances, there’s usually a crowdfunding type thing set up pretty quickly and usually for ‘funeral costs’. Often set up by a family member or friend. But I often wonder if they NEED the money.

I’m not always sure why, or what the funding is for.

It’s becoming a bit of a bandwagon to be jumped on.

Of course it’s sad that this child needs an operation... but you’re right to think “what is the money for”?

A boy from our local school is raising money for a new appendage....
No sign of op but his got a new Mercedes for her recent birthday..
Won't be donating for anything again..

I really don’t know why so many people get sucked in and donate . There was one in our local paper recently where the parents in their 50s had both died ( might have been covid related) and the adult daughters were crowdfunding to ‘save the family home’ . Which basically meant one of them wanted to move into it with her family but she needed money to buy out her sister otherwise they would have to sell the house to give both their share of the inheritance . Neither of them actually still lived with the parents , it’s unbelievable really .

I think if they have specific needs, equipment or extra therapy that would ease the burden, then I've no problem with it.
Someone my DC1 knew needed an operation in Thailand whilst on a gap year and had a fund. I asked him if the boy had taken out travel insurance. It turns out he hadn't. We still donated as dC1 wanted to help him. It may sound mean to point it out but it did help DC see that insurance for things like this is part of the cost of the trip and how much it costs if you don't have it. I've known 3 people over the years with accidents abroad who have needed help to get home again and I cant understand why people decide to just wing it.

It does seem a bit grabby when this happens, but theres a simple solution. Just don't give any money, then you don't have to worry about it.

Yikes. A colleague of mine is originally from a developing country and does some fundraising towards health care for children in his home community. We always get full details of each case he's helping with at any particular time, including breakdown of costs, and then often a further update once the treatment has taken place. Nobody begrudges donating on that basis, but you're right that this one is extremely vague and suspicious!!

My friend's niece did a GoFundMe to raise cash to see her dying relative (she lives abroad in another EU country) and raised about £1000.

At the relative's funeral, she was nowhere to be seen.

It beggars belief that people can be so cheeky and grabby and even more so that people get suckered into this shit and donate their hard earned cash to scammers.

A local one to us set up as their dd had cancer (very sad) wanted the money so both parents could take year off work. Sorry but a lot of families have dc with cancer and have to keep working. Best bit was when ever I saw her or dc she had nails done etc and all dressed in designer clothes. So they just wanted to keep up their lifestyle when at a time most have to make sacrifices

My DH got sick, and we didn't know for a while if he would make it. But we both have excellent jobs and and a good income.

One of his colleagues set up a fundraiser (that we had no idea of) and then came to our house on Christmas Eve and gave us a thousand pounds in cash that he had raised. Told us, he and the rest of the company had raised it so that we could make memories.

I felt so awkward. They were so well meaning. We told them to pass it onto a charity that needed it, but they wouldn't have it. Kept on insisting that DH takes it and uses it to spend time with his family.

In the end we accepted it. Graciously. Then donated it to a local charity that supports sufferers of the same illness, but they wanted to know how we spent it. We were planning a trip anyway, so said it went on that.

I almost felt guilty when DH pulled through. Like we had conned those who donated.

Sometimes people do this, because it makes them feel better.

@Kapowsers oh that's so awkward.
For what it's worth, I think you dealt with it in the best way you could. And you're right, people just feel helpless and the last resort is to throw money at the problem.

@Kapowsers

My DH got sick, and we didn't know for a while if he would make it. But we both have excellent jobs and and a good income.

One of his colleagues set up a fundraiser (that we had no idea of) and then came to our house on Christmas Eve and gave us a thousand pounds in cash that he had raised. Told us, he and the rest of the company had raised it so that we could make memories.

I felt so awkward. They were so well meaning. We told them to pass it onto a charity that needed it, but they wouldn't have it. Kept on insisting that DH takes it and uses it to spend time with his family.

In the end we accepted it. Graciously. Then donated it to a local charity that supports sufferers of the same illness, but they wanted to know how we spent it. We were planning a trip anyway, so said it went on that.

I almost felt guilty when DH pulled through. Like we had conned those who donated.

Sometimes people do this, because it makes them feel better.

That is ok by me and not at all cheeky

Most People would donate for a card and flowers several times when someone us very ill. We had so many flowers at one point and DH was too ill to even notice them. Collecting cash makes more sense/if lots of people put £5 in each it soon adds up

When my DH was il our hospital car parking was £9.90 a day, it was only free when having chemo/radio not when having surgery and the endless appointments and scans. Bring ill is expensive