To ask if you encouraged reading/writing before school

[palmsandwine]

Hi all just looking for some perspective.

I moved to Australia 2 years ago. I lost my job due to covid and have taken up a nanny position covering maternity leave. I haven't worked in childcare for almost 7 years so I'm wondering if I'm a little out of touch or if the Aussie education system is just very different.

I'm nanny for a 3 year old girl and a 5.5 year old boy. He'll be 6 at the end of January which is around the same time as he will be starting prep (reception). At the moment he goes to kinder 3 days a week. They don't learn any reading/ writing etc.

I was surprised to find that my host parents aren't encouraging any reading or writing with him yet. He isn't able to write his 4 letter name and can't recite the alphabet. Now I'm not in any way judging I understand perhaps his parents just want to wait until school starts before pushing all of this onto him. Perhaps let him hold onto his little years as much as possible before "academics" start.
The only thing I've noticed though is that some of his friends seem to already be reading pretty well. In the 2 months I've been with the family I've supervised 4 play dates. Each with a different friend. And each friend showed signs of reading. Whether it be something off the tv, in a book, one kid heard my phone beep and called out "Jack texted you!"
B5.5 has mentioned this to me a couple of times "why can friend read" "did you know that friend can write his whole name" etc.

My host mum almost seems anti the idea of it as when I suggested doing some phonogram apps with him she very quickly shut down the idea. She also was quite judgemental when a family friend dropped over some brownies and a note written by their 4 year old. Just a few words something like "enjoy the brownies! Love ** -- xx" my host dad commented on how good her writing was and host mum said something like "hmm.. not sure why they got her to write it though." It just seemed very "off" like she was judging her friends for teaching their child to write.

But it all just has me curious now because I'm sure my mum was doing dot-to-dots for my name from around 3 on cards. I'm sure I remember by the time we started primary age 4/5 everyone was writing their name at least. Or is that wrong?

As I say I completely understand parents not wanting to push too much onto their child too young but by 5.5 I do think a little more should be encouraged but I'm anxious to do anything with him for fear of his mum not approving. She's happy for him to just wait until he's 6 at school. They spend crazy amounts of money for his kinder, and yet they're not even learning the alphabet. I can't help but feel a bit frustrated by it all, on B5s behalf. Starting school and being a step behind is definitely not going to be fun or easy for him especially as he's very aware that he's the oldest in his class. Am I awful for thinking that by 6, a child should have been taught the alphabet at least?

@SaintofBats

Nope. I think school (in the UK, which is not where I'm originally from, but where DS started school) starts too early anyway. I read to him a huge amount because he loved it, and it's likely he picked things up by osmosis, but didn't do any teaching.

By the time he started school, were many of his classmates already reading and writing? I think I find the situation in the UK a bit different because by age 4, no child will be an absolute whizz at reading and writing. Some may be a little further ahead, but not by miles. It's not like 2 year olds will already be reading. But when children aren't starting until 5/6, they've had a lot longer to be learning from home. I imagine some of b5's friends would've started say around 4 with parents. So by the time they start school and 5.5/6, they're leaps and bounds ahead. I can see it already in his friends and he's questioning why they know more than him, and he still has 5 months until he starts school ! So they'll only be improving over these months whereas he'll be starting age 6 unable to write his name. It's different when all the children are on the same page but that isn't the case here. I just can't help but feel for him a little since he's such an anxious kid. His little sister already outshines him in many ways and I can see this happening through his friends at school too.