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AIBU?

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Original poster

To have wanted more from FWB set up

21 replies

Smillar2020 · 19/08/2020 21:58

So I met this guy over a decade ago and we slept together (I’ve never had a one night stand apart from him), I was working abroad for a couple of months after but we kept in touch and I really fell for him. When I got home we continued to sleep together probably once every few weeks for well over a year. Then he met someone else and that was the end of things with me. I was really heartbroken as I always hoped he’d want more from me. I am successful, very attractive (so I’m told), very slim and like to think I am good company. Recently he got back in touch and said he wishes we’d dated but I gave off the not interested vibes at the time. He’s married now so of course I’m not going there. Just confused as to why he would say that when I was gutted he never asked me for more than sex. Anyone advice?

OP posts:
Pollypocket89 · 19/08/2020 22:00

He didn't actually want that as otherwise you would have been a couple. He's married now as you say so not really sure what there is to advise on?

Pollypocket89 · 19/08/2020 22:01

I didn't mean that in a harsh way, if it reads that way

Frownette · 19/08/2020 22:06

He's muddled you as he got back in touch.

I'd ignore him and look forward to meeting someone else.

Chantelli · 19/08/2020 22:07

He's hoping you might shag him again. He's fishing. And you are worth loads more.

Aquamarine1029 · 19/08/2020 22:07

I don't understand what advice you could possibly be looking for. A real relationship didn't happen, and now he's married. Done and done.

I am suspicious as to why he has gotten in touch with you. He's married and therefore totally inappropriate. I think he might be angling for yet another easy hook-up, telling you what you want to hear about what could have been. Please be smart enough not to fall into this trap.

wowfudge · 19/08/2020 22:09

I'd be questioning his motives for contacting you now, but onwards and upwards.

OrigamiOwl · 19/08/2020 22:09

It's easy for him to say this and lay the blame at your door.

Tooshytoshine · 19/08/2020 22:09

If he is confident enough to say it now then he was confident enough to say it then.

He sounds like he is sounding you out, which is a bit dickish as he is married.

Friendly but blank response about missed opportunities then move on. As you said, you are a catch - him I'm not so sure about...

GinDrinker00 · 19/08/2020 22:11

Probably trying to get one last shag. Forget him.

Notimeforaname · 19/08/2020 22:12

Sounds like he's possibly bored with his marriage. Is looking for more fwb stuff. He's sussing you out.

LockdownLump · 19/08/2020 22:17

He's married. Contacting you and saying he wished you had dated.

Sounds like an absolute sleazebag.

Feel sorry for his wife and a lucky escape for you.

He fancies you. Probably because of all the amazing qualities you listed about yourself. But he sees you a shag material and wants to see if he can shag you behind his wife's back.

Don't go there.

I'd block if I was you.

nocoolnamesleft · 19/08/2020 22:19

He wants you to be his bit on the side. Sleazy.

Original poster
Smillar2020 · 19/08/2020 22:38

Yeah think you are all right, he wants me for sex no doubt and never had any interest in dating me all those years ago. Just wish I didn’t still hold a torch for him, god knows why when he’s clearly at it.

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 19/08/2020 22:46

Block him. Immediately.

FizzyGreenWater · 19/08/2020 22:52

Sleaze - copy and paste messages, send to his wife, then block.

AriettyHomily · 19/08/2020 22:53

Because you were an fab and he wants an fab outside of marriage. Grow a pair and block him.

DimidDavilby · 19/08/2020 22:54

Forward to his wife. Wanker.

Vix20678 · 19/08/2020 22:56

100% fishing to see if you'll be his bit on the side. Yuck. Block and be happy you've dodged a bullet and you're not the wife he's wanting to cheat on

TableFlowerss · 19/08/2020 22:56

When I was younger, I wish I’d listened to the advice I’d been given by older and wiser women that had been there and worn the t-shirt.

But no. I fell ‘in love’ with the idea of what I imagined it could be. I was infatuated by a particular guy and I was just his hook up buddy (he had a girlfriend at the time that I was unaware of until many years later)

I couldn’t understand like you why he didn’t want more.

20 years on I cringe at my myself and the time I wasted dreaming of him.

He was a selfish twat. He wanted his cake and to eat it. Dirty dog. If he wanted me he would have chosen me. He didn’t like me enough. He didn’t like anyone enough. I’ve since found out he has 2 kids is married and is still looking for hook ups.

It was exciting it was different for him. That’s why he continued to use me.

If only I had more send worth back then and realised how much more I was worth than to be some womanisers fuck buddy.

Delete him OP. He’s had his fun with you. I’ve also learned that if they want you, they will make you aware. They don’t tend to play games. A means a and b means b.

Actions speak louder than words OP. Do t waste your time because it will be time taken away from you meeting your true love

MsMonkey · 19/08/2020 23:14

Be glad you didn't end up in a relationship with him, he doesn't sound very nice. Just another entitled bloke happy to string women along and then fishing around for an ego boost when it suits him.

OneTC · 20/08/2020 00:03

fwb relationships only for the strong imo, it's not for every one, especially a long term person, there's not many who can go a decade of sleeping with someone and not develop feelings

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