can't stop binging

[cantstopbinging]

i know i'm not being unreasonable but posting here for traffic. am about 8lbs overweight, always have been overweight/top end of normal. i've been eating 1300 calories for the last week or so and i've been doing well on it, no binging or snacking, just sticking to my meals. today, as soon as i woke up i could feel it was going to be different. well... i was right i ate 3 tubes of smarties, 2 big glasses of milk and 2 packets of crisps. i know it's not tons but i also snacked today (hot chocolate with marshmallows and a packet of crisps), on top of my breakfast (strawberry smoothie and banana chips) and lunch (black bean noodles). not sure what i'm hoping for, i guess i needed to vent and also to ask if anyone has been able to stop binging? i've had an ed on and off for the last 4 years and binged from very early childhood until i was about 11 years old when my first bout of ed started (not within the 4 years.. i'm not 15!).

Sometimes yo

Just need some sugar tbh

To combat binging I sometimes have a mug of tea or some fizzy (not ideal) and it will keep me from snacking for a few hours

I certainly have days like this sometimes, and worse. I don't know the answers

My therapist said to me once the binging cycle always starts with restriction. I'm sorry, it's rubbish because you end up feeling so trapped

Bingeing is started by restriction. 1300 calories isn’t enough for you, you’re hungry so your body fights for food.. it goes into panic mode because it doesn’t trust it will get what it needs so you eat a lot in one go.

@mynameiscalypso yes, i think this binge cycle was caused by previous restriction, but i also have fat parents (both morbidly obese), and binged from as long as i can remember (very very young), i remember screaming and tantruming (i'm talking kicking, punching, screaming at the top of my lungs) until they would give me an extra kinder bar (i had already had at least 2 ). i am autistic and i had been a total bitch (sorry) to my parents from about 2 years old, i think i had worn them down so much they ended up just giving in, and as a result, i weighed 14 stone by the time i was 11. then when i started secondary school, i stopped eating apart from a sandwich for dinner (2 very thin slices of bread with 2 water thin chicken slices and a scrape of mayonnaise), i dropped to about ?9? stone (i wasn't stick thin, but i looked drastically different, i had a tiny bit of pudge on my stomach, which was honestly thinking back on it probably partly loose skin) and i was about 5'3 at the time. i definitely had anorexia although never diagnosed, ive never even brought it up to anyone before this i spent practically everyday, from the ages of 11 to 15, on pro ana sites. then all of a sudden, i started eating 'normally' again, but this quickly turned into overeating and binging (i would eat 6 chicken balls, a large egg fried rice, chips and 2 large spring rolls at least one day a week), and honestly, it's been this way ever since, and then 4 years ago i fell into restricting again sorry for such a wall of text, ive never spoken about this before and i guess it's good to try and understand where this all started.

@Goawayquickly i am very sedentary, 5'4 and about 10 stone 9, i looked up my tdee and this is 500 calories under my recommended, as i need to lose weight, but perhaps you are right i'm wondering if i should stop counting calories but just log what i eat, to stay on track but avoid getting obsessive?

Oh lovely, you really have been through it. I totally understand where you're coming from and I know how exhausting that binge/restriction cycle is. I would say that it's probably not the right time to try and lose weight. You need to focus on healing your relationship with food - as silly as that sounds. Have you had any professional support? It would definitely be worth seeking some compassionate help. You deserve to feel better.

To combat binging I sometimes have a mug of tea
This for me. I put on lockdown weight just eating too much, then tried restricting.. I binged... Then I just fasted for a full day. Maybe a day and a half (obviously not recommended for anyone with/history of ed) and found it easier to eat less.
Essentially only had OMAD but whatever I wanted.
I did snack on fruit/veg one or two times a day. Upped my water.
Filled up every other bout of hunger with a large mug of tea somtimes two. Have lost 7lbs in 2 weeks and 4 days.
I know these things don't work for everyone it's just somthing new for me that I tried.

Have you heard of mental/extreme hunger. Its common and desirable in anorexia recovery and is what you describe as a 15 year old. It probably scared you as you didn't understand you needed to catch up on the food you missed as a youngster. Read about it and it might make sense to your situation.

@Notimeforaname i won't try the fasting (for obvious reasons), but drinking tea when i feel the binge urges is a very good idea! i'll try and remind myself of it next time i feel like i'm about to start, it sounds like something that should work! i think i need a distraction, i think being bored out of my mind is what causes it. i was a very very bored child (dad always at work sometimes 12 hour shifts, my mum worn down with almost no energy to play with me because of my behaviour, and i have no siblings, i used her tablet lots and lots, and i had my own tablet by the time i was about 6, and unfortunately, had unlimited internet access which lead me into horrible situations , but that's another post). what i'm saying is, i had no entertainment whatsoever other than school (which i left and became home schooled at the age of 8!) my only enjoyment was food, really . tonight, i was watching a k-drama, and i think my brain was under stimulated, so it turned to food and it's like i couldn't even control it

@mynameiscalypso oh wow, thank you, your message is very sweet, so so lovely i haven't had any support whatsoever, my parents 'know' about my binging, but we've never spoke about it or spoken to anyone else about it my childhood- and teenhood, have been very very lonely and isolated, a very familiar feeling even now. i will definitely look into getting some real support, but as silly as it sounds, i feel so embarrassed even talking about it anonymously on here

Please don't feel embarrassed - my psychiatrist once told me that he specialised in eating disorders because his patients were generally so smart, funny and enjoyable to talk to. They just happened to have a messed up relationship with food. Sometimes it feels like food is your only friend and it's the only way to actually feel something and feeling full/hungry/whatever is much 'safer' than actually feeling any emotion.

@mynameiscalypso thank you so much, i'll definitely be looking into getting some help, i really don't think i can deal with this much longer and i wish it'd all go away i know going to a therapist won't be the 'cure' but i know it'll take a load off, i just need the courage to actually go and speak about it

Have you looked into Nòom? Very helpful in exploring psychological aspects of eating and you get a real life coach and group support

It's ok. Accept what you've eaten, and choose to move on and start again immediately. No, oh I'll start on Monday as I've ruined it. Just accept it, say OK that happened, and get back on the bike.

You also need to recognise the difference between a subjective binge and an objective binge.

What you've called binges aren't low calorie, but they're in the realms of normal treats. That Chinese meal is a normal treat takeaway. So this is a subjective binge.

Objective binges are when people eat 5.000 calories or literally force feed themselves for hours.

You need to get some therapy, because while you are no longer anorexic you have disordered eating.

Up you daily to something like 1600 / 1700 average per week child crying but ill come back...

@CorianderLord i was 11 when i was eating that much, i mean 6 big chicken balls, a large egg fried rice, a full bag of chips and 2 huge spring rolls, sometimes dumplings too, oh and our chinese also sold matcha ice cream, so sometimes i would eat a full tub of that too i'll be looking into therapy

sorry, that was meant to be not

I would look for a therapist that understands disordered eating. Bulimia isn't just about making yourself sick after overeating but can also be forcing yourself to fast or exercise intensively to make up for it.

This book has helped me until you get to speak to that therapist - "Brain over Binge" by Kathryn Hansen.

Also Chromium supplements (I'm not a doctor so check with yours!) have been amazing and flat out stopped my binges. Have a google as there are a few good articles on pubmed for how this can be helpful in binge eating disorder.

I had this issue after trying to lose 5 stone. I had bullemia as a teen so trying to lsoe weight was very scary for me and it was hard not to slip back into the bullemia despite being recovered almost 10yrs. Like people have said, that limit is probably too low and you're feeling too restricted. I had the exact same issue and once I upped it, it helped.

Enter your details into a tdee calculator and then just take off 500 from that and try and have that amount per day (if you are determined to stick to the counting method). It's usually higher than we expect especially if you add in a 30 min brisk walk or jog or cycle here and there (which would up your available intake for the day).

I hope you find something that works for you and yes, definitely look into getting some help along the way. I had therapy alongside my weight loss and couldn't have done it without it.

I used to binge too but developed an allergy to dairy and eggs and had to go cold turkey on them and it cured my binging completely as everything I used to binge on contained dairy. I now eat healthily and can even have treats like a vegan ice cream without it triggering a full on binge. For me cutting out anything with milk in was the answer. I sympathise though as I was stuck in a bad cycle for years with my weight fluctuating within 5 stone. I had size 10, 12, 14, 16, 18 and 20 clothes in different draws. I am now a 14 (so a little over weight) but a constant 14 who is healthy and fit as I have got into exercise now. I am finally at ease with myself and that is the main thing. Best of luck, I hope you find something that helps break you free.

OP I'm struggling with this as well. It's been all week. I low carbed for a year and lost 2.5st and felt amazing. I am now struggling to eat normally. When I try to to back to it, I end up massively binging on absolute rubbish. I also ate two tubes of smarties yesterday, what is it with the smarties?

Loads of great advice on here about your relationship with food. It sounds like you've had a difficult start with it.

One thing though you've said you've got a sedentary lifestyle. Is there any way to address this? I'm not massively into exercise but it definitely helps with feeling good, healthy, strong and if I'm doing that, I'm not rooting in the treat cupboard... Even just swapping out a drive to the shop/school run for a walk. I can never be bothered but I'm always glad I did it. Maybe a yoga or pilates video from YouTube for a gentle stretch?

thank you everyone who responded the 1300 calories puts me in a 500 calorie deficit from my tdee, but i suspect my body is reacting so badly because of the past i could try getting out more, i am very unfit (not even massively overweight, just never done any sort of exercise really ) so it would have to just be walks, but i could start walking my dog longer distances (he's a greyhound, anyone who knows about retired greyhounds knows that they would rather remain on the sofa than be dragged on a walk, so he only gets 3 10 minute walks around the block a day, as we live in a flat without a garden). i think i need to take my focus away from being skinny, and change it to being healthy, it's just very hard to change years and years of thinking