to ask DH to move out for a while?

[namechangedforthecraic]

Been shielding extremely vulnerable household members and have been extremely conservative since the pausing of shielding due to the level of risk. Time has come for DH to return to his work as a secondary teacher meaning he'll be face to face with hundreds of teenagers across the week in poorly ventilated classrooms with no PPE.
Aibu to expect that DH should live elsewhere (this is a possibility for us logistically) to protect our family members in the home? With his agreement of course. Neither of us know how to handle this really and wonder what other families in this situation are doing?

If he wears a mask, follows good hand hygiene and showers and changes the second he comes in I think that’s the best you can do
This was always the recommendation. Nothing ever said that other members of the household should shield.

As long as good hygiene takes place as soon as he comes home, it should be fine.

It sounds very tough OP and must be very difficult: I don't envy you.

It might not be a bad idea for a few weeks so you can see how things go with school opening etc -- you'll then be able to make an informed judgement based on whether infection rates rise in your area.

But you have to ask yourself how long you're prepared to sustain that for: its not as if we're going to get to a magical cut-off point where schools are going to be declared safe. Unless we have a vaccine before Christmas (unlikely), there is going to be some level of risk throughout this academic year, possibly beyond.

I suppose I would say by all means do it while you take the temperature of how things settle down after schools reopen. But don't expect it to be a long-term silver bullet that protects you from all risk.

Hi OP, you might want to ask this question in a forum for shielding (search FB for shielders UK if you have it) as its a very difficult situation to understand unless you are in it yourself.

I'm shielded (on pause) as I have no spleen so although I'm at no additional risk of catching Covid I am extremely vulnerable to potential secondary infections, sepsis etc. I am sending my DD17 back to sixth form as I just can't balance destroying years of her hard work and her potential future but its really really hard. DH and DS have worked throughout but in more controlled circumstances than a school.

If your DH were to move out it could be for a significant time, but removes the additional risk completely however you can lower risks with him at home with showers, clothes changes, distancing at home etc. Its such a personal choice, for example we don't know how your relationship is and if there are any fears being separated for so long would create issues there, or if the work place will be able to allow a mask and increased distancing etc for him.

I would urge you to find us on FB as there are many people in various situations and you may find some in the same boat you guys are in.

Have you spoken to the consultants of the two extremely vulnerable people and sought their advice? I only ask because one of my children is clinically extremely vulnerable, definitely would stay on the shielded list even once they've taken the 90% of children off it that they are expecting to remove, has had injections to protect against RSV for her first 3 years of life (only child for 100 miles to have that treatment approved for a second year let alone a third), has been on antibiotics every day of her life, had to have medication to prevent the development of chicken pox etc. I'm just painting a picture that she's not a child who suffers from run of the mill asthma for example.

We spoke to her consultant last week and his advice was to send her to school, that in their very large hospital (one of the few children's ecmo centres for example, it is a specalist children's hospital) they've not had to admit any child, even those who are clinically extremely vulnerable, to ICU with covid complications. That we had to understand the perception of risk, and that the risk is on a macro scale, the NHS can't cope with all these people getting ill at once as it's a new disease and we have next to no herd immunity, rather than this being a micro scale risk ie she would get a lot sicker than with Covid19 than with a lot of other illnesses. Speaking to him was massively reassuring, he said at the moment we should live normally just with face masks and a lot of handwashing, go for days out, go to work and school, keep a close eye on cases in our area and if it starts going up to 20 or 30 a day then at that point change our behavior. Now what our consultant advised may be completely different for another illness, but he's kept her alive for 9 years, from the point where they thought she wouldn't live to see one, to when she would need a lung transplant to now. This is a new, difficult situation, the government has thrown some very mixed messages at us, but don't try to make this decision alone, ask the doctors involved in your families care what the actual risk is and go from there to decide what is best for your family.