To be upset about the class Pods!?

[irishmammy85]

My DS (5) is starting school this year and they have been put into pods of 4/5 and not 1 of his good friends are in his pod...😭 surely it's pointless separating them as they will be having play dates outside of school!! Also does it not make sense to have them with their best buddies to make all this easier on them!? Aibu...I don't want to be THAT parent but I'm gutted for him already and they haven't even started 😫

I think you have a point, OP. People are focussing on the school's convenience and of course this is a really complex thing for them to have to sort out. However, the whole point of pods is to limit the spread of infection, and therefore it makes sense to try as much as possible to keep children in a pod with at least some of the children they will be mixing with outside school. It's nothing to do with parents having to manage what happens outside school; this may not be possible, for example when children are friends with close neighbours, or attend child minders.

How many kids and how many teachers are in the school OP? If it's anything like the school my kids were at the staff will have complex Venn diagrams of siblings, half siblings and cousins!
I think after yesterday's government press conference here, you might as well contact Boris for information.

If he will be seeing them outside of school anyway then you are confident he won't lose them as friends, which is good- therefore he will be making new friends and expanding his circle. Honestly not a bad thing.

Friendships are very fluid at 5. The whole 'pod' or 'bubble' thing has arisen just because schools are compelled to follow the governmental decrees. In practice, you just fly below the radar and keep doing whatever you're doing at home. Your child might make new friends if he is in a 'pod' with other children who aren't currently his friends. Look at it that way!

So should the teacher be tuning around a few Montessori's to suss out who's friends with who? That's mad Ted. I'd hate my ds going into a school knowing no one and the other 3 in his pod are all friends. Talk about making a situation more difficult.

*ringing a few Montessori's

We are slightly different in Scotland, we have class or year group groups, so 25-90 in my school. However dd1 rural school has classes of 20 and asked kids for 2 people they would like to be with and 2 they wouldn't (for sitting with in class) thisbwas to reuce stress on return. Dd got no one she wanted, I assume those she chose chose others and she wasn't wanted. Yes it isn't nice but she is coping and is trying to speak to new people. (she suffers extream anxiety and self harma when anxious) so maybe other were wabted in other pods and you just cant make it work for everyone.
I am sure your child will be okay and your worries will hopefully be fruitless. These are strabge times.

It's not the friends I'm completely bothered about it's the cousin in his class that he is close to and I collect said cousin a few days a week too, the live around the corner and we see them practically every second day...they might as well be siblings!!

@Sweetmotherofallthatisholyabov no but it's not hard to send a message to someone else who works in the school (preschool teacher!) and ask her what dynamics they have etc..

I don't think yabu at all. It's their first day of school, having an established friend/s would be really helpful. I am a mum and I can appreciate this. I am also a teacher and would want all my children to come in happy. Yes, friendship groups can change over the year but for their first term, make them happy!

@eggandonion just 150ish in the school.
Teachers- I think 7

@CostaCosta YY!! I'm glad I'm not the only one that thinks this way! Thank you.

Our school did this for when R went back. Cousins, best mates etc were separated. Twins weren't though in fairness.

The reason was because they felt those kids would find it really hard to socially distance when they're used to being so close. They understand that 4/5 year olds can't socially distance fully but they didn't want to make it 'worse' if that makes sense. They need to encourage them to keep apart as much as possible.

DD was gutted but within a day she was fine and made new mates.

@irishmammy85 I hope your child gets on ok on their first day. My ds1 is going into year 1, in a group with his best friends from reception. I would be gutted if this wasn't the case! I don't understand the thinking of some schools!

@ChipsAreLife I understand what you mean but I think that is bonkers! Surely it's better for the children to be with familiar faces than split up from everyone. And like you said, they make new friends anyway and then presumably don't social distance with them so what was the point of the initial upset??

Our daughter went back for half a term before Summer. The changing of her class into small pods really affected her friendships and for half the time she was very resistant to going to school at all.

So YANBU, it was a nightmare.

@CostaCosta yeah I don't know. This was in early June when things were still really raw so think they were just doing what they felt was best. All the kids seemed absolutely fine though!

The whole thing is just rubbish for the little ones

I think you are a fab caring teacher and if each child can start their school life with a buddy then thats great. They are only little people and as resilient as we think they are they are starting the school years with the covid rules on top of it all. What harm does it do to give them an extra bit of security? I wish my grandsons teacher was more empathetic when he started last September xx

@ChipsAreLife I agree with that! I'm dreading my ds going back. The thought of sending him walking in the school gate alone, to a teacher he hasn't met, while we're all socially distanced and wearing masks just feels so sad!

Honestly, this will happen all the time, pods or no pods. DD3 was deliberately separated from her best friend going from Year R to Year 1 (they were a pair of monkeys together!) and that meant that DD3 lost all of her friends to the other class. She got over it very quickly.

I was all set to explain about how pods help schools with track and trace, and that it's common for schools to separate friends and relatives when kids start school, but then you went and wrote that arsey post about the Taoiseach. What a shit-picky thing to write.

Not only are you 'that' parent, you're 'that' teacher too.

Rather than focusing on how people aren't doing what you think they should be doing, take a look at what the government think you should be doing, but you aren't...According to the government (you know that one headed by the Taoiseach NOT under any circumstances a prime minister), you shouldn't have members of more than one household in a car together.

Or maybe it's only the recommendations that don't suit you, you choose to object to? And whilst you're at it, try to get one up on another poster on a not-Irish website, for not using an Irish language reference. You tool.

4-5 year olds tend not to worry about things in the way we adults might imagine. My bet is he’ll be more bothered by an itchy label on his school jumper than who’s in his class pod.

Honestly I would raise it with the school and give them a list of people who he should be in a pod with.

Yes, do this.....if you want to be talked about in the staff room and have the teachers eye rolling. I know parents who would do this and they are unbearable in every way. Nightmare parents.

It's not the friends I'm completely bothered about it's the cousin in his class that he is close to and I collect said cousin a few days a week too, the live around the corner and we see them practically every second day...they might as well be siblings!!

He’ll do better to make new friends as his cousin will always be his cousin and friend. I think friendships are going to be restricted enough as it is with only 4 other kids in the bubble. It’s much better for making friends that those in the bubble are 4 new kids, rather than 3 and a cousin he’s already friends with.

First I've heard about 'pods' is this a thing?! And why, if the guidance is bubbles of 30?

As far as I know my DD is in a class with 30 other children including 3 of her best friends, I have prepared her for school going back on that basis.

Are they on separate tables or something and can't go from one table to another? How depressing!