The Grandparents.

[Spied]

I've recently allowed DC's grandparents to spend time with them in their home which is what they used to do quite often prior to this pandemic. I've no problem with this.
Grandparents however are pushing the boundaries and promising DC trips to places that I'm not comfortable with them visiting just yet. Suggestions are always made directly to the DC about where they will take them and I'm the last to find out about it.
My DC after having been cooped up at home a lot of the time would love to go to the places they are promising to take them and so I'm left looking like the horrible Mum who says 'No' and my DC treat me like an evil witch as a consequence.
Grandparents know I will say 'No'.
Aibu in thinking grandparents are trying to cause friction between my DC and I?
I've asked them to clear things with me first but they never do. I've noticed they are very sly.
Wibu to just say no to all contact for the time being?

DC are 9&11

You are not being unreasonable. My parents do this all the time. My DS is 12 now and I’ve had to say to him for the last couple of years that if GPs promise something then he needs to check with me first. I told him it’s because they get ‘overexcited’ rather than the truth which is that his GPs are manipulative. Parents don’t like it but it stops him being disappointed and he is starting to see for himself what they are like.

If that’s the only issue I think stopping all contact would be a bit unreasonable. Though obviously there might be other stuff happening that means no contact is right.

As your children are 9 and 11 maybe you should be clear with them the reasons why you are not happy with some activities at the moment (I’m assuming it’s related to covid?) and that no trips will happen until you have given them the ok regardless of what the GP say.

I mean you shouldn’t have to do that because the grandparents should run it by you first but at their ages I think they can maybe understand that different people have different views on things.

My opinion though is based on the assumption that their relationship with GP is usually good and there are not major other issues. Obviously if the relationship is not great for other reasons no contact might be right...but I thinks it’s unreasonable if it’s just because of the comments about activities.

Just to add my parents do this too sometimes and it took a bit of time to break. Luckily they rarely have the kids without me so when something is mentioned that can’t happen (because they won’t not it not because I don’t want it to happen) I usually clarify for the kids.

YANBU to say no contact. Your children equals your choice. But unless they were being sly and manipulative in other areas I would say no unsupervised contact. That way you are there to shut it down

Thanks for your thoughts and advice.
I'm going to speak to the grandparents again and explain they must ask me first before promising the DC outings and I'll be tagging along on visits too. ( Grandparents will hate this)