to wish people wouldn't post birthday fundraisers on Facebook

[Lludmilla]

Yeah, I know people can just ignore, etc etc. But that can be hard, and guilt-inducing, and there are a lot of these fundraisers nowadays, and times are tight. There's just something so entitled about that 'For my birthday this year, I'm asking for donations' wording on FB that really gets on my wick too.

AIBU to say that if someone's fundraising it would be a lot more subtle to create a Justgiving page and share it with whoever they choose to, rather than effectively asking every single person on their FB friend list for money on their birthday which is far more likely to make people feel duty-bound to give money they may not have?

AIBU to say that if someone's fundraising it would be a lot more subtle to create a Justgiving page and share it with whoever they choose to, rather than effectively asking every single person on their FB friend list for money on their birthday which is far more likely to make people feel duty-bound to give money they may not have?

I'd find your way much more guilt inducing. Just scroll if you don't want to give.

I think if something is going to strike a chord with you and make you want to donate then it makes no difference how that fundraiser gets to you. If you can't or don't want to donate then that's fine too.

Seeing that people have not donated is what gets to me.

They are a little irritating but I suppose a reasonable way for people to bring us causes close to them (or not) in a reasonably unobtrusive way. You don't have to engage.

But like any fundraising they can be a bit guilt inducing, and you don't ever just have one 'birthday fundraiser friend' but loads so sometimes its 2/3 of them in a row.

Also (rightly or wrongly) I so many people on facebook I'd never buy an actual b-day present for...so no don't fancy forking out £5 every other week in honour of acquaintances' birthdays.

I also wonder how many of these...'donate for me' people still expect gifts from their closest friends and family anyway, despite apparently wanting donations instead....

But why should people stop doing what they want, just because it makes you feel guilty? Some 3rd party donation sites take a percentage of the money raised as well.

How is hard to just leave it alone?
"Guilt inducing"? Nah

I also wonder how many of these...'donate for me' people still expect gifts from their closest friends and family anyway, despite apparently wanting donations instead....

Good point!

But why should people stop doing what they want, just because it makes you feel guilty? Some 3rd party donation sites take a percentage of the money raised as well.

I take your point re percentage. But it's not just because I personally don't like it. I suspect it may make a lot of people feel awkward.

I personally don’t do these kind of fundraisers but I wouldn’t let someone else’s awkward feeling stop me if I wanted to! If my friends didn’t like it they would be welcome to scroll past or unfriend me.

I think of these as a form of virtue signalling and just ignore. I'm happy to make donations but to causes that I've chosen myself.

Agreed OP and even worse, when someone else that is a friend and also friends with the birthday do gooder suggests on Facebook to you that you should donate!

Oh and yes, we have had that @nikkylou
They got told where to go

I disagree actually. I think if someone sent me a fundraiser directly I'd feel much more obligated to donate to it than if I'd just seen it whilst scrolling on Facebook.

I can't see why it really bothers you.

Agreed OP and even worse, when someone else that is a friend and also friends with the birthday do gooder suggests on Facebook to you that you should donate! hmm

Crikey! Mind you, I can think of people I know who'd do that sort of thing.

Facebook currently doesn't take a fee from donations - which is why charities encourage it Once they start charging fees as they do in the US, it'll probably slow down.

I also think it's just virtue signalling. I get it probably does increase charitable giving but I see nearly a different once every day, so I now just scroll past. I give to certain charities every month, I donate at events like coffee mornings or if a friend is running a marathon. I will give for a birthday fundraiser if I normally gave that person a gift, but just asking for a donation on facebook from the people you were in university with 10 years ago is just virtue signalling IMO.

I work in the sector and over the past 2 years FB birthday fundraisers have been great for a lot of charities - small ones especially - and it has increased funding by a really good amount. I think you should just let it slide. I work for a charity but never donate to them (unless I want to of course )

I think FB invites you to do a fundraiser when its your birthday and it donates to it too.

I think FB invites you to do a fundraiser when its your birthday and it donates to it too.

If so, I'd agree that's good from the charities' perspective, but I do also think it would increase pressure on a person to do a fundraiser in the first place.

But your idea is to actually target certain people with a justgiving page instead :/
At least with the Fb people know it's just a 'thing' and can scroll past.

Yabu.

No one forces anyone to donate if they don’t want to nor is there some massive obligation to do so. If you feel such an obligation, that’s more about you than them. Plus, it is only in notifications and you can easily close it and press ignore.

I’ve donated to friends and family in the past because the causes they chose matter to me, others I scrolled past/ignored and it has had no change in my relationships with said people.

Why should someone have to make another separate page, somewhere else, to ask so you don’t feel guilty?

I also have never been asked nor has anyone expected another gift from someone who has donated.

I agree that it's annoying and virtue signalling. There are actually not many people that I would buy a birthday present for (I'm not mean, just buy for closest friends and family) and resent that the fundraisers are always just random FB friend who I would have had no intention of buying for.

So you want people to ask for charity donations in the way you happen to prefer and not the way you arbitrarily don’t like? Sorry but this is a you problem. And I would rather fundraise via a platform that doesnt take a cut of the donations!

You are imagining that other people must feel arbitrarily awkward about this type of fundraising just because you do! So you don’t know them that well - fine, don’t donate!

I did one for my last birthday expecting not to get much, and raised £150 for my local food bank. If a few people felt awkward due to their lack of assertiveness or boundaries (because that’s what this is, this feeling that other people can ‘make’ you feel awkward by posting something to their entire friends list) then fuck that, it was worth it.

YABU I would much rather see a general fb post about it then be personally sent it! Much easier to ignore a post, and less guilt inducing!

I only donate for birthday ones if it’s someone I would’ve bought a gift for normally or a charity that I want to give money to anyway.

Just ignore them if you don’t want to donate, it really takes far less mental effort than getting worked up over them existing!

I’ve done it a couple of times purely because Facebook make a donation if you do it. I post on it to explain to people that’s why it’s there and I don’t expect anyone to donate. It’s nice if anyone does though.

@dementedpixie

I think FB invites you to do a fundraiser when its your birthday and it donates to it too.

Yep it does. It is my birthday in the next couple of days and FB gives me the option of a few different charities and suggests I start a Birthday Fundraiser.

YABU. I’d rather random relatives gave £10 to a useful charity than buy me another Set of body butters or stinky scented candles.