My partner and I have been together 10 years now. He has a son who is 11 who lives with us and we have a 1 year old and one on the way.
Okay, my partner works different shifts different hours each week. Some weeks will have two days off or 3-4 days off but that is rare. He will often work 6 days in a week. His shift time can be 5am-5pm or 10-10 or 9-8 etc it all depends on what he is given. I’m 8 months pregnant currently and like I said we have a one year old. I love that I can be home to spend time with baby etc however he will accept every shift that work offer to him and has recently started the gym three evenings a week 6:30-8pm when he can make it.
In general our one year old is great and it’s a breeze but occasionally it can take hours to get her to sleep so this is difficult being so pregnant and I am also anemic so m struggling with the lack of energy that comes with that. On his days off recently he’s been super busy fitting a new kitchen and bathroom and flooring throughout the house so on the days he’s off my routine or day doesn’t change an awful lot.
He will do housework like the kitchen and hoovering etc and he will entertain and play with baby feed her give her bath etc. But I seem to be doing an awful lot. I don’t resent him and he always gets defensive when I bring it up saying he has to make time like getting up at 6am to play a video game when everyone else is still sleeping.
Twice last week he got up at 6am and was back in bed at 8 for a nap. I don’t want to manage his time but does this seem normal? He’s very into weights and does then every day at home and occasionally cooks, he used to cook every time he was here but we seem to be so much busier lately that I always end up just throwing something in the oven. We do have time out together and we spend time watching tv after the kids are in bed. When I bring it up to him he says if the gym is a problem I won’t go. I know it’s hard for you and you’re tired - I’m tired too etc.
Is it unreasonable of me to expect him to do more? I don’t want to take his hobby away from him and I’m very happy he’s so into clean eating and training his body as he has suffered with depression in the past so I’m happy he has this to be passionate about but when I bring it up he says what’s your ideal? For me to just sit next to you all day. I see how it can come across like that but that’s not what I want I just want time for me really. Thanks for reading.