To ask for your experiences of ADD in adults?

[Stackys]

I can’t get fuck all done. I spend more time daydreaming about stuff than actually doing stuff. I feel like I have absolutely loads to do so I don’t do anything as I don’t know where to start.

I’m supposed to be writing a book. I currently have 5 different stories on the go as I just can’t focus on one. I’m constantly losing stuff, important stuff like my work uniform.

I think I’m in the wrong job as i forget to do stuff or put off doing stuff because I want to do something else first then neither get done. I obsess over stuff and I’m messy and unorganised. I can’t socialise properly. I never know what to talk about unless it’s one of my obsessions. People talk to me and I just zone out and start thinking of other things as I have no interest in what they’re saying.

I’ve always been the same, even as a child. I had stacks of pictures to colour and couldn’t decide which one to do so none of them got done even though I wanted to.

Currently in waiting list for autism assessment but the more I think about it the more I think I’m more classic of ADD?

You sound like my husband. Although he gets a lot done. He always has about 6 jobs on the go at once as he can’t seem to settle and Finnish one before starting the next. Although he does finish eventually. He has loads and loads of Energy and enthusiasm for pretty much anything. He is loads of fun when he is on form.
On the other hand when he crashes he really crashes and will literally just stop what he’s doing and rest. Won’t ever go out if he’s ‘not in the mood’.
Constantly losing his keys and phone and money.
He is self employed In a manual job which helps. Hates paperwork or anything that involves sitting calmly. Barely watches tv.
Very emotional, and everything is extreme. Super happy or super cross or super sad, Super loving, super excited etc.
He is very very loyal. Cannot multi task at all. Can’t talk while he is concentrating. So while I could send a text, serve the dinner, supervise the kids and half watch a tv program all at the same time. He can only do one of those. Can’t chat and drive for example.
Not at all food focused. Forgets to eat.
Sound familiar at all?

My dd who is in her 20’s has just been diagnosed and you sound exactly like her.

I can also relate to what you say about socialising. The talking about your current obsession. (Which to be fair are often really interesting in DH case), but finding it hard to focus on other people’s interests.

I do concentration exercises since I was a child. You can use brain apps and even adult colouring books are great. Set a timer, 20 min, and stick to it no matter what. Even 10 min is great. It does help me a lot.

Sounds identical Fox, apart from the emotion side ... I’m pretty flat at all times.

I just can’t do paperwork which is why I’m failing as a nurse. I definitely can not multitask and I wind myself up about non events such as popping to shop. Took me 3 hours to get going to shop this morning, 5 minutes away.

You can have both autism and add.

'I obsess over stuff and I’m messy and unorganised. I can’t socialise properly. I never know what to talk about unless it’s one of my obsessions. People talk to me and I just zone out and start thinking of other things as I have no interest in what they’re saying.'
This sounds familiar to me and I'm autistic.

Im not sure there's a huge amount of difference between the two - there is with a medical model of defecits but not when you talk to folk with diagnoses about their experiences.

I identify with a lot of this, but is there a point to diagnosis as an adult? Can anything be done?

That’s what DH says. I’m he is who he is. It helps me to understand when he can’t help something (losing his keys) and when he is actually being u reasonable (in the way all humans are sometimes). So it’s stopped a few arguments. It also helps him to understand when he really needs to take responsibility for something knowing he struggles for a reason (like concentrating when driving and not letting passengers distract him).

is there a point to diagnosis as an adult? Can anything be done

Reasonable adjustments from an employer plus the peace of mind it brings due to knowing why you do some things differently, that you're not 'wrong or weird or odd' you are wired differently and have a medical diagnosis confirming that.

Stackys lots of conditions have traits that overlap, sometimes it's only the professionals who can look at the groups of traits and decide whether someone has one condition or two or several. Also most of the diagnostics are based on the male presentation of all the conditions and mostly, women present differently.

It does sound like it as I have a close friend with it and she struggles with inertia.
I’m considering an assessment too because I would like to have answers about why I’ve always been “different” and have had to train myself to appear “normal”. It is HARD WORK. I’m veering more towards the hyperactive side though
They ask you about school in the assessment. You mentioned the pictures, what other examples are there of similar behaviour?

A lot of the reason for wanting to know OP is that ADHD is so over-looked in girls and years of hearing you’re weird/rude/stupid/lazy/disorganised can become an internalised script and cause low self esteem. I was bright at primary school but significantly underachieved ever since. At secondary for instance I would come out of a lesson and find I had not actually heard anything that had gone on and oh apparently we had homework set but I missed that too ffs

Yes, I think I would feel less 'crap' if I had an explanation for some of the things I have been unsuccessfully trying to change for decades.

@Stackys

Sounds identical Fox, apart from the emotion side ... I’m pretty flat at all times.

I just can’t do paperwork which is why I’m failing as a nurse. I definitely can not multitask and I wind myself up about non events such as popping to shop. Took me 3 hours to get going to shop this morning, 5 minutes away.

ADHD is a disorder of inaction. You know what to do. You just bring yourself to do it.

Russell Barkley ADHD specialist (check out some of his videos on you tube) says "It is not that the individual does not know what to do. It is that somehow it does not get done."

I feel like lots of the time I am buffering. Stuck. ADHD causes problems switching tasks so you can't start, once you start you often can't stop and it's difficult to transition between one task and another.

I spend many days doing fuck all and taking hours to start the one task I am procrastinating on. Often it's something I want to do and may even enjoy once started! It's a bizarre disorder.

In terms of the energy aspect. Not everyone with ADHD has boundless energy. I have inattentive ADHD which comes with the poor executive functioning but with no or few symptoms of impulsivity or hyperactivity. Sometimes I wish I had that part. It sounds like it could be fun!! A lot (but not all) the positives that are talked about with ADHD come with the hyperactive and impulsive part People talk about boundless energy and constantly trying new things and being active all day everyday. Not with inattentive ADHD. I spend most of my time doing nothing and get very overwhelmed if I have too much on (ie more than 1 thing a day). I also need whole days without anything to do to keep sane.

Obviously there are also lots of negatives that come with hyperactivity and impulsiveness and I do not mean to imply that it's all roses!!! Just people always quite these things as if they apply to everyone with ADHD and they do not.

As others have said you can have ASC and ADHD together. ADHD does cause social skills difficulties which is another less known symptom. However the thing that jumps out to me is that you aren't interested in talking about anything except your "obsessions". That's very typical ASC.

it's great you are on waiting list for assessment. They should if NHS assess you or consider you for both.

I'm so glad this thread is here. I was Googling adult symptoms and treatment last night.
I'm
Convinced I've got something going on. I don't suppose GPs would entertain me at the moment (phone triage only atm)
Can you get a private diagnosis?

Ah yes, DH definitely struggles with impulse control. He knows it so he is very strict about certain activities which he would struggle to keep within safe limits. Such as gambling. So if he was on a stag do at a Casio he would only take a set amount of cash and no cards or any way to access more money so he didn’t get carried away... usually avoids gambling or any addictive substances. He’s lucky he recognised that in himself early on in his life.
So the energy and impulse control has its positives but also down sides. Holiday are exhausting keeping him entertained. I say we are not allowed to call it holiday as that implies a rest 😁 it’s just ‘going away ‘ 😉