To ask for your favourite family traditions?

[Bewilderbeastie]

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DH and I both grew up in families that didn't really bother with any traditions. By that I mean, although we celebrated Christmas (and have lovely memories of great food, generous gifts and crap telly - which we're grateful for, I know not everyone is fortunate enough to get this) we didn't do anything that brought the family together in other ways.

For example, in my house we always ate on trays in front of the telly. I had a colleague who would put names of countries in a hat. Their DC would pick one out every week and then that week they'd have a themed meal about that country - the food but also looking at the culture, getting dressed up and using the meal to talk about what they found out. I thought it was a really lovely idea.

Now we have our own family we're thinking of things we can do. I'd love to know any family traditions you have particularly fond memories of? Not just the big holidays, could be anything.

Honestly, OP, don’t force it. Like your colleague’s ‘tradition’ strikes me as absolutely cringeworthy. Your own rituals will develop, and your children will remember the most random habits with pleasure, rather than the forced ‘making memories’/ organ8sed fun stuff.

@SaintofBats thanks for the reply - I think if we don't force it to some extent, nothing will ever happen. Growing up I would have loved more activities that brought us all together more, but we just weren't that family...

I know what you mean Op
I also grew up eating dinner in front of the telly and there are very few photos of me as a child

There is a book called the art of making memories which can help with this
But also things do evolve as a pp said

We have a song for bathtime which I made up in a state of exhausted hysterics and all the kids love it, (oldest is now 12) 😂 I don't sing it every day !!
We do xmas pyjamas
First day of school photos, every year
Another local family and ours often have days out Together

These things become tradition

We make sure we eat together and we also talk about the highs and lows of the day and everyone takes it in turn to tell
Theirs
Though you heave reminded me that we haven't done this since lockdown as we know every thing
Can't wait until sept when there will be so much more input

How old are your children? Little ones are more likely to be up for trying new things than teens, who would probably look at you like you'd sprouted horns if you suddenly suggested a themed meal after 12 years of telly dinners!

@linmanuel yes, not many photos of me, either! We also didn't really have family holidays. Thanks for the book recc, and those ideas sound lovely

@ArtemisBean mine is only a few months, so hopefully very receptive!

Brilliant, that means the world is your oyster! We have a few events we go to every year. It's lovely having some things in the calendar to look forward to. Country show, harvest festival, outdoor theatre and picnic, that kind of thing.

You don’t have to force things exactly just try to do things together and then repeat the things you like doing.

My lot loved cooking a meal together, one would wash the veggies, another cut them up etc and while dad does the cooking bit one would set the table, one would pick a playlist for eating to etc

After dinner walks in nice weather with the kids on their scooters, welly walks when it’s wet but warm. We always listen to funny audio books on long car journeys and our dc remember who’s turn it is to pick next!

Your dc are lucky they have parents who want to make memories and traditions so enjoy it

Every Christmas I take the kids to the garden centre and they choose a new bauble for the tree. We visit the same santa on christmas eve. Christmas morning, they always pile into my bed to open their stockings. Christmas breakfast is always chocolate.

The birthday child does to bed early the night before and everyone else decorates the house and sets out presents. The birthday child chooses what to that day and what's on the menu.

Halloween we always trick or treat.

Bonfire night, Dh brings home cookies and they have those after we have done sparklers and attended the local fireworks.

We also have a bath song, although they are too old for that now as bath themselves, everyone and then they do request it.

I feel like you colleague only did that countries in a hat thing a couple of times...

For example, in my house we always ate on trays in front of the telly.
There is your family's tradition.

Try not to force things.Traditions should just evolve naturally.
Photos every year on your birthday (like royals do) is a fabulous idea.

Traditions I remember are:
Pocket money going up by a set amount each year on DC's birthdays and asking Dad for it the minute he walked through the door on payday.

Gardening
Helping my dad in the garden
(I still have a spade which my dad threw out which I wanted as it reminds me of those times).

I'd help him by weeding and he had a vegetable patch and I remember helping him dig up potatoes and carrots.

Having a small patch of garden and sowing any seeds I wanted in it.

Cooking
Helping my mum to bake fruit pies and meringues on Sunday afternoons (it was probably Mum's great way of developing my cooking skills and independence).

Sitting around the kitchen table for tea together every day.

Bonfire night
We always had our own bonfire and fireworks in the garden and had oven-baked potatoes that had fabulous crispy skins for bonfire night. I think of those times far more fondly than the displays I've been to since.
As we got older, we played Ducky Apple on Bonfire Night.

Holidays
Holidays to our grandparents, who lived near the seaside every year.

Siblings taking it in turns to be buried on the beach with only our heads showing.

Sandsastle competitions.

Every week for the country thing? Once a month, fine. But every week?? Ain't nobody got time for that!

We have:

If at the seaside:
(In winter) we eat our chips on the seawall, watching the waves.
Look for a stone with a hole in it.
Get a treat from baker's to eat on the way home.
Build a sandcastle that DH will throw rocks at. When DS was younger he'd have great fun collecting sandcastle stones

Easter: I hide a little bunny rabbit keyring somewhere unusual. When it's found the "winner" gets a little chocolate. Has been in the fridge, in the loo roll tube, on top of a wardrobe, behind the TV, taped to bottom of a kitchen chair. The chocolate prize is guarded in a little closing bunny rabbit egg cup holder thing, that DS won when he was about 4, which sits in top of the microwave. Sometimes it has taken a fair few days to be found

When we visit DHs parents, we stop at Super Sausage, and have brunch, DS used to love the motorbikes.

Christmas: read/listen to a book and eat the special tree chocolate in an unusual place. DS has sat in the bath, under the kitchen table, in the car, laid under his bed, in the cat basket, in a wardrobe, on the middle stair, all sorts.

Ongoing. Hide the ladybird between DH and DS. There's a little rubber ladybird that DS had when he was wee. It now gets moved around a lot. So DS will put in DHs coat pocket, he'll find it at some point, he'll hide it in DS's sock drawer, he'll then find it and hide it in DHs car, it then might move to DS swimming bag etc.... They've been doing this for YEARS, sometimes not finding it for weeks and weeks. Somehow, they've never lost the "Muriel". Occasionally I will find it and am always tempted to move it!

If we go to Harvester, we all order for each other.

Errmmmmmm I think that's it?

My DC are 5 and 2 and I've found that we have certain traditions that have developed almost organically over time. I've probably tried to do a lot more but only some have stuck due to DC's level of engagement (not to mention DH's!).

• we eat a family meal together on Saturday and Sunday (we can't for the rest of the week due to work)
• Saturday night is movie night - we have popcorn and watch a film together
• we visit the same Santa each year and do a Christmas Eve box with Christmas pj's, slippers in etc
• 'visitors' in the form of the elf on the shelf, the tooth fairy, Easter bunny, Santa always leave a letter or a poem addressed to the DC thanking them for whatever it is they've done and situation dependent what we're proud of them for (I like writing otherwise this one could be a bit of a pain)

There may be others I can't bring to mind but these probably give a bit of a flavour of them

These weren't planned they just became :

We always have a Colin the Caterpillar cake for our birthdays - all of us - DH, me and DS

On his birthday DS gets to choose whatever he wants for breakfast - he also gets to choose dinner / where we go out to for dinner that night

Pantomime - usually go opening night (sadly cancelled due to Covid )

Christmas lunch - DS is only child surrounded by adults and we usually have fish starter - when he was little he asked if he could have chocolate spread sandwich instead so we did - it was Christmas Day after all - so I made him one - cut it into small canapé squares and dusted with edible glitter -he loved it so much that he always insists on it each year - he tells me it's "tradition" - I vary the glitter !

We collect magnets from our travels/days out. It's so fun to see them on the fridge and reminisce.

Measure heights on their birthday so they can see how much they've grown. I know in movies/tv they have them marked on the wall, but you can buy height charts to avoid that/take with you if you move.

Get the kids into the habit of making cards for each other/family on special occasions.

Kid's choice. The kids get to plan out a day of activities once a year.

Get into decorating the house for holidays, birthdays, celebrations. It doesn't have to cost a lot, but it definitely helps set the mood.

Thought of another - we have sparklers on our birthdays in the evening ,also do sparklers on NYE

On NYE we do a hand linked selfie

On a couple of the Saturdays in December we have party bits for dinner with Christmas paper plates and napkins and then we all put PJs on (including the grown ups, which the kids think is hilarious) and get in the car and drive round the part of town that is renowned for National Lampoon style Christmas outdoor lights. The kids love watching them through the windows, we all ooh and aaah and then we come home for desserty bits (usually hot chocolate, Christmas biscuits and yule log). We start it early-ish as it gets dark early, but the DC think it's amazing and a super late night.

Even DH who normally would roll his eyes at stuff like that loves it - and somehow it seems to stave off some of the Christmas anticipation / minimises the whole 'is it Christmas yet' stuff because we're doing fun bits along the way.

We also live close to the coast so often do an early Sunday morning walk by the beach.Started when DD was a baby that woke up at 4am and DH and I would walk her along in the pram, chatting about life, but as they've got older we take a thermos of coffee for the grown ups and hot chocolate for the kids (hot chocolate is a recurring theme) and chocolate brioche for everyone. We go year round, just in more layers in the winter and with bucket and spades in the summer. Even now the kids are bigger it's still a 6am type thing but we're ok with that - eventually they'll start sleeping later, right?!

Also, the DC are obsessed with Variety cereal boxes. We only buy them for holidays / hotel trips so they are treated with maximum excitement.

Hmmm, I feel like we need to upgrade traditions!

When we were little, my parents used to take us to the local town in December for a fun meal (pizza or we had this American diner type place which we loved) which was always a treat as we didn’t eat out much. We’d then to for a walk around the town to look at all the Christmas lights and at the Christmas displays in the department store windows.

We didn’t have many traditions in our family but I always treasured this and I am planning to do this with my children when they’re old enough.

I love hearing about other people’s traditions.

Agree with an earlier poster that events in the calendar is a really easy way to start.

• pancake day

• Easter - Where I live for example there’s a traditional Easter walk that many local people do, ending up in a local pub garden with music etc. Easter egg hunts (around the house is fine if no garden) with those little foil wrapped eggs.

• if you’re in the countryside there are loads of town festivals etc or old traditions eg look at all these for August alone calendarcustoms.com/august/

• we used to have a midsummer party to celebrate the longest day (ie latest staying up!)

And so on.

As a tiny kid there were set days when I’d see certain relatives and do things with them eg “on Saturdays I go to grandpas and do painting”, I still treasure the memories of those times and I learnt a lot.

Sunday mornings everyone into mum and dad’s bed and chat/hang out while they had coffee.

We do a ‘cinema night’ on a Saturday where DD stays up later than normal and we watch a film with the lights out with popcorn. It used to be quite as hoc Saturdays but lockdown made it every week.

I use the calender as well and try to celebrate everything, ie pancake day, Easter, Halloween, bonfire night, Christmas. Each birtbday we make a big deal out of as well and decorate the house etc. When your dc gets to toddler age lots of soft plays have events for things like Halloween and Christmas as well so you can use those to get them excited. I want my dd to remember the good times we had as a family when she was young and not the things she had