To stay away from my best friend

[Cassavaflower]

Hello,
I did a whole thread on this back in December but to cut a long story I am 50 and was enthralled by a 34-year-old at work. Several months later we are talking about marriage, he has told his family about me and I've told my grown up son. I couldn't be happier with him.
However, my best friend, who was v supportive at the beginning, is now sending me nasty messages.
We live a few hours apart so haven't seen each other since before Covid but she has twice called me a bitch and said I had "dropped her" since meeting my man.
No I haven't.
She used to call me every day for an hour to talk about the same things I wanted to support her. But then I got busy with work and I explained that.
Last night she started sending nasty messages so I blocked her temporarily because I was out and didn't want her abuse all night but now I don't want to unblock.
We have known each other for years.
I never expected this from her. I know she is having a hard time but she is being a total brat.
Am I wrong to cut her off?
She never apologises for her behaviour and she is drinking heavily thanks to lockdown which never seems to end.

No, you aren't. Nobody has the right to a place in your life.
If someone is being abusive, why the hell would you volunteer to continue to be their victim and call it friendship?

Well, maybe she’s worried about you? Because in December it was a workplace crush, and despite there being the hiatus of lockdown in the middle — and the fact that you were on a Muslim dating site talking to another man you were considering meeting in June — Now you’re talking about marriage?

If she was worried about me she would say so. She wouldn't do this Jekyll and Hyde thing where she attacks me when she's drunk.
Or should I assume she is concerned but suddenly can't express herself succinctly?

Calling you a bitch?!

She is no friend. I would block her permanently and end the friendship. That is a disgraceful way to talk to a friend. If she was worried there are other ways of communicating that!

Be happy and go and get married op!

Your friend was happy when all attention was on her, less happy now you have a life of your own. Good luck

No one has the right to abuse you. Drunk or otherwise, so you have a right to stop engaging,

I’d be cautious though, suspect you’ll need all the friends you can get soon enough,

I would be very wary of any man who is so desperate to marry that it pops up within 1 year of dating. Rose tinted glasses and all that ...

Me and my husband also talked marriage in the first year but it was just talks of yes in the future i see it getting there ..

although yes i would drop the friend

Sounds like she’s jealous and struggling to control it- has she been like this with anything in the past? She sounds quite troubled. I agree that you shouldn’t put up with abuse, but maybe if she’s your best friend she needs a bit of time and space (and distance, perhaps temporary) rather than to be ‘cut off’. Have you asked her directly to stop sending you nasty messages and explained how they’re making you feel?

Hi
Yes I have told her and she listened but its like she can't help lashing out if she is in a bad mood. She will criticise everything about me until she needs me. If she is busy with her other friends then I don't hear from her but when they are busy she picks me up again and might be nice or she might be hyper critical depending on her mood. But the evening calls are the worst, when she has had a drink.
When she is not drinking and on an even keel she is lovely but I don't want to be her punch bag. When I told her how I felt she was quiet.
I shouldn't have to walk on eggshells with my best mate.

@TheGirlWithAPrince

I would be very wary of any man who is so desperate to marry that it pops up within 1 year of dating. Rose tinted glasses and all that ...

Me and my husband also talked marriage in the first year but it was just talks of yes in the future i see it getting there ..

I bet you don't know how to spell contradiction.

She said they're talking about marriage, how is that any different to what you and your now husband did?

Quick update. She called me last night, very defensive to start off with and still angry saying she was being neglected. I explained how I felt and said I was close to cutting her off as she had been rude to me for months.
She admitted she had been lashing out at her other friends too.
She is going for counselling and she is going to try to give up the booze.
We had a lovely chat this morning and she sounds like my best friend again.
Thanks to everyone who replied.