Why do people insist on calling you a name you didn't give them when you introduced yourself to them?

[CandyLeBonBon]

I'm fairly sure I'm being precious but this really bugs me and I really wish it didn't.

If I introduced myself to you as (for example) Barbara, and every time I see you I subsequently always introduce myself as Barbara, and if I ever sign off emails, I always sign off as Barbara, would you, without invitation, simply decide to call me Babs?

Even if I answer phone calls as Barbara (and never ever ever refer to myself as Babs because I have always hated the name Babs and really don't think it suits me)?

If you've only ever heard that my name is Barbara, would you shorten it to Babs?

Am I being totally unreasonable for having the complete rage that a relative stranger can't or won't call me by the name I was introduced to them as?

She's a client so not someone I feel I could easily correct without awkwardness.

For what it's worth, she likes to be called a male, shortened version of her actual female name (think Will, instead of Wilhelmina - for all Enid Blyton/Mallory Towers fans out there!) and I've always respected that and wouldn't dream of doing otherwise.

Am I frothing unnecessarily or would it give you the rage too?

Please give me perspective. I'm entirely too annoyed right now (I realise I probably need a hobby)

Sorry, you are NOT being unreasonable at all, but I am so guilty of this it is awful. Although I am more likely to call someone sausage etc

Sorry

YANBU it's your name

If that ever happens to me I correct them straight away and tell them I don't like it.

@chickenyhead sausage I can handle!!! It's bizarre isn't it!

Call her Willi and never ever stop.

@Anordinarymum I missed that boat because we were in a meeting and now she insists in calling me Babs even though she had never once heard me referred to as Babs.

I feel Like Chandler from Friends!!!

I don't know if its a London thing or just my blurt when nervous. It gets worse if I focus on it. Sausage is so much more simple

But yes, they should respect your name and one correction is enough

you can't correct a client or they'll get the hump and be off, taking their business elsewhere.
this will be noticed by boss and not help your career.
or else if self-employed simply lose you money and further opportunities through the humped-off one bad-mouthing you to all and sundry.
don't do it.
it's not a social relationship. what does it matter. if it really bothers you so much maybe you are in the wrong type of job.

It’s actually a pet hate of mine when someone insists on giving me a nickname within seconds of meeting me.

It sounds pedantic but I actually ask people with shorten-able names what they like to be called (unless they’ve done intros), and particularly if I’ve heard different people use different diminutives... like if someone is Jonathan but called Jon, Jonny etc by others. It’s also very annoying when colleagues decide to give you a nickname to new starters in introductions... Hence why I check before using.

It might be unreasonable, but it gives me the rage too. Why can’t people just use your name instead of faux buddy nicknames you didn’t ask for??? And breathe

frankly some of you sound like schoolgirls, flouncing.
this is the business world.
it's shark eats shark.
if that's all you've got to complain about, it's not very much. get real.
if you can't stand the heat, tepid though it be, get out of the kitchen.

frankly some of you sound like schoolgirls, flouncing.

And the Talk Guidelines unfortunately restrain me from saying what you sound like.

YANBU but I am guilty of shortening names! I wouldn’t do it if someone asked me not to though! My neighbour is called Alexandra and I have to try really hard not to call her Alex even though I know she always uses her full name!

I wonder if, in the OP's example, the client has a friend or relative who likes to be known as Babs, so that name just comes naturally for the client to say?

I'll give you a laugh though. I've got a fairly new neighbour who does this. He's a really genuinely lovely bloke and great neighbour, but everyone gets their name shortened by him, whether you like it or not (I don't mind, personally, I'm known by various shorter versions of my name by friends and family.)

I couldn't wait to introduce him to my friend Zoe, I'd pre-warned her and was thinking to myself "ha, let's see you shorten THAT!" - he called her Zo-zo, so she got her name lengthened 😂.

@alexdgr8 the eighties are calling - apparently you're late for your tea pet!

@chickenyhead 😂

It's a power thing - pure and simple. The ol' I have power / authority over you and I'll call you what I like. They think they have a claim over you

With a client it's a tricky one to manage. Are you ever with your manager when you meet the client? Could you ask them to says something like - Babs, who the fuck is Babs. This is Barbara.

With the neighbour - well there's the passive aggressive renaming of him or you can ignore him when he calls you it. Alternatively you could ask him to call you by the name you want. And revert to PA of he doesn't.

Basically they're are not doing it to be friendly.

I couldn't resist correcting her, even if it is a client. Politely of course, since I'd want to stay professional. But it's such a manipulative mindgame and I'd want to make it clear I'm not playing.

YANBU even more irritating is when they ask to be called by their full name, whilst shortening yours! grr!

It's very annoying. I suggest you remind her that it's an equal relationship and butcher her name too, since she's happy to make it an informal one.

@alexdgr8

you can't correct a client or they'll get the hump and be off, taking their business elsewhere. this will be noticed by boss and not help your career. or else if self-employed simply lose you money and further opportunities through the humped-off one bad-mouthing you to all and sundry. don't do it. it's not a social relationship. what does it matter. if it really bothers you so much maybe you are in the wrong type of job.

Any client that takes their business elsewhere because you politely ask them to use the correct name is surely such a nightmare client that you wouldn't want their business anyway. If they take the hump over that I can only imagine they'd also be the sort who would change their demands half a dozen times then want to pay the original price even though the work has changed, only pay their invoice when you start threatening legal action, then knock themselves off a hefty discount when they actually pay.

I get this ALL the time. I've never introduced myself as the shortened version but get it constantly. I too feel like Chandler and will be stuck with it forever.