To want to say "well, it serves them right"

[emsiewill]

Some of you may have heard about this when it happened a couple of weeks ago. 5 people were killed; 3 out of the 4 boys in the car that was driving the wrong way down the M4, and 2 innocent people who were just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Today the funeral took place of one of the boys. There is no question that these were generally not nice people. They were well known around here, and not for good reasons. The driver of the car had only just got out of prison for a similar offence.

If this was my child, of course I would be devasatated, but I would not have a funeral involving a horse drawn hearse fgs. Why would you want to draw attention to yourselves at this time? The way some people around here have been talking about these boys makes it sound like they were killed in some sort of tragic accident, not killed because of their own recklessness. There were floral tributes for them placed on the bridge above the motorway ffs

The wake for this boy has been going on across the road from my house since 4ish. The police have been to the pub about 5 times. They are obviously expecting trouble. And to be honest I feel like going across the road and telling these people my views in no uncertain terms.

AIBU?

I must say that I am NOT a DM reader, and hate the fact that this is making me feel / sound like one...

At least we're not spending umpty thrumpty millions of tax payer's money on an inquest....

I feel vague sorrow for their families, but having just come back from Ireland after the funeral of the elderly couple they killed to be honest I have absolutely no sympathy for the three youths killed. I have never seen a funeral in Ireland like the one last Wednesday, virtually the whole island was there and all I feel sorry for is the four children of the couple, their own brother and sisters still living and the elderly mother mourning her son. I hope the survivor of the crash wakes in the middle of the night in horror of what was done.

I'm not sure what's happened to the survivor, but sadly, from what I've seen of these people, he'll probably be trying to sue the police as soon as he's fit...

emswiewill, if I have read the thread title correctly, then I don't believe you are being unreasonable.

Your thoughts are against the perpetrators of the ctime, not the parents or relatives.

I believe it is a crime, to cause, by your actions the death or maiming of another person.

glasshouse

Having read rest of the thread I can understand your OP a little better emsiewill - I wouldn't want to live amongst the people that you are saddled with....sorry that somebody as decent and intelligent as you has to put up with such an environment

You (you and everyone in the area that you live) could all take this opportunity to "clean up" the area!?

I know it is easier said than done, but think ahead to the future, if no-one does, then the next article could feature your children's names either as the victims or the ones causing the accident.

How would you feel if it was your children? ashamed? would you not give them a funeral (even if you were really, really angry with them for being so utterly stupid to do something that insane and pointless) so that you could say a final goodbye to them?

I understand you feeling that they themselves did not deserve a big send off but could you find solace in the fact that the only thing they are getting out of their grand send off is a cold and dark grave?

at being called "decent and intelligent"

To be honest, it's not so bad round here, we've lived here for 10 years now, and I have no wish to move away from S Wales, (in fact dh is embarking on a project which will invest a lot of money in the area ). I don't suppose it's any different round here from a lot of fairly deprived areas around Britain...just makes me sad mostly. Last night I was just riled by the "event" that was being made out of this awful disaster.

If a child living in flats played with some matches set the place on fire and killed 2 other innocent people would you say they shouldn't have a decent funeral for him ?

Of course yabu funerals are more for the family of the deceased then the deceased themselves or just because their sons were reckless should they be denied the chance to say aproper goodbye.

If it were my child(ren) I would be devestated, heartbroken, angry, ashamed, of course, but I am sure I would be horrified if I thought people were "sanctifying" them.

I wouldn't have a horse drawn hearse, but then I wouldn't have one for any funeral, not my sort of thing...I would of course want a send off for them, but I wouldn't turn it into a show.

I think that most of the people in the pub yesterday were probably not family of the boy anyway, they were all young, so probably friends and "associates". I'm sure the family are devestated, as I have said.

Can I just try and make it as clear as possible that I have never said that the family shouldn't have a funeral...

I think that is quite clear emsiewill and I totally see the points you have made on here. And I can also understand how split you feel between your feelings regarding this and your usual lefty-liberal tendencies.

I can understand the anger at them and the parents probably feel it too but tbh like anothe poster said it was probably a load of their mates meeting in the pub

nope, they sound like scum and i completely agree with you they deserved exactly what they got, in fact they probably got off light as they deserved to suffer first before death for what they did.
of course their family are upset but by the sounds of it they don't seem like angels by any means so any voicing of opinion to themn or their ilk will just end up with you being a victim. much better to hold your tongue and maintain your dignity and safety.