To tell her in no uncertain terms to stop bloody calling

[Silencemode]

A member of my family is blowing up my mobile phone umpteen times a day for virtually no reason other than wanting to get me on the end of the phone to chat. I will say that MH are involved so as not to drip feed.

To give you an idea of the volume of calls I'll attatch a screen shot of how many there has been since just 11pm last night. Yep 11pm she called me when I was getting in from an extremely rare evening out with DH and preparing for bed.

I answered one of the calls today incase something was wrong and there wasn't.

I've just been napping on the sofa whilst DH prepares tea im not a drinker so after 4 or 5 drinks last night I'm feeling hungover and she called me again, waking me up after 10 minutes.

It's putting me in a bad mood. I keep in touch regularly, I just don't want to talk about what I'm having for my dinner or what I'm watching on tv 5+ times a day.

She isn't lonely she has alot of company and I do keep in touch. I went to see her on Sunday and stayed a few hours.

WIBU at this stage to outright say stop bloody calling my damn phone?!

• MH problems involved

Block her number. She can't call you, but you can still call her to keep in touch.

Have you asked them to call less?

If you answered and chatted for half an hour would that be the end of it or would she call the same number of times?

Maybe give some clear boundaries of what you’re willing to accept? E.g. look, x I can’t take this many phone calls in a day, I have other things to do. I can do one call on Monday evening and one on Thursday evening. We can catch up at those times. I’m sure you understand. Love Silence.

Block the number on your phone. You can unblock whenever you like and it'll give you a break. Sounds like she wouldn't listen if you told her to stop anyway.

I've been reluctant to block just incase there were a crisis but I think I'm going to do just that for a few days / a week.

I have asked her to call less before yes, it goes in one ear and out of the other.

If she's not asking me to look something up on the internet for her she's wanting to talk about what each of us is having for tea, what we're watching on TV etc. Its all very pointless.

I wouldn’t block. I would refuse to engage. I would agree when I would call them and if they rang at other times I would say it’s not convenient because of “x”. But remind them I was calling them on a particular day.
It may be pointless to you. But it isn’t to them.

put your phone on silent

after the 2nd call, TEXT back and say, is something wrong?

keep doing this

If there's MH issues involved then I wouldn't block but just ignore the calls and hope she gets the message.

Or you can say I can't talk on the phone right now can you text instead - and then hopefully she will get into the habit of texting when you don't answer and you can slowly stop replying to those too!

I feel your frustration op!

We got an answer phone when my severely mentally ill mil was at her worst. I know this is probably on your mobile, but I would do whatever the equivalent on a mobile is.

Thank you for the replies, all very good suggestions.

I don't mean to sound uncaring but it can be alot to deal with. I have a young family and alot on my plate at the moment. I always stay in touch but the sheer volume just isn't sustainable for me.

I used to always do as suggested above, whenever I missed a call i would text and say is everything ok, can't take a call right now.

Have told her many times I prefer texts but she disregards that.

It doesn't help matters that she has a new phone and doesn't know how to text on it yet so the calls have ramped up.

I have a relative very much like that. Clear boundaries needed eg we will talk on Wednesdays and Tuesdays at 10:00 for 15 minutes. Or whatever your tolerance is.
May it it clear you will not answer at other times. Stick to it. Put your phone in mute. Good luck

It would be helpful to know the relationship of the caller and his/her age.

It's my aunt, in her late fifties. I posted about her last week actually as I was worried she was off her meds and the whole thing was making me anxious.

I'm late 20's, with two small children.

I thought you were going to say an elderly relative.

Can you set her number so you don’t get notifications? I’ve got an iPhone and I’ve set mine to silent and turned off the vibrate. Any calls and messages just come up on the screen, they don’t make a noise.

Not elderly no, if I didn't know her I'd have guessed she's even younger.

I'm not sure but I will have a look, thanks MsAdora

I have a Samsung so will check how to do that/if I can.

I’m sure that I remembered the post. Her meds are needed for her mental stability?
If you can contact her GP that might help. They won’t be able to discuss anything but if you insist on giving them information then at leat it will be logged.
You have my sympathies.

Thank you 1more

Her meds are needed for stability yes and she's not taking them as required, she's only taking the morning dose and not the later ones. AFAIK.

I spoke with her MH team last week and they said to leave it with them but I can contact the GP too if they'll be able to advise.

Boundaries. Explain, firmly, that you will only answer one call a day, and at x time, and be available to speak for y amount of time. Once a week/ fortnight, you'll have time for a longer call. If there is an emergency before that time, text you and you'll see it straight away. Explain that you will not be answering any calls out with this, as you have other things to do, and stuck to this. See if maybe that helps.