Just what the title says and i am really grieving on what could have been a nice bond ☹️
I know shes been restricted all her life(no education,no life basically outside marriage) and she really pushed me to study be independent and i am glad she did that..
But it feels like it comes with a catch! Few things that i'll add here
She completely controlled my wedding prep and i had to put my foot down and she laments even today! (Geez its been 8 years and i have 2 kids now)
When i was pregnant and really sick she came over to UK to help me but here goes: if in any way i dont see her point something in my kitchen gets broken(or thats how i see it and find out things broken here and there after she leaves. This is only mu guess as ive seen her react that way with my dad)
DH had really good bond with my mum but he seems to see shes being a child sometimes when shes insists on coming to the labor room. My first child is a preemie and needed steroid injection to get his lungs developed fast (i told this to my folks on the phone and my mum was like nooo its dangerous tell doctor not to do it 🙄)
With my second child i had a scheduled section and the day before her concern was to boycot the chicken dinner DH made because he didnt want me to eat a not fully cooked chicken that my mum made! She made a mistake but shed rather take revenge than acknowledge! The day before our child was being born.
It all sounds a bit petty but theres huge list of things(she invited my brother and his wife to stay over when I was sick with HG and DH was full time work and looking after out child) and checked with us AFTER she did because chances are we wont say NO. But i did and she sulked several days for that.
Its exhausting that whenever she visits(her decision i dont ask for help, she wants to stay woth DC) i have to watch out for hidden agendas whenever ste brings up a subject something it feels none comes from heart.
Dont get me wrong, i have placed her where she should be with regards to my life but I do feel I am missing out a bond that should have been there. Well, she still thinks her mum-daughter bond is stronger than any other lol. I see sometimes she gets irritated when DH goes over and beyond to care for me and our children 🤷🏽♀️ sometimes i think shes crazy