Who is BU about annoying noise?

[FuckBubbleOrBubbleFuck]

In true time honoured MN fashion I'm using A and B and not saying which one I am as I don't want to influence it...

Person A has recently added skipping to their already extensive fitness regime. Person B is being slowly driven mad by the sound of A skipping - a really fucking annoying rhythmic thud thud thud on the floor for an hour, with breaks and then different thudding rhythms for different jumping styles. Thudding can be heard anywhere in the house (luckily not in neighbouring houses) and music etc doesn't cover it as it's a fucking vibrating thing that is like the fucking canon gun in Mary Poppins. Sometimes there is the sound of swearing if the rope is being a fucking wanker and tangling. Skipping cannot be done outside. Person A loves skipping and believes B is unreasonable for the following reasons

B has a sewing machine which makes a pleasant soothing low hum. This hum can stop and start as material is moved around and threads changed etc in the productive useful hobby of making useful things. The machine is thoughtfully situated on a cloth on the table which reduces vibration. A vibrating noise can very occasionally be heard when the cat runs under the table and the foot pedal is accidentally pushed all the way down in surprise. This may be followed by quiet swearing but at a lower volume than B and more inventively eg you fuckknuckle which provides pleasant entertainment for others.

B also feels that their labour is more productive as they make attractive garments and face masks (for the benefit of society) whereas the outcome of A's labour is mostly looking in the mirror and asking B if they can see the change in the shape of their such and such muscle. This also takes B's time away from sewing or thinking about sewing. Also one time B caught A measuring their legs with B's tape measure as they believed one calf was bigger than the other.

Which one do people think is being unreasonable here? I hope I've made it clear that I have been completely neutral.

Just in case, if people say B is unreasonable and A is right, I'm only asking for a friend who doesn't have a MN account

Naked skipping

A would probably think it would be unreasonable to share that the issue of floppage has already been raised and selflessly they gave B a demonstration which afforded B much amusement. B generously purchased something called compression shorts (although thinking about it now B should have sewed the shorts!)

This is easily solved. As a 8 year old no one could outskip me, I could even do the jump in jump out 2 skipping ropes this so that established my skipping expert credentials.

There is a skip related noise by the amateur skipper. The rope should never hit the ground and the skipper should be on their toes and not thudding or they are doing it wrong and their calves will never be the right size. Also they should sing a song because otherwise your just jumping about. Direct A to YouTube videos of boxers skipping or indeed to the nearest 8 year old who is deceptively light on their feet.

In fact thinking it all over, the demonstration of naked skipping was probably totally worth every second of thud induced rage. Perhaps B should ask for another one.

B should murder A for the crime of calling them jump ropes. That’s a more heinous crime than the noise.

Excellent use of the word floppage there OP

Skipping inside! Consider the skipping rope in a new light as possible strangulation tool.

A has also tried various mats and many many different techniques to minimise noise including one handed jumping or something. He has shared this extensively with B including trying to show B lots of videos of Americans shouting about the greatest jump rope to use.

B loves that everyone is totally ignoring the sewing machine noise in their rush to encourage A to strangle B with one of his own fucking ropes.

Floppage not envy

Did someone seriously suggest this situation would be eased by DH adding singing into the mix

Bugger I mean A.

Assuming this isn't a reverse A woman in possession of a sewing machine will never need a husband and is always in possession of a very very sharp pair of scissors usually labelled these are my fabric scissors use them and I will cut you ........

I am wondering if B could sew a facemask with a gagging capability and use the "jump ropes" to tie A to a chair and introduce the new mask design to him until he agrees no more skipping indoors. I am sure the quiet hums of the sewing machine will drown out the sound of muffled protests and muffled winces of pain as the cat tries out its new very well shaped calf looking scratching post.

Failing that, get the sewing machine on a wonky table, seated on a tray full of stones or similar for maximum rattleage and have Dcat control the foot pedal at all times... should drown out the thud thud thud thud

one hour a day, during the day? I would say Person A is being Unreasonable unless it's very early in the morning when A is trying to sleep

@FuckBubbleOrBubbleFuck

Bugger I mean A.

😂

So basically the general gist of the thread is to tie A to a chair with one of his skipping ropes, then beat him with another skipping rope whilst encouraging the cat to run up some additional skipping ropes on the sewing machine so we can beat him some more.

That sounds like a good way to spend Monday afternoon!

Tuesday even.

B has a sewing machine which makes a pleasant soothing low hum

😂😂😂😂

A is a PITA.
B, you should sew day and night until he stops bloody skipping.

@FuckBubbleOrBubbleFuck they are JUMP ropes 🙄

Skipping is really annoying. Earlier in the summer every one of my fucking neighbours was doing it.

Might B point out to A that they key with skipping is to land as lightly as possible, almost silently? Otherwise muscles aren't toned as effectively and joints at risk of injury which would interrupt exercise regime and make looking in the mirror less fun. Lightly, on the toes.

@FatCatThinCat

Can the skipping ropes be fashioned into a noose? Do that.

@OhCaptain

B is a queen and A is a fuckknuckle.

I hope that hasn’t upset you if you’re A, OP.

I agree with this.

I would burn the skipping rope.

Skipping is annoying, but the sound of my sewing machine annoys me, and I’m the one using it.

You are both BU to make the noise, but you’re both going to have to live with it.

Sew the ends of his stupid skipping rope together?

What does the cat think to the skipping?