To be terrified about the schools being back (Scotland)

[Kaylasmum53]

Our schools went back last week, my daughter is in S6 and my dd is in S2 although due to severe school anxiety and possible ASD he only attends school an hour a day with myself and a support teacher present.

The last two days when I have dropped my dd off I have been shocked to see the large groups of children congregating in the school grounds, absolutely no social distancing at all. There has been new coronavirus cases in my town at 2 schools and I am really starting to worry. I have severe health anxiety and have been struggling massively with all of this, I even took unpaid leave from my work for three months as I am so scared of my family catching the virus. I am overweight and prone to chest infections and feel that if I catch it I would become very ill.

Anyone have any words of wisdom to stop me panicking?

Sorry you are worrying. I think it is understandable that your health anxiety is heightened at this time. The fact that you feel very anxious doesn't make you any more at risk than the next parent who feels fine.

Do you feel happy with the school's arrangements, and can you speak with the school, perhaps alerting the head to the lack of social distancing etc.?

I have spoken to the school but they say that they can only advise social distancing not enforce it. They have sanitising stations in every classroom which is great but that doesn't really stop transmission through the air when they are all so close together.

It's very difficult. Do you know any other parents you can chat to?

I have spoken to the mum of one of my dd's friends and she feels the same as me but we don't want to obstruct our DC's learning and it would be unfair of me to ask my dd to stay home.

Kids outdoors are extremely unlike to be passing on the virus. That's why masks are only mandatory in indoor environments. Presumably when they are in classrooms, there is some distancing happening.

Indoors there really isn't much social distancing unfortunately, I have seen a class where the children are barely a metre apart.

There is significant evidence pointing to children being low risk. We are going to have to get used to the schools being back - it’s far better for the children overall than staying home. I thought Scottish under-11s didn’t need to SD - it was that Wales?

It is Scotland - primary children don’t need to SD inside schools.

Unless your children or yourself are high risk YABU.

This isn't a Covid issue. This is an anxiety issue and the Covid is just the "hook" for your worries.

See your GP, ask to be referred for CBT, or access to an online package. Maybe medication.

I understand why you're anxious. I'm also a bit overweight at the moment, which is a bit of a worry!

For me, it comes down to having only two choices; send them in or deregister and homeschool. I don't want to homeschool; I am not knowledgeable or skilled enough to teach a primary ages child and dc needs to interact with peers at school. I have a very sociable dc, which doesn't bode well if we were to homeschool at the moment, when many activities aren't open. It would almost be better homeschooling in non covid times tbh! But there we are.

Could you try some CBT techniques or books maybe to help you manage your anxiety?

If you are overweight and have health anxiety, have you spent lockdown working on trying to lose some weight? That is probably among the most effective things you can do to protect yourself. I know that
is really really hard, but if you are this worried, it might help you feel less anxious if you can reduce a risk factor?

I acknowledge that my anxiety is a problem but as I have already stated I am very overweight which seems to be a significant factor on how ill you may become if you contract the virus, I am also prone to bronchitis.

I have been trying to lose wait but I have a condition called lipoedema which makes it very difficult.

The thing is, it isn't actually a significant factor. Even if you're very overweight if you have no other conditions your risk of serious illness is only a tiny bit more than someone who is a healthy weight with no underlying conditions.

Our kids have been back at school since May in Australia and only a few kids have caught it and it’s been fine.

Covid is just the "hook"

Hmm, in a way, but covid isn't an invention nor is it benign so also, not entirely.

The issue with health anxiety is it is usually seated in understandable concerns. I think the op is being very responsible trying to think this through.

These are tough times.

I agree talking to a counsellor or perhaps CBT might help.

@Ozgirl75

Our kids have been back at school since May in Australia and only a few kids have caught it and it’s been fine.

Do they have any SD in schools in Australia?

Nope, no social distancing at all.

The things that are different over here are:
No camps, no choir, no wind band. They take their temp in the morning and they sanitise hands. Send them home if they have any sign of a cold.

What are you doing about your anxiety?

What have you been doing to lose the extra weight? As this may also help ease the anxiety.

Sorry, read back my message and it sounds flippant. I can understand your concerns, but all children in all of Australia went back in May. Schools in Melbourne are currently shut because they are in lockdown but even when they were getting hundreds of cases per day there was only one high school with a few dozen cases and all were fine.

I think, after just doing a teeny tiny amount of research online on lipoedema, you're probably going to have to really fight for getting effective treatment.

What's tye weather like in oz?
The virus thrives in the cold and is weaker in warm weather.
Op I hear you. The thing is it's natural to feel anxious, we are in a pandemic and dc are not allowed to wear any ppe at all.

Seems crazy to me.
But you can't control it. All you can do is make your home as safe as possible.
Dc wash hands on entering, perhaps change clothes? Lots of showers.
Get yourself prepared for illness, have medication in house... 2 weeks basic food stocks.... Etc.

Aside from pulling them out we can't do anything. I keep saying it but I cannot fathom why visors at the very least are not used.