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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Fuming is a understatement!

6 replies

oldstudentmum · 17/08/2020 19:26

Exh is a narc lovely to coparent with (not). There is a cao in place. I’m in clinically vulnerable group, and have been told because of drug I take still keep as much as possible to shielding. Ex took our children to another house for lunch with 3 separate households in a small flat! Not outside No garden. People around children in direct violation to court order and area they should not be in also on court order.
He did not ask or tell me after he had dropped them back. I have taken the lockdown hard I’m mentally exhausted. Haven’t seen friends etc missed my grandmother 90th. This final thing after many weeks of him pushing his luck I snapped (after sinking a third of a bottle of red wine) sent totally ranting texts. I broke down in tears of frustration and anger at his total disregard for the children and myself. I’m really FKED off with his superiority complex. He is a W*Ker. Of course he will twist anything now into ‘using them as weapons’. I don’t know what to do he is awful to deal with. FWIW he had not seen them for almost 6 months due to his behaviour prior to April and I had his assurance that it would be just him and he would stick to guidance.

OP posts:
2beesornot2beesthatisthehoney · 17/08/2020 19:56

Don't have advice OP but bumping up in the hope you can get some advice and give you Flowers

TeddyIsaHe · 17/08/2020 20:02

He’s doing this to get a rise out of you. You need to detach completely and do not give him a single reaction.

I know you’re scared, because he’s a fucking knob and putting you at risk, but he’s doing this because he KNOWS it scares you.

You need to get in touch with a solicitor and go through the court order and work out how to protect yourself from now on.

GabsAlot · 17/08/2020 20:21

go back to court hes an arsehole

oldstudentmum · 18/08/2020 07:16

I've read some info on the cafcass website but also on judicial website for courts. Although they can maintain contact it does not say they must due to obviously some households having vulnerable members. If I reduce contact to FaceTime or at a distance outside and he threatens any action (which is highly unlikely he would carry through) I have the back up evidence that I was told to shield and furthermore a consultant has advised me to continue to do so as much as possible and not to return to a workplace due to the type of drug I take.
He is so manipulative and twists things like oh the kids wanted to or I wasn't planning on it it just happened. Everything he does is planned. Like the meal my ex mil was there at the home of the ex gf ( children should not be there) it was a roast so planned not spontaneous ex mil doesn't live near so over a 40 min drive away.

OP posts:
oldstudentmum · 04/09/2020 05:25

He is now "stonewalling " brilliant. Got back to his old ways of just showing up ! I messaged him could he just text and could he confirm he would get the divorce in hand. NOTHING no reply 5 days ago. He had said previously he was getting a computer for eldest I just assumed being the other parent that I would get a text saying oh I'll be up such and such and take eldest etc no he just showed up during week right on when evening meal almost done!
He obviously doesnt want to co parent. So I'm going to have to say he is now not to set foot in the house, it makes me feel uncomfortable and angry that he feels he can just waltz in, and I'll have to tell kids I don't want him in house lovely I look the bad guy. I will not have someone who treats me with contempt and disregard being made to feel welcome in MY home.

OP posts:
slipperywhensparticus · 04/09/2020 05:34

Get a ring doorbell and be too busy to answer the door if he shows up

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