Toddler keeps hitting other children

[bigfalafel]

22 month old son. Keeps hitting other kids. I remove him from the situation when he does it and apologise. It's so hard to discipline a 1 year old without being too harsh but also letting him know he's done something wrong. I find it really embarrassing and feel like people look at me like a crap parent. Any tips? Is this normal?

Not easy and you are obviously doing your best with removing him.

Years ago I attended a toddler group and there was a child like this and the mum picked him up immediately and told him firmly "No hitting" and tied him into his buggy. He screamed blue murder and she and we just totally ignored him.

It took a few weeks but he got the message quickly enough.

She let him sit there for a good 15 minutes after he calmed down.

He was safe in the buggy and so were other children.

Some children hit. When parents ignore it, is when it pisses off other parents.

Firm, decisive action can help.

Also before you go somewhere, keep saying, no hitting.

He needs to get used to hearing that.

Hopefully it will pass soon.
It certainly will pass quicker with firm action.

Good luck!

It's unfortunately common but you're doing the right thing by dealing with it now rather than when he's older and others won't tolerate it.

You are dealing with it the right way. Is he at all verbal? If he is remind him to use his words - saying "no" if he's angry, saying "hi" if he wants attention etc If he's playing with similar aged children then they are likely to be equally "ant-social" and grabbing, not taking turns etc He needs to hear you say what he should say when he's more verbally confident.

My little girl did this too and i found if i couldn't trust her not to hit out, then having a break from situations like play dates/play groups was best until grown out of that stage. Taking to park only when quiet. It worked. She grew out of it. Literally would not hurt a fly now.

Ok having a toddler that hits is pot luck- just like if you have a bolter or a bad sleeper etc.
However your LO is nearer 2, its time to start to not just remove, but take them aside and firmly say “no nice hands”....closer to 2.5 I introduced the naughty step/ time outs for such behaviour

Watching with interest. Mine hit me twice this morning and I told him no hitting mummy cross and put him to bed.

It's so hard because he's also a fair bit behind with his speech and can't see a speech and language therapist until he's 2. He's frustrated a lot of the time. He's also not been around any other kids for the whole of lockdown until recently so it's a big change for him.

Likely over stimulated and overehelmed with more children around. Try Mr Tumbke sign language until you can see a speech therapist. Being understood on any level is a great frustration reducer in my experience. Mr Tumble really easy to learn for both of you.

Teach sign language if your kid is behind in speach. Teach them words like play.
Drink. Eat. Sleep. Tired. Scared. Like. More. Yes. No Etc

Did it with my dc worked a treat if they are behind in language but then still being able to make them selves heard

Mine had severe speech sound delay (Apraxia) and didn't hit. Don't use that as an excuse OP not needed.

@ILoveFood87

Mine had severe speech sound delay (Apraxia) and didn't hit. Don't use that as an excuse OP not needed.

Oh do go away.

How can you say in OPs case that her DS doesn't hit because he's frustrated?

Yes to sign language. But also yes to consequences. Removal from the activity and a 5 minute time out where he is ignored. Clear basic explanation “no hitting, it hurts, and makes people sad”. Lots of reminders before it happens. And most importantly be consistent.

I wouldn't be worried at this age, it's something a lot of children seen to go through. Just be clear and consistent with your approach. You say he is frustrated a lot of the time, so that probably doesn't help. At that age I would move him away, get down to his level, and explain that we don't hit even when frustrated. Explain he needs to get your attention when frustrated so you can deal with it together. Have you tried any signing with him?

I think you need to be a bit more of a helicopter parent, stay close and look for signs that he is going to start hitting and distract him or remove him.

Have you observed anything that starts him off?

You’re doing the right thing, it’s just something that some toddlers do! He is obviously frustrated and lashing out as they don’t yet have the capability to deal with their emotions. Carry on as you are and he’ll soon stop and develop another annoying habit . Other parents won’t mind as long as you’re dealing with it immediately.

Shadow him and watch for the moment before he hits. Odds are if you watch closely, there are clues. Then start intervening before he does it.

It sounds like you're doing the right things. At toddler groups I didn't mind children hitting if the parents moved them away etc. It was only annoying when the parents didn't do anything.