AIBU or can we do it all

[Howcanwedoitall]

Sitting here with 3 kids under 4. House a mess. I'm over Weight. Raining outside so we cant get out

How the hell do people raise well rounded kids while keeping a clean-ish house and have a healthy figure.

Do they or am I wanting too much????

I think a lot of the time women heralded as doing or having it all have help - whether that be nannies or cleaners or full-time childcare or super-involved grandparents - or indeed partners able to halve the household load.
At least, that's what I like to believe having none of the above...

I had 3 under 4. They're now 10, 12 and 14 and my life is much, much easier! Hang in there OP

We can have it all, with help...for example, without my cleaner my house would be a shit tip.
But why does rain prohibit going outside? Jackets on, off you go? No one's going yo melt as my grandma used to say.

Housework burns a surprising amount of calories.

Turn getting the kids to tidy up their toys etc into a game. Keeps them busy and helps clear up. Get the older one(s) to sweep - again, make it into a game. I remember being at mums and tots when I was small and we used to love racing up and down with the broom.

Surely ‘having it all’ includes a job as well?

But, three kids under 4 is your problem. When you have three kids under 10, it will be much easier to look after yourself and your home.

Declutter, have toy boxes in each room, have a cleaning schedule/routine.
Most of all - give yourself a break, 3 under 4 is no easy task at all. It is what it is, just know that it wont be like this forever. You can only do what you can.

@napmeistergeneral- have none of those mentioned unfortunately.

@RandomTree I cant wait for it to get easier

@Mylittlepony374 off to get the jackets thank you

@Lockheart I've just asked my 4 year old to clear up all the shit (toys) in the sitting room. He did it. Fair play to him

@NailsNeedDoing couldn't even imagine a job in the mix. How do women/men do it that work also. Heros

Right, come on. Hoik yourself together- rain does not mean you can’t go out. It means you need appropriate clothing and a suitable activity. Sling, buggy, whatever your preferred method is for the youngest and the eldest walks.

Do you have a partner at all? You need a bit more of a plan to feel motivated, or at least I do. The more you do the more you want to.

It’s shit loads easier if you do work! Childcare means you pee on your own and in normal times other people make you tea.
I have no advice except that I can’t believe you feel like a failure. You have three tiny humans who are alive, that’s a win. I feel going into work is a shit load easier and I only have one little dickhead.

@piscean10 thanks so true. I'm only human I guess.

@BalanchineBallet I do yes. He's out working all day and also has livestock so I do all of the house work and childcare. You're right. Planning is good.

@Onekidnoclue 😂😂😂😂😂 3 Dick heads alive!!! That's gas

Little ones are usually happy to help. Don’t bother about putting toys away in “correct places” let each wee one have a tub / box whatever ( you may need to help the youngest) make a game of picking up the toys, you can get reward stickers which little ones tend to be motivated by. Rewards could also be a game once everything is tidy, or a special picnic with fruit pieces, cherry tomatoes small bits of cheeses on a special plate. Pick something you will only ever do after all the tidying is done and train them like puppies getting a reward, it works. Encourage the oldest in other chores mine used to love helping sweep the floor or washing dishes ( plastic ones) they cause more mayhem to start with but get surprisingly useful after a while.
Getting dressed in the morning or ready to go out set a timer or play a favourite song, everyone races to get ready before the buzzer goes or the song stopes, again you’ll have to help the youngest but a 4 year old should be able to put on Velcro shoes and a jacket after all they have to do it at nursery / school. Take them outside as much as possible, wear them out so that they might sit and play quietly or even nap while you rush round or put a load of washing on for 10 mins. If you get the chance of sometime to yourself without them (don’t refuse an offer unless the person really can’t be trusted) don’t waste it tidying, washing whatever go out for a walk, cycle, run it will help get you fitter and be good for your mental health.

It’s shit loads easier if you do work! not right now it isnt 😭 single parent to a 4 year old at home with me while I'm still working full time from home 🤯
Though I think that may still be easier that 3 under 4 so you have my sympathy op!