New house - new neighbours

[bullywee]

Just venting really. Moved into a new house literally a week before lockdown. We are in a semi and the neighbours to both sides are nice enough (through wall and next door but not through wall) but one of the neighbours is starting to annoy me a little...

It appears that the couple we bought from and one set of neighbours were unbelievably friendly and over the last couple of weeks since lockdown in my area has been loosened I have had a few tradesmen in making the changes to my house. This seems to have really put out the neighbour who was friendly with the previous owners.

Example 1 - got house painted. Neighbour tells me that Tom and Louise (not real names) had their house done only 24 months ago and house was lovely and didn't need decorating. The house was nicely decorated, yes, but not to our taste.

Example 2 - got electrician in to change sockets/light fittings from white to another colour to match our new decor. Also got some external lights, motion sensors etc. Neighbour proclaims "Oh, Tom and Louise didn't think the house needed external lights and why change sockets etc if they are working"

Example 3 - removed carpets and replaced with wooden flooring. Neighbour tells me "Oh, Tom and Louise had lovely carpets, why would you lift them?"

Example 4 - am in the middle of getting the front and back garden's landscaped. Neighbour says "why did you lift the artificial grass, Tom and Louise paid £25m-sq for it only 4 years ago".

There are more examples but you get my drift. It is just becoming so bloomin tedious now.

I voted YABU, not because you should put up with it but because you haven't nipped it in the bud by saying "Tom and Louise don't live here anymore, we do which is why we are changing it".

“Why have you taken up the carpets?”
“Well, they aren’t really practical in a Sex dungeon.” 😏
I’d not be able Bite my lip over the environmental atrocity that is fake grass though. Tell em it’s being turned into a full on wildflower hay meadow, which will be mown by goats in the autumn.

"i'm sure Tom and Louise are too busy changing their new house to suit them to bother about what we are doing to OUR house"

No wonder Tom and Louise fucked right off.

I'd have said very sharply Tom and Louise don't live here any more and gone off inside. And say it everytime they make that comment.
I had someone similar at the end of my garden, she used to shout Oi over the fence at me all the time to gain my attention, usually leaves from my tree drifting towards her garden or something like that (I don't have a forcefield to prevent my leaves, bees, foxes, pollen drifting over there).
I used to totally ignore her even if she was three feet away because I don't answer to Oi. Eventually she twigged, starting using my name and was more respectful.
Repeat Tom and Louise don't live here everytime until they finally get it.

'Blimey, do you spend ALL your time watching our house?!' then wait for an answer.

This is such a non issue?

Just tell her that unfortunately nothing has been as nice as it looks and give examples.

Nosey neighbours can come in handy...

Sorry to miss the point of the thread but how were you able to get in trades people so fast? We can’t get a landscaper until October. 😕

YANBU @bullywee. I also hate carpet so I know we’ll be doing the same as you when we buy.

Some folk really need a hobby. Watch out that they don't extend it into all aspects of your lives and not just your house, like in The Truman Show. They'll have you dressing the same as Tom & Louise did, buying the exact same model of car, going to the same place on holiday, calling your children the same names etc.

Tell them that you had a really long chat with T&L about it all, just before you moved in. They expressly told you to personalise the house to your own tastes and warned you not to make the same mistakes that they did in paying any heed to some extrordinarily nosey neighbours they mentioned lived close by....

If they persist, I'd take them to one side and tell them in an angry whisper that actually you are Tom & Louise, but the witness protection programme required you to undergo some serious plastic surgery, assume new identities and make significant changes to your lifestyles and home for you to be able to 'move into' your own home again. You're determined that 'the bad men' will never win and you refuse to live in fear of their threat to 'take down' you and anybody living within a quarter of a mile of your 'new' home as collateral if they ever find where you've gone....

Oh god this would do my nut in, but for a start I don’t tell any of my neighbours what we are doing, I would say but Thelma n Louise whatever their names were, have moved haven’t they so as much as you think they had nice things, they obviously weren’t that fussed about their house as they sold it, or did they move because of the neighbours I wonder!

Be honest and tell them the house wasn’t up to standards you were happy with what with damages and holes in walls, their arse licking of Tom and louise needs to stop somehow! I agree that you need to make it your own, I’ve never left a house as I’ve bought it as it needs your style not the previous owners’ so anyone who expects you to live in as it came is mad.

It's none of your neighbour's business what you do with your property! Honestly, some people amaze me.

Just be polite but ignore.

There is absolutely no point in being shirty with them.

Every time they offer some observation or tips and hints as to how Tom and Louise would have done it I'd just smile and say 'really'; pretty much a conservation stopper.

Don't be honest that the house wasn't good enough, they'll feel that they have to be offended on their friends' behalf and it'll get awkward. Tell them that the house was too perfect, that it felt like living in someone else's house with higher standards and so you are changing it to feel more cosy and more like yours. It's a total fib, obviously, but they can probably accept it more easily than the truth.

We moved in January both sets of neighbours have annoyed us too giving unwarranted opinions, being judgement and back tracking on decisions they agreed with initially that have now affected us. We paid money on the proviso of original plans. So we now just ignore both sets. They are strangers ultimately and we are happy to keep it that way.

@Toilenstripes I had booked them all in advance of moving in but because of pandemic they were cancelled. I asked for August (school holidays/holidays booked) and thankfully it worked out to be fine dates wise.

House is mad at the moment though!

@ireolu Wow! You've actually lost money? What happened there?

I think I might know why Tom and Louise moved

Maybe ' Tom and Louise' were sick of them on the quite and that's why they decided to move ?
It seems they know a lot about the interior of your new place. I've had the same neighbours for 15 years in our semi and I've never ever seen the inside of their house , or my other neighbours the other side!
We all get on ok etc but not friendly enough to go in their homes!

Just say uh-huh while gazing into the middle distance. Other than that, ignore.

When we first moved, I caught one of my neighbours peeking through my window... I said to her oh what you doing round here? She has no business coming round our little houses as hers is on the other end of the road! She actually admitted to being nosey. I told her to kindly not smoke outside my house as I could smell it inside. She's buggered off since 😂

My next door neighbour told me the old owners did 'quite a lot' to the house. Maybe thankfully, we had a mini flood and had to change pretty much everything. It was horrible before and we got it under market value so that tells you a lot!

@bullywee it's a whole new thread but it's taught us some very important lessons. To put things in writing +/- solicitor input and to trust no one. We were first time buyers. When I am less annoyed about the situation may write the thread.

Us too OP, except neighbours weren’t on speaking terms, and we are beginning to work out why. Anything done outside is commented on, any noise (it’s a semi) is commented on. It’s all a bit tedious.