To be annoyed at always being the ‘bad cop’

[Marypoppins19]

I’m outnumbered by the XY chromosome in my house as the only female. Daddy is seen as the fun, good cop, risk taker, adrenaline junky and me.....I seem to be the homework moaner, risk adverse, boring, dull half of the parenting duet.
DH isn’t doing it on purpose and he always backs me up. He’s easy-going by nature and I love him for it BUT I’m starting to feel like it’s hardwork in my own home!
AIBU to feel this way? Maybe I’m being a bit selfish in feeling a bit lonely in my own home but as babies they were so all about mummy and needed me so much.....now it’s daddy’s time I guess. 😢

I'm just wondering how you are getting on with this? My DH works from home (always has done) and is amazing round the house and with the kids but if I'm disciplining my DS and my DS doesn't like it or is huffy or upset by it, DH jumps in to (in his words) 'distract him' by cheering him up or placating him. It really winds me up. He's a wonderful Dad and person but he won't stand by to let me get on with it. He's always got a follow-up suggestion to make them feel better and it's making me feel like the bad cop. They also don't listen to me and ask for him all the time as he always has to be involved and is seen as the one who can 'do it all'. He means well but they need to learn to listen to me. If I've got a handle on a situation, then I don't need him to repeat what I've said or give the kids other solutions. It's a life skill to listen to other adults and they need resilience. I've told him all of this and he says he understands.
He even suggested to them a rundown of activities for our day at home whilst he would be out! I said it's up to me and can we just go with the flow?! It comes from a good place but it's not working when it comes to parenting. They need to listen to me and he needs to accept I am with them and dealing with it. Hoping our chat today will go in as we have a strong relationship and he is a fab Dad x

How old are the kids? It's hard to know without knowing your relationship if your DH should be doing more (or if you should loosen up).

Mine are 5 BTW. YANBU and I'm offering solidarity as I don't have the solution I'm afraid. I take comfort in that apparently boys do go through a phase of looking to Daddy for everything as they are wired to start learning how to survive and they look to the male for the skills required.