To think MIL slags us off aswell

[rumqueen]

MIL is always slagging of SIL & BIL but then will be really nice and fake with them.

I said to OH this evening if she can slag them off to us but then be going out with them she must do the same to us. He said no because we're closer to her and we don't air our problems out like they do.

What does everyone else think

Of course she is, and what an unattractive quality.

I've said this to him but he's not convinced, I don't trust someone that is told to keep something a secret then tells everyone and that's what she does.

Yea course she will be

I feel like we have the same MIL. I don't talk to her for that reason. Nothing you tell her is private and she slags of SIL to me.

If someone gossips to you they'll sure as hell gossip about you.

I wouldn't doubt it.

Completely agree with EatsShootsAndRuns. If you think any differently, unfortunately you're just being naive.

Yep! Of course she does!

Of course she slags you off to the others. You'd be stupid to think otherwise.

With that in mind don't ever say anything about anyone (SIL and BIL) to her, that you wouldn't be happy to say to their face.

Yep!A gossip loves to gossip...

Yeah, she'll be slagging off you and OH, just as much. He's being very naïve if he thinks she won't.

Haha I've wondered this, mine is always passive aggressively bitching about her other DIL. She also tells her and BIL all of our business but doesn't tell us theirs..maybe they're wise enough to keep quiet!

I suspect so.

I don't think men see that of their mothers though.
I had a similar conversation with dh when his youngest sibling married and his dm (very much encouraged by the other dil which I thought was especially nasty) commented that his sibling thought "the sun shone out of his partner's backside" and was repeating things he'd said (such as shocking things like they didn't always hang their coat on the coat hooks, and sometimes put it over the back of their chair)
Other dil was giggling madly and shrieking "what else did he say?"
I just told dh that he was never to say anything like that to her because she would pass it on. He said she wouldn't, but still is quite careful what he says.

Of course she does

You don't have to air stuff out either for her to gossip. Could be the way you're hair was one day, or how tired your husband was. Anything can spark a gossip

My MIL does this. We found out when my SIL mentioned some very private and sensitive information that we had gone to MIL to seek help and advice about. We don't tell her anything at all now, obviously!

My MIL is a nightmare for this. Me and one of my SIL's often throw totally made up shit in to conversations to see how long it takes to get back to the other.

She genuinely has no idea how to interact with women, has no female friends and spends her life playing her DIL's (there are four of us) off against each other. It's exhausting, and sometimes I'd like to go to her with problems and enjoy time with her but I know every single conversation gets back to someone else eventually.

If someone is talking about another person to you, they are definitely talking about you to them!
One of the mums at school took a dislike to me and suddenly other mums stopped talking to me. I know that she was talking to them about me, it amazes me that none of them realised that she had told me the ins and outs of their personal business. Luckily I knew that if she knew any of my business she would be telling them, the same way I knew all about them!

Plus, my mum has always done this. There is no one that she doesn’t slag off behind their back. It’s amazing to watch actually, how two faced she is. My sister and I caught onto her early, she talks about my sister to me and vice verse

Oh course she does! My MIL used to do this. She would bitch to me about other SILs in an attempt to turn us all against each other. What she didn't account for was that we all spoke to each other.

I’ve had the same conversation with my DH. He got really cross with me for saying that I was worried that MIL would slag off our kids to SIL. “Why on earth would you think she’d do that?”, he spluttered. Er - because every time we see her, she slags off BIL and SIL’s kids to us, DH....

I have a MIL like this. Awful, awful trait. As such has minimal friends and both her sons have little to do with her. It’s very toxic behaviour so put some personal boundaries in place and always remember that she can’t be trusted no matter how nice she might come across some days. Wolf in sheep’s clothing.

Yeah my MIL doesn’t shut up about my SIL who appears totally objectionable but we are aware that there’s a lot of exaggeration....we’ve never really formed a relationship because this was from the start.

SIL and BIL have always been really unfriendly towards us. Ignore birthdays, gifts etc. Secret visits...Don’t speak to me at all....

I know for sure MIL slags us off too because there’s no reason for such bad blood otherwise.

Annoyingly, I’m sure SIL is an MNer so she’s probably reading this thread....