Lockdown has changed me. Its come out of nowhere but I've started to feel I can't do things. I have told my doctor and I have been given the options. The thing is some days I'm happy. Other days I'm freaking out. The person I was before lockdown was a teeny bit anxious. I remember just before DD started school I was abit weak at the parents evenings and was afraid of not being reliable and being able to get us to the school. I have a school five minutes from the house but I choose one a mile walk away because it's better in my view....but once she started we did fine. I really got used to it all. I felt well. I was doing every school run with a toddler. Chatting to the mums and coming home and doing tea etc.
Fast forward to now. I'm scared for September. I'm convinced that I can't do it anymore. I often feel sluggish. My periods are worse since lockdown. I don't want to commit to anything. I am aware I need to take baby steps. At the moment I'm pushing myself to meet friends for walks to the park. It went well last week even though before, I was on edge at the thought. I pushed myself to take the kids to a farm and that was too much for me but I coped for two hours. It took me two days to recover from the anxiety though.
I feel deep down that the cure will likely be starting the school runs again. My partner's going to support me and help out.l for a couple of weeks. It sounds silly but my phobia since lockdown is feeling unwell when I can't get home quickly. The fear of feeling sick, dizzy, anxious or like I need a poo (sorry tmi) is what's scaring me. My body clock is a mess but it used to function fine around the school run.
I just wondered if anyone else is a bag of nerves about getting back into it?
When I get anxious my energy zaps. Then I feel terrible. Any tips on managing this?
I've got rescue remedy and kalms. Not really used the kalms...Dr wasn't keen on me medicating as I guess it's mildish and he said it's only masking what's underneath.