Hormonal anxiety

[HearingMyOwnVoice]

Posted here for traffic.

Over the past few years I've had counselling for issues I had with my parents and how they treated me growing up.
I've come to realise that a lot of how they minimised a lot of my issues has led to some sort of low level anxiety all the time. I've been meaning to go back and get some more counselling but then lockdown happened. During the last lot she commented on my depression. that was an eye opener as I hadn't considered how I was feeling was depression. My husband stepped in and did all the stuff I wasn't doing and I think we masked how bad it had got without realising it.
I'm coming up forty now. I seem to have some really dark cycles related to my period. It's not every month but when it hits I feel like I'm going to fall back into the pit and it's terrifying. My husband is very supportive and knows what to say and how to keep me calm.
I'm hoping to get through it all without anti-depressants (not that I have anything against them at all. I know they are incredibly useful for people) but because all of my family have been on them at one time or another and go back to square one when they come off them and none have had counselling.
I don't really know what I'm asking for here. I guess anything that's been helpful for you be it books, vitamins, podcasts etc.
And maybe a bit of reassurance.

I'm with you. When I hit my 30s my periods just made me mentally unwell, I had ore existing anxiety from an abusive childhood so I understand.

Although I spent a week before and after my period feeling like I was losing the plot, about to fall into some neverending black put, I felt dark and heavy it's hard to explain, I felt like I would die at any moment, I felt unsafe in my body.
I went on Prozac, beta blockers, Valium but the only thing that helped was going on the contraceptive injection.
No periods, no problems, I remember feeling I didn't want to live because living with dread all day was torture. I didn't want to die, but I couldn't imagine living with this dreadful feeling.

Anyway that episode acted as a gateway for me and I really used the time to deeply address my issues.

3 years later I'm fine, happy, no medication. I've recently come off the depo injection so I'm worried about my emotions and if I'll lose the plot again. I'm hoping if so I have enough tools to manage it better this time.

Anyway sorry I have no solution, but you're not alone!

Hormonal contraception is one of the ways to deal with PMDD.

I was diagnosed with PMDD in my 30s. I really struggled. I found a few things helpful. CBT taught me to recognise an episode, and have strategies to deal with it. Also the Mireya coil and antidepressants help.
I really struggle if I drink during that period. I get crippling anxiety the next day, so it’s wise to avoid that. I get night sweats with it too, where I wake up from vivid dreams drenched.
I hope you find something that works for you. I’d say I get a much milder PMS these days, with those things in place. It’s not nice but not unbearable,

Thank you for the replies, they are really helpful. Funnily enough I had the coil removed a couple of years back because we assumed it was that that was causing me such issues. I've no need for contraception anymore and I don't know if I want to go back on them however if they help then that's something to consider.
Yesterday I almost had a panic attack in the supermarket. I've only ever had one before and I managed to breathe my way out of it but I had to leave without getting everything I needed. I think being due on any day and a feeling of lack of control with the pandemic/masks really didn't help.
I feel so stupid.

I've never hear of PPMD before. Makes really interesting reading. It's almost a tick list for me.