Thinking of asking to move in with DP’s parents

[tiredandunoriginal]

Hello, it’s me again.. the one who posted about being financially f*cked.

I’ve been having a long think and am considering asking DP’s parents whether we can move in with them for a while so that I can get out of the debt I am in. Of course will offer to pay them rent, but it would just give me a bit of a breather.

Every penny I earn comes in drips and drabs and I don’t see how I’m ever going to get out of my overdraft and be comfortable where I currently am.

I need to sit down with DP properly to talk about it as they had previously offered, but I’ve lived alone since I was 18 so I was hesitant, but I’m just wondering if anyone has lived with in-laws while having a baby?

Their house is very big (seven bedrooms) and it is mainly his parents there, occasionally his siblings to stay. We would have our own space etc. I’m just not sure.

Would be great to know if you have done this/whether it’s worked out or why you would/wouldn’t do it.

Hi I don’t know the back story but you are NOT failing him, your doing something proactive about your situation, to make sure he is safe/ warm/ secure and you can build a better life, That’s not failing. That’s winning! Good luck, sounds like you have great In Laws.

Well done, op. Even though it was tough, you’ve considered the factors and made a good decision. This this sounds like a positive solution and a good outcome for your family. Wishing you well and hope the move goes smoothly.

It sounds great to me! I'd be wanting to stay for longer than 6 months.

As well as paying off debts I'd want to stay just long enough to have a back up in case work dries up, 6 odd months worth of bills. It would be shit to do all the hard work making a better future for it to all go down the pan later

So you'd have your own kitchen, lounge, bathroom and bedroom?

Why wasn't this your first option when they offered? It's hardly your conventional "moving back in with parents" scenario is it?

Me and my husband moved to live with my parents in 2017. This was mainly because we needed to save for our wedding but also enabled us to save for our flat deposit as well as still having a life.
We didn’t have a baby added into the mix.

The house wasn’t huge, but was 5 bed, my brother was also living there. We were able to have two rooms and have the second as a mini living room - which was great so my husband could have some space and time away from my parents, we could watch our own TV programmes and my husband could play play station. (He played more when we lived there than when we have lived on our own - which I didn’t mind, as I knew he needed time to do things that made him happy).

I’m not going to lie, it was tough at times, but we were there for 2+ years! And both my husband and I agree we wouldn’t have changed it, because it’s enabled us to have be in the situation we are in now.

My mum was pissed off I think, because I reverted to being a 16 year old teenager 😂.

I think it’s great you can do this. It’s not easy having adult children back so really hope it works. Are you going to draw up an agreement of how much you will contribute, spaces you will use, cooking, cleaning and how long you will be staying? I’ve been in your shoes before but never had the safety net you have so bloody good luck to you!

My DD, her DP (now DH) and their toddler moved in with me and DS for 18 months to help get a deposit together to get on the property ladder. My place is a fraction of the size you're looking at sharing with your in-laws and I'd do it in a heartbeat in your shoes. It's not failing anyone if you're making progress as a consequence, and sounds as if it will give your MH a much needed boost.

I converted the living room into a bed-sitting room for me so that they could be upstairs next to the little one, and used the dining room as a living room. My kitchen is tiny and there's only one bathroom which has the toilet in it but we managed by being considerate of each other and our respective schedules, having a couple of ground rules such as never leaving any washing up for later, and a WhatsApp group to message about anything domestic such as shopping, visitors etc.

If you all sit down and have a proper open discussion about money, privacy and scenarios that may arise, you'll have few if any issues.

@Shedpaint you realise that you can get flowers for under £5 and some people do like them?

Sounds really pressured.

What you need is a short term and long term plan. With this in mind you are stepping back to regain control and if that means staying with parents then that’s what you need to do. Keep an eye on savings and don’t be tempted to splash out just because it’s a good month.

You may also benefit with a few baby free hours