To ask whether your 11 year old is allowed Tik Tok?

[devadreams]

DS (11) keeps asking for Tik Tok and I'm unsure whether to allow it. Lots of his friends have it but I am wary having heard quite a lot of bad press about it. Main concerns are him seeing (and potentially sharing?) inappropriate content and the fact it's a huge time sap.

Is your 11 year old allowed it and if so, what controls/rules do you have in place?

If you don't allow it, why not?

It's all quite new to me and would appreciate views from both sides before making a decision.

He had it, only for watching videos. Then I saw what was coming up on it and removed it from his phone. It's not appropriate for kids of that age, IMO.

Why don't you download it and scroll through, you will soon come across something inappropriate for kids to see. It it a nice idea of an app but like everything, has it's bad sides.

My 6 year old stepson is allowed it so yeah, why not?!

In all seriousness we are disgusted his mother allows it, I honestly don't like to speak badly of her but she makes some odd decisions in regards to what he can/can't do! Needless to say he is not allowed it at our house.

Yes, but she's a bit younger.Her account is private, and only allowed to post private videos(not even her friends,all 4 of them, can see them). We watch it together mostly, I have to approve who she follows, she's not allowed to comment or chat. I fiddled with the restrictions a bit so there is some control on what she watches. Mostly harry potter videos, some youtubers and many,many animal videos/accounts.She's a good rule follower so I allow her some (controlled) freedom. I also have no issues with banning things if I feel things aren't quite right.

End if the day, he's your kid. You know him best and you know what you are comfortable with.

Tbh I'm horrified how many kids at my school have very identifiable,non private tiktok accounts.

It's more than the dancing. Whoever said that needs to do more research.

There's been some dangerous and nasty challenges on TikTok like Skullbreaker Challenge (try and break your friend's skull by tripping them!) , Coronavirus Challenge (lick a toilet seat!) , Autism Challenge (bully and laugh at autistic and disabled people!)
It's where the craze for eating Tide Pods started (laundry tabs) and you can guess what happened there.

@ComeOnBabyPopMyBubble

Yes, but she's a bit younger.Her account is private, and only allowed to post private videos(not even her friends,all 4 of them, can see them). We watch it together mostly, I have to approve who she follows, she's not allowed to comment or chat. I fiddled with the restrictions a bit so there is some control on what she watches. Mostly harry potter videos, some youtubers and many,many animal videos/accounts.She's a good rule follower so I allow her some (controlled) freedom. I also have no issues with banning things if I feel things aren't quite right.

End if the day, he's your kid. You know him best and you know what you are comfortable with.

Tbh I'm horrified how many kids at my school have very identifiable,non private tiktok accounts.

You are horrified at people having non private accounts yet you let your younger child use the app

You should take a harder look.

What I will say is that it definitely isn't an app you can get and let them get on with it (even with good privacy settings). It requires quite a bit of parental input and supervision, so if you're not up for that then don't get it.

DD is 12, has asked for it, but not very insistently - we've said no, heard too much bad stuff about it. We are generally very chilled out parents, but sounds like too much to worry about right now. Also she's very anxious and could be easily upset by seeing stuff she shouldn't.

• You are horrified at people having non private accounts yet you let your younger child use the app

You should take a harder look.*

She doesn't post any videos that other can see. Her account is private,with a completely random name.Someone can't even follow her without permission , chat is disabled,so are comments etc (even if not needed since others can't see the vids to comment on) and I watch it with her.

A year ago it was a firm no, this year I decided to give it a go with said restrictions .

No, absolutely not.

@ComeOnBabyPopMyBubble It’s not about the privacy of her account or the content she posts. It’s about the videos she can see and have access to; you cannot control that.

She may be a “rule follower” but that won’t stop her accidentally coming across videos of dead animals, inappropriate adult content, dangerous challenges etc.

You are naive to think you are protecting her because absolutely not. You’re happily exposing her to all sorts.

She doesn't post any videos that other can see. Her account is private,with a completely random name.Someone can't even follow her without permission , chat is disabled,so are comments etc (even if not needed since others can't see the vids to comment on) and I watch it with her.

That's all Greta but you cannot control what she will see. You said you mostly watch it together. So sometimes you don't. Even when you do, as I said upthread, by the time you register what you have seen and react, she has the image imprinted.

Get her off it.

Nope

I was groomed online and raped so I'm very over protective of mine online. No own devices at all until 13 and even after that they will be locked down, no tik tok, no Snapchat etc.

DD is 8 but quite tech savvy and understands that people aren't who they appear to be etc.

She has an account, it might have been mine that she has stolen.

There was a time that she was desperate to create a video, so I filmed her. It's all set to private so no one would ever see (TikTok keep them so could be someone somewhere who sees it) but instantly she asked how many people would like it. I expect she thinks these large numbers are easily achievable. I told her no one would see it. She's sad but understands.

I watch it with her and have never seen anything dark. Assume there is an algorithm that locks in all the same style of stuff.

@AbyssusAbyssumInvocat

I watch it with her and have never seen anything dark. Assume there is an algorithm that locks in all the same style of stuff.

There isn’t. You tend to get shown similar things but they throw in lots of random videos to try and get you to follow other types of videos.

You’ve been lucky so far.

No

Why don't people check what these apps are before allowing their children to use them?

It does not matter how private the settings are. You are potentially exposing your child to things they should not see. Protect them. Get them off TikTok.

@AbyssusAbyssumInvocat

I watch it with her and have never seen anything dark. Assume there is an algorithm that locks in all the same style of stuff.

This is a lapse in judgement that I hope you don't live to regret. The best option would be to remove your child from the app.

Why don't people check what these apps are before allowing their children to use them?

Because they’re foolish and naive, and think it’s just dance videos. Look at all the comments in this thread for example; all these parents who think it’s okay because “the account is private” and “I check what she posts”.

They’re are actively putting their children in harms way and they don’t even care.

I had 4 11 year olds in my car earlier this week and one of them exclaimed “I’ve just seen someone commit suicide!” he’d seen a video of someone jumping in front of a train.

My son doesn’t have it.

but that won’t stop her accidentally coming across videos of dead animals, inappropriate adult content, dangerous challenges etc.

Inappropriate adult content is the only one I'd have an issue with and so far we haven't encountered any.

However I completely get what you and other posters are saying so more food for thought.

Yes mine do. Although ten year old doesn't use it that much tbh.

but that won’t stop her accidentally coming across videos of dead animals, inappropriate adult content, dangerous challenges etc.

Inappropriate adult content is the only one I'd have an issue with and so far we haven't encountered any.

You have got to be fucking joking

So dead animals and dangerous challenges are fine

I can't believe that someone would let an 8 year old have an account.