to think you can't be a counsellor if you can't cope with people being angry

[whereverwhenevernone]

I know someone who is setting themselves up as a counsellor. For many reasons I think they will be crap at this. They aren't qualified for a strat. Have a qualification which is about equivalent to a GCSE in counselling. But, because of serious issues in their own past, they are also completely and utterly unable to deal with people being angry. I don't mean violently angry or out of control, I mean, a bit pissed off or snappy or irritable.

Yes of course it would be none of your business if they were acting within the law

Yes, that's right because the law is never wrong, and never needs to be changed or improved and all of those millions of people who have views on how things should change and all of those millions of people and thousands of organisations that campaign for changes in the law should just realise that it is None of Their Business, and go an do something else instead. Knitting perhaps.

Anyone can call themselves a counsellor in the U.K., there is no regulation

Wait. Really?👀 That's... Not ok!

Yes, exactly, that's the point. Lots of people don't realise this. They trust that the person they see advertised has been trained and assessed in some way as as suitable person. And that is not necessarily the case.

@whereverwhenevernone

Yes of course it would be none of your business if they were acting within the law

Yes, that's right because the law is never wrong, and never needs to be changed or improved and all of those millions of people who have views on how things should change and all of those millions of people and thousands of organisations that campaign for changes in the law should just realise that it is None of Their Business, and go an do something else instead. Knitting perhaps.

Ignoring the sarcasm entirely...

Personally (like you) I feel the law is wrong.

But your thread isn't specifically about the law is it?

Why don't you start a petition and see if you can get it changed?

Of course you aren’t being unreasonable. It is irritating that anyone can call themselves a counsellor - whilst lots of people may make informed choices about seeking out a qualified counsellor, others won’t.

It’s also one of those things which people probably assume they can do without understanding the difficulties of being good in that role.

This guy doesn’t sound like he’d be a good counsellor from what you say, but I don’t know what you can do about it beyond possibly asking him how he will handle those situations and campaigning for tighter regulation.

What specific field are they going into? If it’s relationship counselling anger management problems would be an issue. If it’s giving up smoking maybe less so.

But your thread isn't specifically about the law is it?

Well its something that happened that has made me realise just how bad the situation is. I guess I am thinking aloud through this thread. Y'know how humans do in normal human interactions rather than in articles they have written for published journals.

Counselling doesn’t require a professional qualification.

YABU. People respond differently in their personal lives to how they do in professional situations. I’m an incredibly conflict-avoidant person in my personal life and will put up with a lot before standing up for myself and risking a confrontation. But I’m also a litigation solicitor, and when I’m in court or at a mediation on behalf of a client, I will stand up for them ferociously and fight their corner to the end.

Its not practical things like stopping smoking, so will be people suffering emotional distress for a variety of reasons, so yes, anger is very likely to be expressed.

People respond differently in their personal lives to how they do in professional situations

I have already addressed why this does not apply in the case of this individual.

whereverwhenevernone

Nearly every counsellor, psychotherapist and psychologist I know (I’m a qualified psychotherapist) has had serious issues in their past that is what has lead them to their work.

What is managed in our personal life is completely different I couldn’t sit calmly with a friend who told me they have sexual feelings toward children I would be raging

But their lack of training is more the issue and not having a supervision

While training they will have practiced and as anger is present in much of the work they are likely to have dealt with a clients anger already

What do you think is going to happen exactly

You are not being unreasonable, however your post is too personal, if you had asked if it was unreasonable to expect counsellors to be well qualified and regulated, and illustrated the question with your friends as a an example, I think the replies would have been less critical of your point of view.

YANBU OP.
Anecdotally, I’ve noticed that some people who basically seem to love drama and talking about their own and other people’s “issues”, think they’d make good counsellors. It’s horrific.
I’ve had two or three people tell me they are going to retrain as councillors and in every case I’d have said that they were totally unsuited to it: opinionated, judgemental, unable to subordinate their own experiences when listening to or describing other people’s.

Highly qualified counsellors must find it so frustrating.

I have already addressed why this does not apply in the case of this individual

The only way you could know this is if you have had counselling sessions with them - is that what’s happened?

@ItsAlwaysSunnyOnMN I've already addressed why this is not the case. He cannot choose to control his response. He hardly has any training.
I doubt he has dealt with clients before. He has certainly never spoken of working with clients. His qualification is so basic, I suspect it was all desk based.

@queenMab99, yes, you are right.

As someone whose adopted teenagers are undergoing counselling due to issues around their childhood and mothers death, id be very concerned with their therapist having such a reaction to their understandable anger.

I addressed his lack of training in previous post

How can he not choose to control his response has he a diagnosis of a personality disorder ?

You are right to say we need regulation in counselling and psychotherapy, as at present anyone can use either title and not break the law. But: a person without a recognised qualification normally involving at least 3 years of study, supervision and their own personal therapy will not be eligible to join a recognised professional body such as the BACP or UKCP. This fact matters in that reputable websites such as Counselling Directory will not allow unqualified, uninsured and unregistered people to join and they do check. However, unfortunately there is nothing to stop your chap from advertising elsewhere. If he’s as challenged by strong emotion as you say, I tend to doubt clients would come back. I’m not being flippant - it’s worrying that there are people out there who may do damage and who are acting dishonestly. It’s especially galling to people who have worked very hard to gain their qualifications and who are serious professionals.

There is little you can do unless you have evidence the person is actually doing anything criminal (calling themselves a medical doctor, for instance). If you have any kind of relationship with them, you could point out that therapy training involves having your own therapy first, and that there is a potential to do a lot of harm to himself as well as others. You say he has ‘the equivalent of a GCSE’ in counselling, and I can’t say what that may be though it could be an introductory course of some sort. If he’s serious, he should stick with the training.

@PurpleDaisies

I’m guessing this is an ex?

Think you've hit the nail on the head there.

@queenMab99

You are not being unreasonable, however your post is too personal, if you had asked if it was unreasonable to expect counsellors to be well qualified and regulated, and illustrated the question with your friends as a an example, I think the replies would have been less critical of your point of view.

I agree

I have just finished training as a counsellor. It has taken me 3 years of study, supervision and personal therapy as well as completing 100 hours of practice. It makes me so cross that we are not regulated and that anyone can set themselves up as a counsellor in this country. This can be extremely damaging for some clients or, at best just ineffective. I am aware that some people go into counselling for completely the wrong reasons - with proper training, these people are usually weeded out.
YANBU worrying about your acquaintance at the stage they are at now. They should not be setting up without being properly qualified and safe to practice. Their issues with anger are a worry and could be addressed before they embark on a career helping vulnerable people.

Well, caveat emptor. Clients have a responsibility to themselves to check qualifications and registrations.

Although YANBU.

How can he not choose to control his response

He does have a MH diagnosis and that is why he cannot control the reaction.

This sounds like a trauma/ptsd type response and if so then he won't be able to control it. He might benefit from some kind if trauma therapy himself (e.g. EMDR) and it really doesn't sound like he is ready yet to counsel others yet. YANBU

Was that an excuse (one used often)

Or he has/is receiving treatment (that wouldn’t necessarily stop him training or qualifying)

He should have disclosed if he hasn’t you can inform bacp or ukcp

Have you heard the concept of the 'Wounded Healer'?
Many people who become counsellors and therapists pursued this line because of their own psychological difficulties and the desire to prevent other people suffering the way they do / did.

If this person is fully trained, they will have training, their own therapy, supervision, etc and they can become a great counsellor because of their own unique make up.