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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to ask if you let your young teenagers hang out at the park/in the street etc

27 replies

alittleisland · 15/08/2020 08:32

This is a non-judgemental post by the way, just curious. Do you allow your teenagers to hang out at the park in the evenings? Or hang out in the streets? When I say park, I don't mean for doing sports, just general hanging out and forget Covid-19, in normal times.

OP posts:

BlackberrySky · 15/08/2020 08:33

Yes, during the day, not in the evenings.

Porcupineinwaiting · 15/08/2020 08:35

Not in the evenings.

Sickoffamilydrama · 15/08/2020 08:35

Not in the evening no but do let them go to.the park with their friends they are 13/14 & spend most of their time in dens & climbing trees so not usual teen hanging around although would be fine with that too

Charles11 · 15/08/2020 08:36

During the day, mine will hang out with his friends playing football.
Not in the evening.

Allington · 15/08/2020 08:37

Yes, during the day.

AlexaShutUp · 15/08/2020 08:40

I've never had to "allow" it as dd and her friends don't really do the whole hanging out in the street/park thing. They're much more likely to go somewhere specific (cinema, restaurant etc) or just hang out at each other's houses.

Obviously, there have been some meet-ups in parks etc during covid, but they tend to take a picnic and sit in the park for a couple of hours during the day or go off on long walks through the countryside.

I wouldn't be keen on them just hanging around in the street/park for hours on end, and especially not in the evenings, so I'm glad that this way of socialising doesn't seem to appeal to dd and her friends!

Ragwort · 15/08/2020 08:41

I think I was fortunate in that my DS never showed any interest in just 'hanging about' in the park or street so it was never an issue ... he was/is massively into sport so when he met up with friends it was always to play sport or practice. Cricket especially used to go on until early evening so he was able to have a soft drink with the rest of the team, which included adults, and still felt it was a bit of a 'late night' when he was 13/14 .

HandsOffMyRights · 15/08/2020 08:42

Mine are out sometimes in the day at the park with a football or if they go to the town centre, they walk about and pop to McDs. They're not very "streetwise" though and lots of bike thefts/robberies at the park lately.

The cinema is shut, the swimming pool says over 16s only. These are the places they would normally be during the holidays. There's little else for them to do.

HandsOffMyRights · 15/08/2020 08:43

@HandsOffMyRights

The cinema is shut, the swimming pool says over 16s only. These are the places they would normally be during the holidays. There's little else for them to do.

Also the sports club they go to and youth club both shut due to Covid.

Tumbleweed101 · 15/08/2020 08:45

Not in the evening but my 11 and 14 yo go to the park together in the day, esp at the moment and sometimes
will meet a friend there but they don’t hang out in big groups. They have to have a way of being contactable though in case they want to pop to a friends house, for example.

lifeafter50 · 15/08/2020 08:51

Well where I live the police have had to put a dispersal notice in place because of young teens jumping my off a high bridge into shallow river water, swimming out and climbing on moored boats and vandalising them and narrowly avoiding being run over by rowing sculls.
And this is in a 'naice' suburb. If kids caught Covid they are prime candidates -clearly the parents just don't care as long as they are out of the house.

VirginiaWolverine · 15/08/2020 08:54

13 year old DD and her friends have been meeting up during the daytime for days outside walking and climbing trees in the park/woods/riverside.

They can't meet up indoors at the moment, and as DD hasn't been able to do any sports practice since March, I like her to get some time moving around outside.

MayFayre · 15/08/2020 08:58

I would but they won’t

cheesecurdsandgravy · 15/08/2020 08:59

I don’t think many parents expect their child to be one of the ones hanging around the streets or in a big group in the park. But clearly, lots do!

VirginiaWolverine · 15/08/2020 08:59

DD hasn't been a teenager in summer in normal times, so I don't know what I would do. I imagine there would gave been a lot more sleepovers for evening entertainment, but daytimes would probably be more or less the same,only with added swimming and cinema trips.

LucyTamedOgres · 15/08/2020 09:08

Ds (13) has only met up with his friends a couple of times since restrictions were eased and that’s been for a couple of hours at a local park.

He’s not bothered since. Tbh I’m slightly worried he’s not spending as much time outside of our bubble and probably needs to spend more time with his friends. This whole Covid situation has knocked his confidence (I think) or he could just be happy in his (and our) own company? We go for walks and days out but haven’t been away. He talks to his friends online playing games but he doesn’t seem to have the enthusiasm to meet with them often. Anyone else’s dc similar?

He is looking forward to going to back to school though so that’s something. Fingers crossed all school will fully re-open in Sept

ruddynorah · 15/08/2020 09:13

Yes but not after dusk. She's 14 and meets friends, goes to subway or Starbucks then eats in the park. They 'hang out' on the streets as they go between shops or wander from knocking for one another.

TheFormerPorpentinaScamander · 15/08/2020 09:14

Yep. DS2 and his friends would often be in the park with a collection of light sabres pre covid. As long as he was contactable and back at someones house before it got dark.

Original poster

alittleisland · 15/08/2020 09:15

@LucyTamedOgres
My son has just turned 13 and is exactly as you've described. Not been out much with friends but perfectly happy at the same time.

OP posts:

LucyTamedOgres · 15/08/2020 09:25

@alittleisland glad it’s not just mine. I just worry he’s hardly getting any social interaction with his peers.

YgritteSnow · 15/08/2020 09:43

No. No one I know really does here - West London. Teens go out to do things or go to places eg cinema, ice cream shop, each other's house, shopping at Westfield etc. Also parks all close and are locked at dusk.

pasteldechocolateconchispa · 15/08/2020 09:48

My DD 12 isn’t interested and doesn’t want to her friends from secondary come from all over some not very local. They’ve had socially distanced picnics. My youngest is 9 so we have met again in parks for picnics.

Same as @YgritteSnow we are west London area so tends to be cinema, creams or local ice cream shop, each other’s houses. Westfield is very popular

Nameandgamechange123 · 15/08/2020 09:50

I let my 14 and 16 do as they wish. They are super independent and travel all over London to various places to see people /skate / hang out. I am not totally comfortable with it, but the alternative is that they are bored and lonely. They are normally home by 7/8 but there are times when they stay out later if its agreed. They are both very confident and streetwise.

Newfornow · 15/08/2020 09:52

Depends on the teen. Mischief searching history of being an annoyance to others. No. Sensible chat and bother no one type. Yes.
Evening can be for drinking smoking and being a general PITA. I try not to judge all teens the same. Totally unfair, some are polite and fab. (and mine of course)

Original poster

alittleisland · 15/08/2020 10:39

@LucyTamedOgres
I totally get your worries. I've come to the conclusion that I'm not going to be too concerned that he isn't socializing that much with his peers. I think youth is the only time in life we are concerned about people socializing with people their own age. When you go out into the world of work, you mix with all generations. I keep telling myself he is happy and polite and chats about all sorts with family so he is well 'socialised' albeit not much with other 13 year olds at the moment. Back to school soon anyway xxx

OP posts:

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