To feel as if everyone looks to me for answers when I'm barely managing to put one foot in front of the other?

[drivinmecrazy]

I guess like many people my family and I are going through turbulent times.
I can live with that.
What I'm struggling with is that they all look to me for answers.
My mum is downsizing which involves lots of negotiations and legal stuff as well as all the emotional baggage that goes with it.
DD1 had to prematurely finish her first yr at uni and all the frustrations that go with that.
My mums home is in Spain so have been here with DDs since we could come so middle of July. She has to sell due to ill health, but it's the house my dad designed and built with dreams of his DGDs spending their childhood summers here.
We've been blessed they've been very fortunate to have had that idyllic life. But now it's going on the market.
Everyone is heartbroken but do you know what, so feckin am I!
But I don't get to wallow in morose and regressive behaviour (DD1 almost twenty!!!)
I don't get to be Grumpy that the table isn't laid with the correct set of bloody cutlery for the dinner that I cook that no fecker eats any way cos it's too blardy hot.
And I don't get to go to take two weeks off to sit in an empty house back in UK cos 'I deserve a break' as DH does. I know he works exceptionally hard but he's the one telling me how lonely it is at home and how he misses us but still manages to miss or avoid our calls and messages for 48 hours. Now moaning and asking when we're coming home.
This is the same DH that rang me two weeks ago to say that 'someone has crashed into your car'. This would be my car that should gave been in the drive way , no need for him to use it cos he has his own. So I've been dealing with the insurance company on top of everything and everyone else.
Let's not even go into friends back home messaging me at all hours for reasons ranging from the sublime to the ridiculous.
Yet if I want to rant or grumble,or god forbid, need and help I just need to suck it up.
I'm tired of my almost twenty year old knowing absolutely bloody everything , I'm sick of my mother who is a fruit case and I'm getting very weary of DH he's very lonely without the 'chaos' at home.
The only shining light is my very nearly 15 year old (only ten days to go as she keeps reminding me). She has such a bright out look on life. It's as if every day is a new day and she sees it though fresh eyes (yesterday she asked what are baby lambs called )
Right now she's the only one holding up the sky for me, the only person who asks me if I'm ok.

Really want to tell the rest of them to take a very long hike off a short pier.
I gues I'm asking in a VERY long winded way if IABU to think I can't be the only one buckling under these extreme and exceptional times and to just wish I could just hide away, just for one day??

YANBU.

Oh definitely no...most people want to run for the hills...
Any chance you can get them all do to their dinners? Also not to reply to husband? Or just to interrupt him when he starts off "oh if you miss us so much first pick up your phone you can't be busy 48hrs!and secondly if it's that bad, come here : I'm buckling under the pressure!!" and then hang up?
It's tough but hang in there. And also....bliidy assign them tasks and become like a frozen little stone, unreactive to their emotions. Just sigh and smile at them. And then change the subject.
As for your mum, I hope the sale finalises soon x

Thank you. Just writing it down has helped.
Like everyone we're just hanging on by a thread.
I know we're luckier than most. I just wish some one would ask me , in true Meghan Markle style, 'are you ok'

I think you need to take to your bed because of your horrific headache

Sympathy op. Dealing with a 16 yo who sloped off to a party last night, an 18yo who expects me to deal with his parking dien because some random girl wants to watch a film with him - and has bought sweets so he must go...
Will be spending this morning filtering out their dirty laundry so they can fast track laundry learning. And won't be cooking for for foreseeable for either of them.
And fuming.

A 15yo didn’t know what a lamb was?!
Yep - that would cheer my day up too!

You need to toughen up.
I can you now that if anyone criticised my cutlery choice they’d get a steely eyed look and a, “really?”
If you have friends who dump too much on you but don’t support you in return - stop answering.
As for your husband - call him on his bullshit. Do you not say, “you can stop it with the lonely crap, you weren’t lonely when you didn’t reply for 48 hours.”

I’m sympathetic to the grumpy 20yo first year uni though... possibly because I have one and think it’s been tough on them missing out.

The rest of them? Stop being responsive to their crap!

Re the insurance: you won’t be able to avoid being the one that starts the claim. But everything else - paperwork, going to garage - not your problem. Dump that straight back on him.

You have my support.

I am expected to be The Oracle for every single person in my life. I'm weary.

Just fuck off out with your 15yo and leave the others to it for a while? Then come back and ask the other 2 adults what's for dinner?

Are you me? My family are exactly the same! It drives me potty, I can’t even begin to write the heartbreak I’m going through with my deceased grandparents, I live with one Nan who just is awful to me honestly I moved in with her after my grandad died because all her family pissed off to her native country because I can do it. Rest of my family as much use as a chocolate fire guard, people get used to people like us who are competent, my DP says why do you do it tell them, but by the time I explain it I would have done it so may as well do it.

No one asks if I am ok, cooks my dinner, buys me a little something so I know being thought of, does anything nice, even shrek treats his donkey better.

I have no advice but sympathy, maybe keep the spanish home and I’ll come live there with some baby lambs and some spanish waiter serving us cocktails??? Let me know.

Thank you so much, this has cheered me up no end!
I do often sneak out with DD2 under the guise of supermarket shopping and we eel it out to include a visit to her favourite ice cream shop that very conveniently serve a gorgeous cava ice cream cocktail which is heavier on the cava than the ice cream.
She is my one salvation in all this. The simplest mundane tasks always turn into an exciting adventure.
I just get so weary of it all sometimes.
The other day I had an apoplectic scream at every one and went to hide in the garden. It's a huge garden with many hiding spots, they all found me in three minutes suggesting we all hug it out together. Needless to say my response led them to give me a wide berth for the rest of the day.
That was nice. Until normal service resumed

I have this on a tiny level. At dinner in a restaurant yesterday, every member of the family asked me a question as though I’m fucking Google.this included ‘what time is low tide?’

It’s like I am the holder of all information. Like a hard drive that you back your computer up with.

So I get where you are coming from, and I recommend you take the advice here to either slope off or take to your bed!