To be sad that my teens don't remember being toddlers?

[Glastonbury2020]

They are now 16 and 18. They don't remember the endless boring mums and tots groups, the soft play centres, the hours in the park on the swings, the 6am Postman Pat jigsaws, the play doh, the stories at bedtime, the educational songs at the library! Nothing!
They remember stupid things like a jam sandwich at nursery and punching their siblings in the paddling pool.
So much for making memories!
Was it all worth it?

[EvenMoreFuriousVexation]

This is a really interesting thread - I've always been interested in memory.

I have consistent, coherent memories from about 2.5yrs. I can remember things before that, but they are just visual flashes without context.

My younger sister, by contrast, has very little recall of anything before the age of about 13. Which is slightly weird, because we went to the same primary and secondary, and I have LOTS of memories of her on the playground together.

[Pandacub7]

My earliest memory is aged 3 (barely) on my first day of nursery. Most people I know don’t remember anything before late primary school!

[PigglyWigglyWoo]

All I remember is pissing myself at nursery and accidentally sucking instead of blowing when making one of those washing up liquid bubble pictures

[IceCreamAndCandyfloss]

I don’t think many will have memories from the baby to pre school years. Most of the things like groups are for the parents. Like another poster said, it’s why i don’t get the competition parenting at that age. Neither do I get the angst over childcare/working as they won’t remember who did it as long as they were well cared for.

[SarahBellam]

They won’t necessarily remember the individual activities, but taken together those activities are the things that helped them learn, develop their skills, learn how to interact with others, have fun, develop self esteem and self efficacy, feel loved and safe and happy. They’re part of the tapestry of their lives. I may not remember that my dad buried my sister and I in the sand with our heads poking out and we were laughing Like drains (actually I do remember that), but it helped towards us learning about thriving on the love and attention and shared experiences, and now we do that with our children who love it just as much.

I loved the mother and toddler groups. A few hours a week to talk to people in the same boat, and a cup of tea and a biscuit, kept me sane as a new mum in a new area. Some of them are still great friends today.

[MarshaBradyo]

I have missed play group. Admittedly a small thing in the scheme of everything but dd (age 2.5) last went in March, which is a shame

[Emeraldshamrock]

I have 2 very early memories neither pleasant. In preschool I wiped the tip of my painted finger in the teachers fridge. big trouble
The 2nd my little pal was knocked down he died. I don't remember seeing it I remember the Gardai asking me questions I was crying to use my potty, I've a memory sitting on my potty while they asked questions.

[OverTheRainbow88]

I think all those lovely experiences shape who they are today Even if they don’t explicitly remember them. They had a safe and happy childhood which will make them feel secure and safe when older.

[WaxOnFeckOff]

I've had same discussion with adult teen DSs. DS2 concluded that just because they didn't remember it doesn't mean it was a waste as they are sure they enjoyed it at the time.

[Pikachubaby]

Haha, I know what you mean, my kids are the same age

I take comfort from the fact that I know I did my best, and that they feel and have always felt safe and loved (soppy)

And those mum-toddler groups were more for my sanity than theirs a bit like a real life Mumsnet

[ContessaferJones]

In happier news, I tried out 'Round and round the garden' and 'This little piggy' on the DC this morning. They are 8 and 9. Both had a dawning look of realisation and then demanded I do it again

[TheySeeHerRowling]

Aw, this just made me ask dd2 (15) what she remembers

Not a chuffing thing except getting into a fight at playgroup because she didn't want anyone else to come into the toy kitchen

[TheySeeHerRowling]

On the other hand, I remember absolutely loads - earliest is probably standing up in my cot at my grandad's house, screaming for my mum to come up the stairs because I didn't want to go to sleep yet I remember a massive (probably normal sized in hindsight) dispenser of Johnson's baby powder on top of the wardrobe, and a large rag doll with a flowery dress and yellow plaits

Can't have been much past my first birthday

[Whatruthinking]

How much do you remember op?

[Pebblexox]

I don't remember anything from toddler hood. However I know I had a happy childhood and that's all that matters.
Kids don't remember the moments, or the activities. They remember either being happy or sad. It doesn't mean it wasn't worth it.

[zingally]

No, they won't remember in a way that can be articulated. But they "remember" in the way that they grew a loving and strong bond with their parent(s), and that these activities helped them develop well-stimulated, well-rounded brains.

My earliest memory is from when I was 3, sitting on the toilet, looking out the open door, at all the kiddy drawings mum used to stick on the door of the airing cupboard - thinking that I'd been 3 for a VERY LONG TIME.
A memory from a similar time is walking across the bridge to the village shop with mum, carrying my collection of 20p coins I'd get for pocket money in an old Boots prescription bag! And then I'd buy some penny sweets!
And I remember sitting at the dinner table one day, when dad walked behind me with a jug of gravy, stumbled, and spilt it all over my head!!

[metalkprettyoneday]

I feel kind of sad reading this. All that effort and care and they won’t remember. And it seems the parent forgets too. Sometimes I hear them doing toddler songs in the library and I say to my 10 year old, do you remember this one? She doesn’t . While I feel all sentimental. I think it might be nice to write more down in a special book - like people do for the first year. Maybe - favourite songs , daily routine , friends at playgroup, daily snacks - you could include photos and have it in the book shelf . It would be nice for the child and parent to look at.

[Cam77]

The scarier thing is when your parents forget big stuff you did as a teenager (or who did what!). That’s when you know you’re getting old!

[Cam77]

As for toddler memories, I bet it’s all in there somewhere. I sometimes set myself the task of remembering one new memory in a day. I can usually drag something out, even if it’s just a certain smell or sight from my childhood.

As others have said, even if they can’t remember it is still the foundation of who they are.

[Cam77]

What annoys me is how after age twenty time starts running at x 2.0 speed. Then after thirty it runs at x 3.0.
It is a really poorly designed system.

[MrsSpookyM]

I don't remember much before the age of about 11 tbh, apart from traumatic things that happened.

[Emeraldshamrock]

I have a very good long term memory my siblings are often shocked, my short-term memory is shit.

[tempnamechange98765]

I have very few memories from childhood, only really random things. I know I was happy though, my non-memories are happy ones. Your teens will know that they had a lovely time I'm sure

This does make me a bit sad though, my DC are 4 and 1 and we do lovely things together and have so much fun, I have lovely memories day to day which they'll have no recollection of. I'm hoping my eldest will remember this summer as it's been so different for him having his parents around all the time, and he's over 4 and a half. But we'll see!

[julybaby32]

I feel really sad about this because I'm now wondering if my mum who is now dead felt angry or disappointed with my brother and me for not being able to remember so much, although looking at this thread here, we were in the average to quite good range for being able to remember, but maybe it still wasn't enough. She died a few years ago, so it is too late to apologise or to ask her.

[WaxOnFeckOff]

I don't feel angry and disappointed at all. I loved those days taking my DC out and experiencing the world through their eyes. When prodded about things, stuff does come back to them from time to time. But it's the experiences that they've had that has shaped who they are and all the trips to the zoo and picnics and play dates and toddler groups contribute to that.