To be sad that my teens don't remember being toddlers?

[Glastonbury2020]

They are now 16 and 18. They don't remember the endless boring mums and tots groups, the soft play centres, the hours in the park on the swings, the 6am Postman Pat jigsaws, the play doh, the stories at bedtime, the educational songs at the library! Nothing!
They remember stupid things like a jam sandwich at nursery and punching their siblings in the paddling pool.
So much for making memories!
Was it all worth it?

[Porcupineinwaiting]

YANBU all those hours singing nursery rhymes and reading the same books again and again. Just why?

I did stuff with them that I remembered and loved from childhood and they remember almost nothing. Could as well have shoved them in the cupboard under the stairs for 5 years!

[JemimaShore]

It does just fly by.

Most of our photos, from about 2010, are digitally stored - and this has just reminded me how I must get the best ones printed and put in albums. Because sometimes I look back at photos 7/8.9 years ago - and think omg I had completely forgotten that!

[ILiveInSalemsLot]

Yeah that’s why I only did stuff that was mainly for me. All the baby and toddler groups were for me so I could chat to people, all the parks and walks were for me to get out of the house and get a bit of exercise, all the museums, galleries, day trips and holidays were all for me. I chose places I wanted to go to.
The fact that they enjoyed it at the time was a bonus. (They don’t know that, of course)

[Colom]

I sort of hope mine won't remember a lot of it!

[cbt944]

I have memories, some like snapshots and others more filled out but very visual and spatial, going back as early as 18 months. If you drove me to a nearby street, I could probably take you back to the flat my family lived in before I was three and a half, despite not being in the area since then, decades ago, and I could draw a rough map of its layout and place the furniture and colours of things I remember in it. I have lots of detailed memories from age 3-4 up.

[Hardbackwriter]

I sort of figure that it's me, not him, that's 'making memories' with my DS (age 2) at the moment. He won't remember his delighted little squeals the first time he went in the sea, or the cute way that he sings the wheels on the bus, or cuddling in bed with me, but I hope I will.

I remember almost nothing before I was about 7 and - and I say this with some sadness - most of my really specific, vivid memories are negative. Not traumatically so, I was very lucky to have a very stable and happy childhood, but little things that really matter to a child: being told off unfairly (in my view at least!), another child saying something nasty to me, that kind of thing all looms a lot larger in my memories than the lovely family holidays that I know we took. BUT while I can pick out few specific memories from early childhood I do have a sort of warm glow about it, a feeling that I was always loved and always felt safe. Even though I'm a grown-up with my own child and wouldn't want to go back to live there or anything, my parents' house still feels like 'home' in some ways, and going there makes me feel comfortable in a way not many places do. I think that's what you get from being loved and treated and cared for and indulged and cuddled and played with as a toddler; not specific memories, but that general feeling of warmth and love.

[Hardbackwriter]

That’s why I never understood the competitive ‘mummying’ when they were that age. All the parks, toddler groups, soft play, picnics, farm visits... bored me shitless and lo and behold, it was all pointless anyway. They had as much fun in the garden with a washing up bowl full of soap suds and water!

I think a lot of mums are doing it for them/to make life easier, not for some competition - I certainly am, I take DS out loads (under normal circumstances when all those things are open!) not to show off but because I find spending all day at home very, very boring and I find time with him much more enjoyable and interesting if we go out and do things.

[crosser62]

But what irks me most is that they don’t remember me being forced to read Topsy and bastard Tim every bloody night. EVERY NIGHT.
Ungrateful little shits.

[Myothercarisalsoshit]

Don't get me started on 'Thomas the Bastard Tank Engine'. God I hated those books. Boring as fuck.

[HopelessSemantics]

"That’s why I never understood the competitive ‘mummying’ when they were that age. All the parks, toddler groups, soft play, picnics, farm visits... bored me shitless and lo and behold"

You didn't understand the competitive mummying and yet you did it?

I do those things but I enjoy them. I'm not doing it to try to be a good mum, it doesn't go on social media, but I just like being outside and going to different places.

[teaandcustardcreamsx]

I can still remember parts of my toddlerhood granted not all of them are good but not all of them are bad. Seems to be 50/50

[PerspicaciaTick]

During toddlerhood, your child's brain is rewiring itself. The neural pathways that are used most often are reinforced and strengthened, while those that are not used will disappear. Giving your child a breadth of experiences from which they learn, by supporting their play and offering them experiences that build on what they already know and let them explore in more depth - all that is literally building their brain. They may not remember how they learned to use a potty, order toys by size or say "no" - but it wouldn't have happened if they were just left in a room with no stimulus.

[jessstan2]

I remember sitting in my high chair playing with food, eating dirt in the garden wearing dungarees (can still remember what the earth tasted like), standing up in my cot watching my parents in bed asleep during the night when I was sleeping in their room while my bedroom was being decorated.

My mum bought me a dolls pram and I have a photo of tiny me in the garden with it but I found it embarrassing to go out with it.

My son remembers quite a bit from when he was about two.

We didn't have mothers and baby/toddler groups then, thank goodness, I'd have hated that.

[funinthesun19]

Although they don’t actually remember the memories, whatever happened when they were toddlers and beyond has formed the bond that you have today and shaped who they are.

I have some memories of when I was a toddler. I know there will be so much jam packed in to my toddler years that I have no idea happened. It’s so strange. Even my childhood after the toddler years, I have memories there too but again I know there will be so much I don’t even know about but I was there and it was real.

[lydia7986]

We remember specific bad moments - embarrassment, injustice, rejection - far more than our many generic happy experiences.

I was very happy throughout my time at primary school, but even so, my clearest memory of it by far is my Year 2 teacher incorrectly accusing me, in front of my class, of stealing something from her.

The injustice of it has stuck in my mind, and I can recall in great detail a chain of events surrounding it, down to the exact wording of conversations.

[oceanbreezy]

I don’t remember being a toddler at all

[user1481840227]

It's not about making memories for toddlers.
It's about doing fun things with them, spending time with them, nurturing, loving and taking care of them so that they have healthy attachment styles and prepare them for their later years in life.

[Ploughingthrough]

You were building bonds and enriching their brains which is what makes them who they are today!

[mamma456]

Just because they don't remember doesn't break they haven't learned and benefitted from it.

[Hyperfish101]

No one remembers very much before 5. It’s how our brains develop and function.

[PercyKirke]

I can remember one event in my childhood which, according to my DM, must have happened when I was 3. Apart from that, I have no memories nothing until I went to school.

[StoppinBy]

You did create memories.... you created them for yourself.

You also helped create and shape their personalities, the people they are now with what you did then even if they can't remember it.

[TitsOutForHarambe]

I barely remember anything before the age of about 5.

My kid's baby and toddler memories are for me. I treasure them. I don't expect them to remember any of it.

[Teapot13]

Do they remember the good prenatal care and nutrition? Obviously not. Doesn't mean it wasn't important.

[NotMyFinestMoment]

It was definitely all worth it as it made them into the young adults they are today. I have some mixed memories from the ages of 3-4 (not particularly good ones but won't mention as they may be triggering for some). As I have got older there are other things that I have remembered over the years, so there will be things and happy childhood memories that they will remember and which will come back to them at some point (but perhaps they couldn't remember at the time you asked them).