To start the stranger danger conversation with a 5yo?

[Youtrustthefridge]

Just that really. When did you do it and what did you say? Part of me doesn’t want to ruin her innocence but Is it necessary now?

I just brought it up when we were out in a public place, like at the park or on a picnic, I said if a stranger came and spoke to you and asked you to come with them because mummy or nanny ect said it was okay,mummy wouldnt have. The only people that would take you any where would be me, nanny, aunt, daddy ect. Not a stranger. Now hes got older I say why as in they might want to hurt you as i think he has a right to know that there are bad people around and not to trust everyone, this piece of information could keep him safe, not that hes ever out of my sight when hes with me but if he doesnt know why he wont nessasaryily link a stranger with danger.

I introduced stranger danger to my DS when he was about 3 and we started going to theme parks. I didn't teach 'stranger' as such, just told him that he must not leave the park with anyone but me or his daddy even if he knew the person or they said they knew us. He has been told if he is ever lost he must find an adult in uniform and tell them he is lost.

He did this in a museum once, he wandered off ahead of me (local museum and completely safe) and before i knew it i heard a tannoy announcement for me. When i got to the desk DS was sitting there having told the security officer he was lost and that his mummy had blonde hair and a blue coat. He also told them that my name was DobbyLovesSocks but I prefered Dobby.

pressed send too soon:

As he has gotten older the advice has changed slightly and we now cover what to do on public transport (underground) if we are ever separated. I do this everytime we go out for the day and I also take a photo of him so I have a recent photo should the worst ever happen ( I watch a lot of crime shows).
We have spoken about the pants rule and as he is now older how he needs to keep his penis private - I am a stickler for proper names though as I have heard of stories where children have tried to get help for abuse but they don't know the proper names for their body parts. Not sure if it is true but not worth the risk IMO

Shesapunkpunk small children are painfully innocent. They have absolutely no concept of badness in other people, or even really of bad things happening at all. Even a gentle introduction to the concept of tricky people begins to chip away at that pure innocence (which of course, is necessary).

I think the OP was saying she doesn't want to do it in a cack-handed way that goes from total innocence to bogeymen on every corner and terrifies the child.

I used to be a PCSO and taught stranger danger in schools. This was a few years ago and even then we were doubting it’s worth for the reasons a lot of people have said. The tricky people thing looks more like it.

We did teach about ‘safe strangers’ though, so if they got lost in a shopping centre (a more likely scenario than being approached by a child snatcher) to ask for help from someone in a shop uniform or similar.

As far as the risk bit, you don’t need to terrorise them, but they do need to know while most people are lovely there are some who may want to hurt children. Y1/2 age is not too young to know this.

I used Frozen as a wee example with my two to engage on their level. It ties in with the tricky person angle like others have used. DD1 thought if someone smiled they must be nice but we talked about Prince hans in frozen and how he pretended to be nice to trick Anna and elsa. Seemed to make more sense to her.

I haven’t RTFT, but I wish parents would have the stranger danger conversation with their kids round here. DS has just started going to play parks and the amount of children that come up and have a conversation [and in one case, told me his full life story] is staggering. I appreciate that I (hopefully!) don’t look like a threat with DS at a park, but it scares me that these children could go and be like this with anyone they see.

Best not to call it stranger danger as a childs idea of who this person might be is not realistic. Ask them what this person looks like and they might say a dark unfriendly images which excludes the smiley lady.

They will cover this in Reception class and it is about who they trust and excluding all others. They are far more at risk from a family member and teaching them the pants or similar rule. When they have any feelings of sadness and knowing who they can tell. When to tell a secret and what a good relationship/friendship looks like. It covers elements of phse, bullying, self esteem, relationships, safeguarding and difference etc.

Oh Prince Hans is a brilliant one.

I started younger than that but it is not just strangers as most children are abused by someone they are familiar with. There used to be a great book about staying safe that we used to read. It is important to build your child's confidence as particularly paedophiles know which children to target. If your child is confident and look likely to kick off it greatly reduces the chance of being taken. However, whilst being "scared but safe" is good children need to know who they can trust if something happens. For example, a police officer, a woman with children, neighbours you both know who would look after them, friends you trust without question. Also that you would never ask anyone to pick them up if they are not on the schools list and to never get into a car unless you've given them permission. I know these are not failsafe and seem overprotective because some children still get snatched but all we can do is make things as safe as possible

I started at 3.

DS was an intrepid little soul and would occasionally make a break for it, so I started with what do do if you can’t find mummy, which led into what not to do, ie tricky people.
There was a news story about a three year old who had managed to unlock the front door and set of for Sainsbury’s on his own for some sweets. My ds tried to get out of the cat flap once and I worried he’d have another go.