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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Save marriage

9 replies

Walshp · 14/08/2020 13:26

So I’m asking on here for another women’s opinion as I’m loosing my head. My wife had affair well series of one night stands several months back recently about 8weeks back we both agreed to try and save marriage but needed to talk things over first not about the affairs done with talking dragging up that but more along lines of how we are going to change and treat each other better moving forward put right what was wrong however she always makes excuses for not going ahead with talking either not well or busy ect ect. I pay majority of the bills and we have both said if we don’t agree on certain things then we would separate and she would need to sort her money out so we can both live separate lives and I’d have to find my own place to rent. I’m wondering if she is just playing games with me no intention of actually talking things over as she wants to continue having the security of me paying bills and convenience of me being at home to look after kids so she can continue going out as and when she likes

OP posts:
AryaStarkWolf · 14/08/2020 13:29

She doesn't sound like she wants to work things through with you by her unwillingness to talk to you and by having numerous sexual encounters. Are the children yours?

Walshp · 14/08/2020 13:33

Yes they are our children she assures me she wants to be with me and will talk soon but I’m getting fed up with waiting for this soon to happen
In my eyes if we both wanted to work things out then talk ASAP so we can start afresh or part ways really feel like she is just playing me at moment

OP posts:
toomuchpeppapig · 14/08/2020 13:35

She's taking the mickey out of you. Leave now.

toomuchpeppapig · 14/08/2020 13:35

Also, if she loved you and wanted to be with you then she wouldn't have had a series of one night stands.

2pinkginsplease · 14/08/2020 13:37

If she wanted to make things work she would be doing everything in her power to fix it.... she isn’t!

It’s time for you to make decisions regarding the house and the kids.

frazzledasarock · 14/08/2020 13:38

What do you get out of this relationship?

Do you really want to stay married to someone who has had a series of affairs and has taken no action to work on your marriage or even discuss the matter?

I'd get legal advice and start the divorce process.

Walshp · 14/08/2020 13:38

I certainly feel like I’m being used by her. Think I’m gonna have to give ultimatum either we talk by end of week or I’m leaving

OP posts:
Walshp · 14/08/2020 13:44

Had legal advise when I first found out of affairs she would stay in house with kids for x amount of years then it gets sold In Mean time I need find several grand for deposit to rent house but we started getting on better being less secretive about were she going ect ect which is why we both started to say and agree on the chat but now it’s like on never never

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 14/08/2020 13:47

Your marriage is over, and the sooner you accept this the better. Move on and focus on your children.

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