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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what is your purpose in life/your reason for living?

87 replies

Query45 · 14/08/2020 10:07

I’ve had a lot of free time on my hands recently which has had me thinking a lot. And I can’t seem to find my own personal answer to this, and just wondered what the answer is for others?

OP posts:
Ardsallagh · 14/08/2020 10:43

Ideally, with some purpose and fun.

Well, yes, but I think the OP was asking what that purpose is...?

I agree with @Hardbackwriter. I'm fundamentally interested in my life, even though by objective standards we're in a position of great uncertainty and vulnerability at the moment. I think that's key, even though I have a DH I'm very happy with, a child I love beyond what I ever thought possible -- they, and my career, are not my 'purpose'.

AfterSchoolWorry · 14/08/2020 10:45

I don't think there is any reason or purpose for living.

It's driven by biological imperative.

Pacif1cDogwood · 14/08/2020 10:45

Well, yes, but I think the OP was asking what that purpose is...?

Ah, ok, yes, but surely that is different for everybody?

It seems to be that being altruistic/doing something for the greater good makes humans feel better, there's some interesting research on that. Even small acts of kindness, not just curing cancer or brokering world peace Smile

Oilyoilyoilgob · 14/08/2020 10:46

@MovinOnUp I completely agree! I love a drama free life and removing people that drain my energies has been the best boundary I’ve had for myself, along with saying no to things I don’t want to do!

For the purpose of life, the cells we’re made up of want us to all keep ticking along til they get tired and die 😏 while that’s happening I try and focus on my marriage, my pets, my friends and family and my house and garden. Normal things like reading and going on the internet 😳 basically the older I get the more unfussy I want my life to be!

Ishihtzuknot · 14/08/2020 10:47

My children, I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t have them
I’m as boring as can be unfortunately and no hobbies, distractions or interests to give meaning to life for me

Lelophants · 14/08/2020 10:47

To experience what life gives us.
What experiences would you like?
I wanted children.
Friends and family to love.
Exploring this planet! I'd like to cycle the coast of the UK, walk all the rivers, see as many countries as possible.

Lelophants · 14/08/2020 10:48

There is so much to see!

isabellerossignol · 14/08/2020 10:49

I don't feel any particular purpose to be honest. I'm not depressed, I'm reasonably happy with life (I have been extremely depressed in the past so I know what it feels like) but I don't feel that life has any particular purpose.

Pacif1cDogwood · 14/08/2020 10:49

Be useful

Colom · 14/08/2020 10:52

Why can't you do those things DDIJ if you don't mind me asking?

Huhokthen · 14/08/2020 10:53

@DDIJ

drug-fuelled orgies

Sounds great! Wink

I was thinking more of going for a walk, having an evening out, joining something. The sort of things you see recommended on here a lot to the unhappy.

Why isn't it appropriate for you to do those things? You're not asking for the moon. I can't think of any situation where you wouldn't be entitled to any of those things a couple of times a month!
Colom · 14/08/2020 10:54

I believe there is no purpose OP. Life just is.

I go through highs and lows but have found people are what makes life worth it for me. If you can surround yourself with people you enjoy spending time with it makes it worthwhile.

Ke1o9 · 14/08/2020 11:04

I have realised how boring and simple my life is in lockdown. My life has gone like this. ... Left school. Got a job in boots for 6 years. Then worked in Lloyds for 18 months before working in a care home for 14 months. Then I had my children. Since then I've been a sahm.

My purpose in life is my children. But apart from them I want to make my home exactly how I want it over the years. I want to decorate it and style it over the years so that it's a home to be proud of.

I do have an inner caring side. I wish I was a midwife or something. I love babies. Love the idea of birth and helping the new mums with the babies. I got alot of happiness out of my work in pharmacy and care. I'm very interested in hospital documentries. I think I missed out due to confidence when I was younger. But if my parents had been more interested and supportive and encouraged me id of been more confident. I should have trained to be a nurse or something. I would have been good at that but now I'm older I don't see me doing it. I'm anemic all the time since the birth of my second child. I have minimal energy and my neck and back has been terrible since. So I think the days of me doing anything that requires energy and long hours are over.

I am not sure if my reply even makes sense!

aquashiv · 14/08/2020 11:06

Is what you make it

WeAllHaveWings · 14/08/2020 11:08

My purpose in life seems to be to sort out everyone elses shit 🤦‍♀️

There are lots of things I do/enjoy, but they aren't really a reason for my life...

LilaButterfly · 14/08/2020 11:12

I dont think i have a specific purpose. But i dont need one tbh. I love life and enjoy it very much, so thats enough for me.

Ardsallagh · 14/08/2020 11:45

I wish I was a midwife or something. I love babies. Love the idea of birth and helping the new mums with the babies. I got alot of happiness out of my work in pharmacy and care. I'm very interested in hospital documentries. I think I missed out due to confidence when I was younger. But if my parents had been more interested and supportive and encouraged me id of been more confident. I should have trained to be a nurse or something. I would have been good at that but now I'm older I don't see me doing it. I'm anemic all the time since the birth of my second child. I have minimal energy and my neck and back has been terrible since. So I think the days of me doing anything that requires energy and long hours are over.

Sort out your anaemia and your back troubles, because it sounds as if your health is what is holding your back from training in something you love? (Sympathies on the anaemia -- I have had it, and feel so much better since I sorted it.)

latticechaos · 14/08/2020 11:49

Is interesting reading everyone's views, thanks for asking op.

I'll get back to you if I ever work my answer out...

wineandsunshine · 14/08/2020 11:58

My purpose is mixed - to enjoy life, raise my children and to teach (my career).

As I've got older, I do sometimes question if I'm fulfilled...I guess it's how you see/what you do with your life.

riotlady · 14/08/2020 12:06

I don’t have a particular purpose, although I find lots of things fulfilling- I just quite like living and intend to continue.

Atadaddicted · 14/08/2020 12:15
  1. My children
  2. My children
  3. My children

And I’m completely happy about that

Ellisandra · 14/08/2020 12:23

No purpose at all. I was born, and life is nice enough (very nice, fortunately) that I has no wish to end it. There are people and things that I love and like... but I have no purpose.

Prettybluepigeons · 14/08/2020 12:27

To love and be loved.
To extract as much joy as possible from things.

DDIJ you post a lot of things like this. Are you getting medical help for your mental health issues?

SurreyHillsGirl · 14/08/2020 12:34

I don't have a 'purpose' as such as I'm not a life saving surgeon or an amazing scientist working on a cure for AIDS (or Covid) but I really do love my life, and the people I choose to have in it (and dogs) and I love living. I feel fulfilled which I am v grateful for as I haven't always felt that way.

queenofknives · 14/08/2020 12:52

Smoke weed, get high everyday... Nah not really! I don't know. It's a good question. I think a sense of purpose is probably quite important for most people, but the purpose itself could be anything and could even change from day or day. Or you could have multiple purposes (purpoise?) I think the trouble comes when you feel life is pointless, you have no purpose, and you can't find the meaning. Then you know something really has to change to bring back the joy.