AIBU to say something to my mother

[frazzledmomof3]

I have 3 kids and my mother is very good to take 1 for me one day each week. I know I am very lucky and I do appreciate her doing it

I have one issue - we happened to have a day out this week. My mom, myself and my 3 kids.

She let the older 2 out of her car ( ages 2 and 4) and they ran out in front of reversing cars in a car park. They don't have road sense as we live in the country. Before I get blasted for not teaching them road sense. When they are with me I have them stand and hold the back tyre while I get everyone out and they do it.

I told my husband and he said to stop them going out with her as he is worried for their safety. She is due to take my 2 year old tomorrow and I'm very worried.

Has anyone advice on how to broach the safety subject tactfully and that won't end in an argument. I don't want her to feel like she's not able to mind them.

You need to mention it. There have been a few suggestions of how to word it. Some people are very lax when it comes to these things. I have seen many people walking across the car parks with their little kids trailing behind with no thought to the dangers at all. Tell her that the kids still have little awareness in car parks and that she needs to make them wait by the car until she is ready as this is what you do. If she is a good grandma, she will take it on board. Even if she says this is what she always does, you will have made the point and she will act on it.

Lulu OP has clearly said that she was parking her own car when she saw it.

She should certainly have brought it up immediately though.

Reins.. Or a back pack version..
Or they don't go..
My dm was also reckless with my dc..
Nc now.

I'd not be comfortable with her taking DC out I'm afraid. I'd spend the entire time worrying about my DC's safety.
I've had similar issues with my DM and I told her I'd prefer if she looks after them at home ( controlling I know). I use excuses such as "X has taken to running off- be easier for you if you stayed at home and less worry for me" or " B looked a bit perky this morning- please keep her home".
I know it's not sustainable really but I'd be using such excuses whilst you worked out what to do long-term?

Peeky

" I don't want her to feel like she's not able to mind them."

Well she's not if she lets them run off in a car park!

Is it likely to be different if she just has one though?

@BubblyBarbara nope you don’t say nothing!
You must love my MIL who thinks that as children used to ride on the back seat I’m cars 50 years ago and live it’s fine now. Not that things have moved on, more traffic and her nipping to the little local country shop once a week with the kids in the car is different to commuting to work/childcare every day on the motorway so of course car seats are needed.

OP, just speak to her and say you saw the kids run off, you are teaching them to do this...... or ask her to wait for you.

Speak up for yourself. You're an adult.

don't make silly excuses about illness talk to her in a quiet manner like two adults.

Why not just say that you're teaching them to hold the wheel and ask her to do the same for consistency? Then it's not a criticism, but you're letting her know your preference.