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Original poster

How to stop compulsive spending and wasting money on shit

28 replies

TwiggyCat92 · 13/08/2020 19:44

I'm a financial disaster (but trying to sort it out). My biggest problem is compulsive spending, I seem to waste all my money on stuff I don't need. Does anyone have tips on how to stop this and "retrain my mind". I really, really want to change. I've been wondering if maybe I do it to fill a void, loneliness, etc. :(

OP posts:
topcat2014 · 13/08/2020 19:50

Is this online shopping? There might be apps that could help, maybe

Augustseemsbetter · 13/08/2020 19:53

Have you thought of the pile of landfill you are amassing. This thought puts me off "stuff" of all sorts!

LunaLoveFood · 13/08/2020 19:54

If it's online shopping, delete all of your info from what ever device you use (e.g. card details etc).so that you actually have to enter all of your details each time (which is a hassle) and will give you time to talk yourself out of the purchase (ask yourself if you really need it).

Also if you like shopping on Amazon, make a wish list with all of the things you want, rather than actually buying it.

CatBatCat · 13/08/2020 19:54

Sign out of PayPal Google pay and amazon.
Remove shopping apps
Stop browsing just because
If you think you want something write it down, come back in a week - do you still want it?

LunaLoveFood · 13/08/2020 19:54

If it's online shopping, delete all of your info from what ever device you use (e.g. card details etc).so that you actually have to enter all of your details each time (which is a hassle) and will give you time to talk yourself out of the purchase (ask yourself if you really need it).

Also if you like shopping on Amazon, make a wish list with all of the things you want, rather than actually buying it.

IWantT0BreakFree · 13/08/2020 19:56

What kind of stuff are you buying (clothes, stuff for the house, eating out/coffees etc)? And how are you buying it (i.e. online, in stores, at the supermarket during the weekly shop etc). I think this info is crucial to establishing what the pattern is and how to break the habit.

Original poster
TwiggyCat92 · 13/08/2020 20:09

Thank you everyone, great advice already. I mostly waste money on clothes for my two young children, sometimes clothes for myself and toiletries. Also takeaways! Def going to delete my card details from my phone as I shop online a lot.

OP posts:
Ghost9525 · 13/08/2020 20:11

Following as I’m the same

Coastercat · 13/08/2020 20:17

Go for 30 days without any unnecessary spending. Pay the bills, put one tank of petrol in your car, and restrict yourself to one supermarket shop a week. Just do it for one month. No clothes shopping, cafes, restaurants, cinema, magazines, weekends away etc. that’s all cheating.

It forces you to seek out free stuff to do, make sandwiches, take a thermos or water bottle, make birthday presents (or regift). You see that you can go to a party in the same dress again, you really don’t need that coffee etc. It’s like a detox. Pace yourself back to nothing for a set period of time, and then see what you really missed and what you didn’t. Add back in the spend that really enhanced your life and ditch the rest. Repeat for at least one month a year. This has saved me loads!

LeSquigh · 13/08/2020 20:25

What works for me is withdrawing everything as cash. May be not the safest way of doing things but if I don’t take it out I can’t spend it. If I really want something I have to make a trip to the bank to deposit the cash so it’s a nuisance but it really shows how much I want something if I have to go to that effort.

StyleandBeautyfail · 13/08/2020 20:36

@TwiggyCat92

I'm a financial disaster (but trying to sort it out). My biggest problem is compulsive spending, I seem to waste all my money on stuff I don't need. Does anyone have tips on how to stop this and "retrain my mind". I really, really want to change. I've been wondering if maybe I do it to fill a void, loneliness, etc. :(
Op It seems you have identified the cause. Its very common to shop ( also eat, drink, gamble) to fill an emotional void. You feel better for a short while, then the buzz wears off and you feel guilt/unhappiness at what you have spent and it starts off a cycle. Practice doing nice things for yourself, bubble bath, read a book, get some plants to look after, go for a walk instead of spending. Set a budget and keep track of what you spend, it becomes addictive watching your debts go down and feeling more in control
Dablikeacrap · 13/08/2020 20:39

Get a Monzo card, download the app and set yourself a budget. I’ve honestly saved 1000s since I did this. I now transfer myself a ‘frivolous spends’ budget of £200 per month and categories a budget and each transaction to the budget. I haven’t worked out the figures properly yet but I honestly think I’ve saved around £4000 since January

Nothingwillcomeofnothing · 13/08/2020 20:49

Could you perhaps open up a bank account for your DC?
Whenever you are tempted to buy them stuff they don’t need you could put the money into the bank instead.
Either view it as a uni fund, or as a gift on their 21st, or use it for Christmas/ birthdays.
You could do a similar thing with the stuff you buy for yourself, put the money aside instead, to save up for a family holiday in years to come.

TeamWTF · 13/08/2020 20:51

Maybe watch some of the spendaholica programmes on YouTube - they look at the psychology behind the spending with practical tips. Worked (some!) for me Grin

User563420011 · 13/08/2020 20:57

It takes a little bit of willpower, but if you feel the need to buy stuff online, add it to the basket and return after 24/48 hours if you still want it.
In person, it's been made harder recently but I usually only pay cash- it seems to trigger a psychological thing by physically handing over money.

Gogogadgetarms · 13/08/2020 21:02

Also if you are spending money on clothes, why not sell them on using marketplace or similar.
Good quality bundles sell really well and it might give you a focus while you try not to spend.

DrManhattan · 13/08/2020 21:03

Interested in these tips. I defo shop for no reason and I need to stop. Its becoming a hobby lol

insideoutsider · 13/08/2020 21:09

I used to be like this but minimalism videos changed my life. I started watching videos about decluttering, minimalism, living with less stuff etc and I gradually started to buy less and less. I still have lots of clothes, toiletries, perfumes, make up etc that still have their tags on so I'm not a minimalist yet. However, I have stopped buying more stuff. I only buy books or stuff not in stores online now

Try it!

Mary46 · 13/08/2020 21:11

Terrible here!! Today met my friend. Bought top penneys and a coffee as met my friend. Dangerous living near shop centres!! Trying better food wise and use it up

gubbinsy · 13/08/2020 21:20

Try You Need a Budget. You can get a free trial of it and there's also a book to explain the method. It's basically zero budgeting - you look at the money you have and allocate it out to things you need and want based on your priorities. You only allocate what you have now so it forces you to prioritise and set goals for things in the future and what you need to put aside.

It's taken me a while to properly get into it - does involve inputting what you've spent to the right category but it really helps stop the impulse buys - I can see that if I spend £50 on a top when I have £20 in a clothes category I'm going g to have to take the £30 from somewhere else - helps see how much I want it and what I am prioritising.

You sort of feel permanently skint but then amazing stuff happens like your car fails its MOT and you realise you've got enough money put aside to cover it!

Snog · 13/08/2020 21:20

I always wait at least 24 hours before checking out the items in my online basket.

After 24 hours I mainly don't want the stuff anymore. Has saved me loads!

HolyForkinShirt · 13/08/2020 21:35

This helped me last year, and I still do it now.

Create a spreadsheet on excel.
List EVERYTHING you spend and great catergories. Eg. Kids treats, takeaways, your treats, food shop etc.

Then keep an eye on the drop down boxes.

To give you an example, I had no idea how much I was spending on takeaways. Shamefully, one one month I spent £170 on pizza/Chinese/etc.

It really changed my way of thinking seeing how much I was actually spending on random things.

I also had a 'cheap shop' catergory. I was disgusted when I added up how much I had spent in home bargains in tat !

Good luck and well done for making a change ❤️

DandelionTea123 · 13/08/2020 21:42

I realised recently that when I am stressed out I browse eBay as if it is my ‘safe place’ to go to - but actually it’s a drain on my account as I’m always treating myself to ‘just one small thing’ that I can’t really afford.
I deleted my eBay wish list today. This has helped so far. Good luck OP.

ravensoaponarope · 13/08/2020 21:45

Work out what feeling you're trying to avoid by doing this.
eg lonely
Ask yourself What does a lonely person need?
Make a list of things that cost nothing that would help soothe that feeling?
eg Cuddle
Kind self talk.
Phone a friend.
etc

Blimey, I should try this.

Loveluella · 13/08/2020 21:54

I use the Plum app. It rounds up your purchases and withdraws from your account. It really makes you realize how many transactions you make.

It builds up a nice little pot of savings and you can withdraw quickly as well