To take emergency day off work to see mum (car accident)?

[KatDubs261]

My mum was in a car accident yesterday. She did not need to go to the hospital and has not seen a doctor but she is in pain and has not eaten today. The car is destroyed. She lives alone.

Regardless she's going to try and work from home tomorrow. So there is not much I could do apart from prepare food or do anything needing done round the house.

I have one day left of holidays to take and she has assured me she is ok (but shaken up). Her friend is coming to stay with her on Sat and I was already planning to go over this Sunday.

We usually need to let our employers know weeks in advance for days off, so I dont keen know if I could get it.

YANBU - take the day off tomorrow
YABU - visit on Sunday

Emergency leave to care for a relative is not at all unreasonable.

*unless of course you have a super important job that cannot be covered by someone else

YANBU to take emergency leave.

Someone who works for my DH has taken a couple of days off for similar reasons. My DH didn't bat an eyelid.

your mother should see a doctor asap.
she may not feel it is necessary, but there may be hidden problems or something that develops later.
it is important to have the event documented on medical notes, for future insurance etc reasons.
but also she may be more shook up than she realises.
please urge her to go. you should be able to take a day's dependency leave, even if it is unpaid. you and her friend take her to walk-in clinic.

Even super important people need to sometimes provide care. I'd request emergency leave if I were you and your mum needs to take the day off and get some medical advice, can she get seen tonight? Being in pain is worrying.

No harm in asking. A reasonable employer will allow you.

I just suggested to her she should see a doctor tomorrow and will she please consider this. She said she will see how she feels in the morning and let me know.

I really think I'd need to let my boss know this evening.

A family emergency is just that and can’t be planned for. Be honest with your boss and make sure your mum is ok.

She says she is more of less ok but shaken and in pain (she thinks whiplash) but I just feel very upset about and like I need to see her asap.

I understand work is important but what is the priority

I cant tell if I'm over reacting because she is not in the hospital. I just feel like if it were me she wouldnt leave me alone.

She must see a doctor. If the pain doesn’t go, she will need physio.

Oh and I would go and see her and drag her to the Gp.

If you worked for me I would tell you to stop worrying about work and go straight to your mum. You will both be comforted by it, and you’ll be better placed to see how pushy you need to be about getting her to a doctor.

My boss would probably give me a day's compassionate leave for that, especially as she just had 4 days compassionate leave when her mum had a stroke.

I must look up the compassionate leave policy, I thought it was just for bereavement.

Putting on my employer hat, I'd tell you to take the day off, go and check up on your mum and give me a call in the evening so I can make plans for the future. I'd get faintly suspicious and annoyed if it happened for the umpteenth time... But it doesn't sound like you're a piss taker.

I would give special lave for that.
Your mum needs to seek medical advice though. Definitely.

You can't take a day off to look after mum if she herself is working.

I would go round tonight to get a sense if she needs to get to hospital/doctors but if she won't there isn't much else to do. If you can't manage tonight perhaps take dinner round tomorrow. I would see her ASAP but not miss work unless she needed me.

How far away is she as I think that is relevant ? As the pp said it seems a bit silly for you to possibly inconvenience your workplace when your mum is actually going to be working .

How far away is she? Can you not pop for a visit tonight?

If she is well enough to work it seems odd that you should have a day off but if you are not going to be able to concentrate then maybe it is for the best.

Well I have spoken to my boss and taken the day off. She says not to worry about formalities, we will discuss next week.

I will not feel better until I see her, regardless if whether she is 'ok' or not.

I could not have popped in for a visit as I need to travel there. Your replies helped with my decision.

It also isnt just about if she is working. She didnt sound good over the phone and there could be unseen injuries. She is going to phone the doctor thankfully!