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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To make teen wear a helmet

39 replies

ILoveFood87 · 13/08/2020 15:26

My 14 year old wants to go out with his 2 friends (both were in his keyworker bubble at school). These 2 kids dont wear helmets as its uncool apparently. I've told mine if he doesn't wear his helmet he is not going. He thinks im mean / i baby him / i want to embarrass him. Hes an only child and has hardly been out all lockdown so i do feel a bit mean. He's now gone and the helmet was on when he left so I hope it stays on. I'm not being unreasonable am i?

OP posts:
DoorstoManual · 13/08/2020 15:27

Good luck with that.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 13/08/2020 15:27

Yabu if he is not on a bike or skateboard. Is he just waking around?!

anon5000 · 13/08/2020 15:29

He might have left wearing it...

Original poster
ILoveFood87 · 13/08/2020 15:29

Grin on a bike ride, sorry I thought I put that! Haha

OP posts:
solidaritea · 13/08/2020 15:31

YANBU. Though he may well take it off. I was a quite compliant teen but would only wear my helmet when parents were watching. Maybe you need a bit of a longer chat with him about why helmets are necessary, at another time.

dwiz8 · 13/08/2020 15:32

Yanbu

I don't let mine out without helmets and DH has installed a pressure sensor on DDs helmet to ensure she keeps it on as we saw her once taking it off straight after meeting her friends down the road.

It's not unreasonable to not want your child to die or end up with brain damage

Infullbloom · 13/08/2020 15:33

I have this battle with my 12 Yr old. None of his friends wear them. He reluctantly wears it but whether he keeps it on is another matter. Two of my friends ended up with bad head injuries after cycling accidents so I've told him it's non negotiable.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 13/08/2020 15:36

I was forced to (my dad worked in a job which saw him driving round the local area most days So I couldn't remove it).

I just stopped cycling.

Contrary to the saying it is possible to forget. I've not ridden a bike since I was 14.

Original poster
ILoveFood87 · 13/08/2020 15:42

Thanks for the replies. He fell of his bike last year and broke his arm so I'm nervous about him riding anyway. Truth is, i never wore one as a kid! If anything happened to him though and he didn't have one on I'd feel so guilty.

OP posts:
Yeahnahmum · 13/08/2020 15:45

You cant force him
You can however pressure him to wear one by taking away wifi rights and stuff if spotted without a helmet 😉

milienhaus · 13/08/2020 15:45

You’re not being unreasonable, cycling without a helmet is serious idiocy.

nettytree · 13/08/2020 15:47

My husband would have died after being knocked off his bike last year if he wasn't wearing his helmet. Being dead is not cool.

Anarchyinateacup · 13/08/2020 15:49

I never wore one as a teen but now as an adult mountain biker and occasional bike commuter, I think its pretty uncool not to wear one! I've came off my bike from things as simple as a stone on the path and hit my head, thankfully no damage due to the helmet! YANBU to want him to wear one.

FinnyStory · 13/08/2020 15:51

There's actually quite a bit of research that suggests, in an urban setting, you're actually safer without one and quite a strong body of opinion that supports the theory that the benefits of regular cycling for health are far greater than the risk from not wearing a helmet.

Even so, maybe in a perfect world he'd wear the helmet, but there's no way that hat is still on now.

LemonBreeland · 13/08/2020 15:54

I'm really lucky that we live a in a big mountain biking area, and although only one of my DC does mountain biking none of them will ride without a helmet, as they see them on everyone around here.

It's such a shame that they are seen as uncool

LunaMuffinTop · 13/08/2020 15:57

YANBU at all but he is at that teenager stage where they want to look cool in front of their friends and to girls. I hate seeing people riding bikes without a helmet on I lost my granddad to a bike accident he was hit by a car and died.

ZigZagPlant · 13/08/2020 15:59

A teen was killed on the road very recently near me. He wasn’t wearing a helmet. Your chances of not dying are so much better with a helmet. I get so cross when I see people without one. If I saw my own DS without one I’d puncture his tyres Shock

HitsAndMrs · 13/08/2020 16:07

My DH works with people who have acquired brain injuries, mostly from car and bike accidents without wearing a helmet.
My DDs are the only kids that wear them but also the ones with the reduced risk of long term brain damage if something were to happen.
Stand your ground, you're doing the right thing.

CMOTDibbler · 13/08/2020 16:21

This is my sons helmet from last September when he was 13. See how the entire front of the helmet is squashed in by 2cm - it was cracked all through the helmet where it absorbed the impact.
He walked out of the hospital that evening having hit a car with his face (going round a corner at 20mph then the car decided to do an emergency stop), 150m from home. Made a mess, but his brain was OK after a really nasty concussion.
He never, ever, complains about wearing a helmet

To make teen wear a helmet
Bairnsmum05 · 13/08/2020 16:57

Now mine are into mountain biking it's expected that you wear a helmet, only problem is that all the cool gear is so expensive!

rosiejaune · 13/08/2020 17:12

YABU. There is not good evidence of effectiveness (most cyclists experiencing serious injury/death are crushed, not hit on the head, anyway). And you might put him off cycling if you insist, which is worse for his health.

www.cyclinguk.org/campaigning/views-and-briefings/cycle-helmets

rosiejaune · 13/08/2020 17:12

Also cars give helmetless riders a wider berth, so they are less likely to be injured in the first place.

dwiz8 · 13/08/2020 17:14

@rosiejaune

Also cars give helmetless riders a wider berth, so they are less likely to be injured in the first place.
Why bollocks
dwiz8 · 13/08/2020 17:14

*what

ChandosBucks · 13/08/2020 17:20

I wish I could post the photo of my friend's son who had a bad accident on his bike a few weeks ago. The hospital actually asked her to post it on facebook to get young males to wear a helmet - because without it he'd have been dead.

Said young male is in his early 20s, an experienced bike rider, and was out with his mates (5 of them - 2 of whom thought they were too 'cool' for helmets). It was a freak accident, no one did anything to cause it.
The horror of the accident and the head injuries (even with a helmet) made the 2 who had refused helmets thus far to go home and order one straight away. They will never, ever go out without a helmet again.

If I can get hold of the image of my friend's son's helmet after the accident I'll post it (but I don't have FB, and that's where it was posted). But it literally saved his life, and it was a sober lesson for some of the others with a thankfully happy ending. If you're going to ride a bike, of any kind, you're never too cool to wear a helmet. Unless you're keen on death or severe brain injuries, of course....