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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this is quite an antisocial way for neighbours to behave?

47 replies

vanitythynameisnotwoman · 12/08/2020 18:28

I moved just after moves were made "allowed" again at the end of May into a little terrace in a cul-de-sac in the city I work in. It's really friendly, I've met pretty much everyone that lives here and they seem like great neighbours. However there are a couple of guys living over the road who sit out the front of their house chatting until between 12 and 2am every night. It's a narrow road so they are less than 10m from my pillow, I'm wearing earplugs so they don't always wake me but if I do wake I can't get back to sleep. I'm early-to-bed and I don't expect them to be quiet from when I want to to go to bed but is this not a bit late and antisocial? One of them works as a taxi driver, the other I'm not sure - but I have a fairly stressful full time job and being awake for an hour or two nightly is starting to damage my concentration and wellbeing. They are sometimes joined by another (female) neighbour. Because the houses are small it's quite normal to sit out the front in the day or evening.

I'm not sure how I feel about asking them to be quiet as I'm a woman living alone and I think they are often under the influence (weed rather than alcohol) in the night.

OP posts:
Thecobwebsarewinning · 12/08/2020 20:18

Fan noise is very helpful with this. Especially at the moment in the south east!

SentientAndCognisant · 12/08/2020 20:19

Anonymously report them to police online for noise, asb & weed

YoTheGinPussyOnThigh · 12/08/2020 20:20

How good is your aim? Super soaker.

Why should the OP have to move bedrooms. There would be some other idiot in the back no doubt bellowing and being annoying.

SentientAndCognisant · 12/08/2020 20:22

I’m astonished at the advice is you move rooms,you wear earplugs
They’re being radge sitting out til 2am, they’re the problem not you

HotPatootiebootie · 12/08/2020 20:25

I use soft squishy mouldable silicone ear plugs that are wrapped in cotton gauze and they are Absolutely AMAZING!!

Blondiney · 12/08/2020 20:31

Tell them to STFU. Move bedrooms, my arse!

workaround · 12/08/2020 20:35

It is definitely very antisocial. They know it is.

You shouldn't have to suffer it. Perhaps people who have lived there longer know they are difficult to talk to so people are too scared. But you wont be the only on who is sick of it.

I think I would contact your local PCSO if you have one or police and see if someone can have a word with them. Ideally a patrol car would drop by on a quiet night but that is probably a pipedream. But if there is also weed involved then they might do it. Tell them you are (not unreasonably) too intimidated to ask them yourself, especially as you have a physical disability. Hopefully that will shut the selfish bastards up.

redcarbluecar · 12/08/2020 20:35

Appreciate that you don’t want to make yourself vulnerable, but just wondering how you think they’d react if you asked them to move their conversation away from your house.

GabsAlot · 12/08/2020 21:24

do people thin this is really acceptable till 2am?

SentientAndCognisant · 12/08/2020 22:05

Anonymously complain to police, the noise,the ASB,the weed
Call PCSO ask if they can do a few walk by
Petition your local councillor, and do tell them you’re disabled and it is adversely impacting on your health

YummyInMyTummy · 12/08/2020 22:10

They are being totally unreasonable and anti social!!

Byllis · 13/08/2020 00:00

Yes, it is antisocial. However, I think there is a really good chance white noise will work a treat here. I've been sleeping with fans on and/or white noise apps for years now, and they block out voices very effectively. They aren't good at blocking out things like doors slamming or very loud music (unless using app plus headphones) but you haven't mentioned this.

The White Noise app is free and I think it cost me a pound or so to upgrade to the version that allows me to use it whilst accessing other apps at the same time.

msbevvy · 13/08/2020 00:39

I don't know why people are saying it will stop in a few weeks when the weather changes. We get this sort of thing happening all year round.

rosiejaune · 13/08/2020 01:25

@vanitythynameisnotwoman

Mainly the not swapping the rooms round is because I have a wooden bed frame that had to be built in the room, and am physically disabled (irrelevant to the post so not included) - can just manage the stairs - so I wouldn't stand a chance! I'll look into those earplugs though - I just by foam ones from Boots - but that might be a perfect solution.
You could ask them for help to rebuild the bed in the back room because it is too noisy in the front room, and maybe they will take the hint and you won't need to move after all?
Ilovemypantry · 13/08/2020 01:53

@MikeUniformMike

I'd ask them to move. I've had people chatting in the street less than 2m away from my desk when wfh. Windows not open but noise quite noticeable. I asked them to move
Move? As in, move house?
dancinfeet · 13/08/2020 08:03

I don't see why you should have to move bedrooms. I'd ask them to please be quiet, if they ignored then repeat with a STFU.

wagtailred · 13/08/2020 08:08

I have an air filter for asthma and its white noise was a revalation.

MaggieFS · 13/08/2020 08:16

YANBU for thinking it's antisocial, but if it is only talking and hopefully won't continue once things cool down, I'd be tempted to try and find a workaround as pp have suggested for the short term. Small price to pay for getting on with new neighbours. It's weird no one else has asked them to be a bit more quiet though!

vanitythynameisnotwoman · 13/08/2020 09:02

Thank you so much for the suggestions - the heavens opened at around 11:30pm which meant they did go in and I slept solidly until 6 when one of my cats decided it was breakfast time.

I think I'll try and wait it out... I get on well with my NDN so I may sound them out to see if anyone has spoken to them before.

OP posts:
Wilsonscaresme · 13/08/2020 09:05

Ah so now we have a cat problem! Grin

I put mine in the kitchen last night with all her stuff (litter tray etc) just to get some sleep Hmm

I love her dearly but I was desperate. She wsleep on the sofa when I got up.

silentpool · 13/08/2020 09:07

I use a fan and a pink noise app on my phone. They could have a party outside my window and I won't hear it.

vanitythynameisnotwoman · 13/08/2020 09:23

What's pink noise, that's a new thing to me?!
@Wilsonscaresme the cat that likes to sleep on my head goes outside overnight Hmm. I wake naturally at that sort of time - that or my cats have me really well trained!! I'd not swap them for the world!

OP posts:
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