Mum guilt

[chunkyrun]

Went to the library for 30allocated mins today. We've not done anything else. Preschooler is playing with toys watching telly and I'm reading. Normally we go out on a walk, park ect what's everyone doing? I'll probably rope him into helping making dinner but that's about it. Can't say I'm a lover of arts & crafts. Just feel guilty with how much tv he watches. Back in nursery tomorrow though while I go to work

I really can't find why you would feel guilty. We are going thru strange times. Just accept that it is what it is and when things improve you'll be back to a normal routine.

What blue said. We're in the middle of a pandemic and a heatwave. Do what you can do.

What is there to feel guilty about?

It's ridiculously hot. Hardly anywhere is open and the places that are aren't enjoyable with all the restrictions.

We've spent the day indoors with the fans on and the kids have been entertaining themselves, mostly with the tv.

Apart from the awful heat we've had a great day.

We've done nothing v today,far too hot.Ds 6 been indoors all day as hates the heat x

My 2 year old is currently downstairs watching frozen for the millionth time whilst I try and fail to get the baby to nap. Don’t worry! We’re all the same

Also done nothing - too hot and I couldn’t sleep last night. DD has a friend over and they are playing in her room. Pool is up but they didn’t want to go in.

Glad I'm not the only one! He's been watching more tv then I care to admit recently.

I completely and totally refuse to subscribe to to patriarchal bullshit that is "mum guilt". I feel guilty about very little when it comes to my kids - usually only ever if I snap at them. We are only human and do what we can from day to day, unless you are actually abusing them there is never any reason to feel guilty. Certainly not having the power to magically make more fun things appear is no reason to feel bad.

Guilt is what we are told to feel in a society that undervalues women's feelings. Constant guilt is not innate. Ask yourself why "dad guilt" isn't a thing. I do wish less women would feel this way - and I always get a little cross with the world when I see a thread about an OP who feels guilty about something perfectly fine and reasonable that happened.

@GlummyMcGlummerson

I completely and totally refuse to subscribe to to patriarchal bullshit that is "mum guilt". I feel guilty about very little when it comes to my kids - usually only ever if I snap at them. We are only human and do what we can from day to day, unless you are actually abusing them there is never any reason to feel guilty. Certainly not having the power to magically make more fun things appear is no reason to feel bad.

Guilt is what we are told to feel in a society that undervalues women's feelings. Constant guilt is not innate. Ask yourself why "dad guilt" isn't a thing. I do wish less women would feel this way - and I always get a little cross with the world when I see a thread about an OP who feels guilty about something perfectly fine and reasonable that happened.

I wanted to write something like this but you have written it more eloquently than I could have done.

I refuse to feel guilty for doing or not doing what "society" tells me I should be doing as a mother. Why should I feel bad for trying my best?

Drop the guilt. No good will come of it and feeling that way will not make you a better parent; if anything it will make you feel worse and less able to enjoy your time with your children.

Don't like crafts? Me neither. I hate it and I very, very rarely set up crafting activities for my children when they were younger (in fact I remember throwing a load of paint and brushes etc away in a fit of anger because they'd made a huge mess and left it for me to clear up) but it has not stopped them doing their own crafty things now they're a bit older (they're currently making a car out of old boxes. It's going to be a Boxhall...). The last time I took them out was to the beach in Tuesday; before that it has been so long that I can't remember where or when it was! I'm probably a shit mother compared with the all-singing, all-dancing types I read about on here and on facebook but my dc are happy, healthy, loved and are able to entertain themselves.

@TwoZeroTwoZero precisely - aiming for the perfect and unachievable, and painting yourself as "shit" because you haven't achieved it only ever seems to apply in motherhood. It certainly doesn't apply in most workplaces, with fatherhood, fitness, driving etc.

I now go out of my way to actively avoid threads worth the titles "I'm the world's shortest mother" and the content is something like "She slipped and fell on the bottom step" 🙄

*shittest not shortest 🤣🤣

Cooking with young kids sucks whatever lies society will tell 😂

Cooking is always one of those things that you think will be nice to do and you realise that all they wanna do is chuck the ingredients around the kitchen and stick their fingers in food after they've picked their noses 🤣

@PablosHoney

Cooking with young kids sucks whatever lies society will tell 😂

Omg yes! I find cooking with my child really stressful. I thought it was just me because all over social media and mumsnet are suggestions to cook with kids or posts with lovely pictures showing what they've made

Definitely not you, people lie 😂😂 they can’t do it properly, they make a mess, break things, fight if there is more than one of them, not fun.

You have nothing at all to feel guilty about. Children like to have down time just like adults. If he's had a trip out and is happy playing and watching tv what is there to feel guilty about? I assume you're feeding him and giving him attention when he needs it.

Dd was born when ds was 3. Ds spent a LOT of time watching tv as dd was hard work. It did him no harm. He's now a fully developed adult with a job and his own home and he still loves TV - we got him a big one for his housewarming