Pregnant at 43

[JoleneJolone]

I have name changed for this because this is quite overwhelming and I don't want it to be related to an other posts. Obviously there is the age thing, but also the fact that I had chemo and at least two of the drugs they put me on are supposed to destroy fertility. That was five years ago. No barriers since as we assumed it wasn't happening and bam, here we are.

The only person who knows is my husband and we are both very happy but concerned about the implications of being so much older even than "the new average". AIBU to ask for any tips, a bit of handhold and a small amount of support.

My gran had my mum at 46 . Healthy pregnancy, healthy textbook home birth (home birth was normal in those days) despite mum being 10 lbs!

I also have several cousins who had children ages 40/41/43, all healthy. I'm pregnant at 41. Although the chances of miscarriage or health problems are elevated, the chance of a healthy pregnancy and birth is still much, much higher. Plus that we all tend to live healthier nowadays regarding our diets and exercise (well plenty of us). And our prenatal care is so much better than a few decades ago. Try not to worry too much about your age, it's less of a big deal than they make out.

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

Can I just add - I didn't mean to put the voting as i didn't think it was a voting issue. I would be very interested to know what people think is unreasonable about this thread, or would that be unreasonable in itself ;)

Dont think that having a kid will automatically mean that your ds and your future kid will get allong. The age gap will be massive. They could both grow up as only children as a 6/7yo has nothing in common with a baby who cant do anything and spends most of its days crying and pooping .

Your age is fine. You might be old in babycarrying terms but not in real life. So get all the test and checkups at the early early stages.

Also you should prepare for people assuming your the kids grandparents. Which they wont mean harshly, they would just not know any better.
You kid could also decide to live at home until their 30 (other thread 😂) and youd be 73/74...

But in the end. Whatever you decide. And whatever you feel is best: is best. And you should persue that. Whatever it is.

A colleague of mine also had her first and only child at 46. Not complicated, she’s fit and well and her son is very healthy.

I had my children a bit later than average (34 & 39) and I was often one of the younger ones at the hospital.

There will be risks but follow the guidance from the medical team.

And congratulations!!

Also mine have a 5 year gap and they are lovely together.

I had my first (a surprise when we had given up) at almost 42 and it’s been fine. I sometimes think I must find it harder as I’m shattered but then I talk to other mum’s in the 30s and realise they mainly feel worse than me!

Like PP the best thing is being more mature and relaxed about the whole thing along with added financial security.

At no point did the midwives or doctors comment about my age although they did take very careful care of me but more because it was a ‘miracle baby’ rather than my age!

Good luck

Go for it! You will be fine!

I had a child at 43. Sometimes I feel tired. Sometimes I look in the mirror and think how much better I used to look. But there is certainly the benefit of having a bit more calm maturity.

Congratulations, you’re not an old expectant mum at all !

I had twins at 38, singleton at 33. I've never been a young mom so I have no comparison bit I have two other friend having their first babies at nearly 39. I don't think 43 is as old as it used to be.
I live on a council estate with a generally much younger age for first horns so I'm dreading when the twins start nursery and I'm the same age as the Nannas lol but they are what they are, a blessing.

If you're worried about baby's health risks and wouldn't go ahead of baby had a disability, there are fairly fool proof blood tests you can do

Congratulations

The age gap might be fine! There are 6 years between my DH and the sibling he gets on with best. She's his little sister too and they're extremely close. Best friends close. There are 5 years between my 13yr old and 8yr old. They are thick as thieves, utterly inseparable and have been since the youngest was born. A bit of a gap isn't a problem.

Congratulations. May you have a healthy pregnancy.

Congratulations! I had mine at 42 xx