DDs conspiracy nut father

[Shinygreenelephant]

I posted a few weeks ago about my DD11s father suddenly becoming obsessed with the QAnon conspirancy theories, talking about God sending him messages to save the children, how Trump is saving us from the devil and Covid is a hoax etc etc. I've let him see DD once since, supervised constantly and very closely by his mum - she is completely onside and I know she wouldn't let him say or do anything weird. DD adores him so didn't want to keep them apart entirely- she has no idea whats going on - but I also believe hes having a severe mental breakdown.

He's now bombarding me with anti-vax stuff, telling me he won't consent to her having any vaccinations from now on, wants details of her school to send them letters saying they can't take her temperature or administer a covid test (not that they want to!). Hes saying he will put it on record she is not allowed a covid test in any circumstances (as they will use a fake positive result as an excuse to kidnap her and sell her to a paedophile ring). I'm worried sick, I'm going to try and contact social services tomorrow for advice and look for a good family law solicitor but I was hoping someone might know - can he do all this? He's on her BC so has parental responsibility, he sees her maybe twice a month on average now he lives nearby but has gone nearly a year at a time between visits on occasion. He hasn't been a proper part of her life since I kicked him out when she was 3 because he wouldn't stop smoking weed. Does any of that matter, or can he just roll in now and put her in danger by refusing medical treatment for her?

Well weed is known to cause paranoia so I think history and current behaviour would be good cause for you to have genuine concerns.

I think SS is a good start and they can always advise you from there about lawyer etc.

Glad his mums onside. That will be helpful.

Hi OP this link might be useful www.nhs.uk/conditions/consent-to-treatment/children/

Thank you, I feel a bit less panicky this morning. She isn't even due a vaccine for a couple of years and a covid one doesn't exist so I suppose its not an urgent problem. Hopefully social services will be helpful today.

I imagine SS will recommend you seek legal advice...

I have no advice but wanted to give you a metaphorical hand hold!
He sounds psychotic, and the everyone will realise that soon enough. You are doing the right thing in protecting your child and seeking advice. This too shall pass...

No advice here either but I do have sympathy with you

Is it worth going through court so he doesn’t have the opportunity to deny vaccinations?

Thank you @SnackBitch2020

He's never been like this, always been useless and pretty stupid but this is all so out of the blue, I definitely think its the weed finally got to him

I have no advice but I feel for you I really do. My mother has gone the same way with conspiracy theories and forcing her extreme views on me. she cut me out of her life 6 months ago.

I think by 13 you daughter will be able to consent herself. So that may be one less thing to worry about.

@Soubriquet thats what I'm wondering, will see about getting legal advice today. Rather start the process now than wait and let it be a big drama at the time, either when there is a covid vaccine or if that never happens when shes due for her HPV. She's already phobic of needles to the point where we were talking about counselling before the pandemic hit, so if she gets wind of all this going on then it will be a mess.

@ArthurMorgan thats so sad, I'm sorry. I'm hoping DDs dad can come back from this but there's not an awful lot I can do.

@gabriellamontez that makes me feel a lot better thank you!

I'm sorry you are going through this, bringing up a daughter on your own is bad enough without all this going on. I have a friend who is into similar conspiracy theories about Covid-19 and seems to have linked it with 5G and Trump - I really don't know what to say to her when she starts and I can only reach out and hug you (virtually of course)
Yes your daughter will be able to consent herself at 13 so that will make it easier and we can help you through the situation now. I hope Social Services are helpful, do let us know :)

In a couple of years she will be old enough to give her own consent.

Sorry I have no experience on the other stuff.

Has his mother attempted to seek a mental health assessment for him? Far easier for her to do this than you (in the position as his ex).

I had to do this once for a friend - we accessed community mental health services after I persuaded him to the GP together.

It does sound like he is experiencing psychosis / an acute mental health crisis.

Thank you so much @chargeorge

His mum thinks when he goes back to work he will be okay, and that all the time off on his own smoking has caused the problem. Hes moving back in with her next week and back to work the week after so she thinks that will 'fix' him. I'm less convinced.

DS had tetanus, polio, diphtheria, and meningitis vaccines at school in Y9 and they were told they could give consent themselves if their parents didn't.

I'm sure it's age 12 for medical decisions without parental input apart from surgery, you'll have to look it up