Was I a bit rude?!

[onlinedater]

I will keep this short...I met a man online and we have had 4 dates. I had a bit of a rough day at work today and he called me and I ended up telling him about it. He also had some work troubles and felt that he could share with me.
He then offered to come over to mine and "just chill out and give you a hug". I think he genuinely meant that and not let me come over for sex.
I did really want him to come but I also want to take things slowly as I really like him. So I said that I had some work related stuff to do tonight. He was understanding and didn't push it.
Do you think I may have come across as a bit aloof?
Also after how long is it appropriate to hang out at each other's places?

There isn't really a set time period, its whenever you feel comfortable with it.

It did sound a bit dismissive of him particularly if you've rebuffed him for work after complaining to him about work, so maybe you could message him to arrange another date so he knows you're still interested.

Yes I arranged to meet him on Friday night. Thank you 😊 I really wanted to say yes to him coming over but also didn't want to spoil things.

Thats good then! You're just overthinking it, which is understandable given its a relatively new thing with him.

See how it goes on Friday, 5 dates is a perfectly fine time to have someone round to your home.

Thank you

I find it really sad that people take relationships into sexual activity before they actually know someone. I think too many people move things on far too quickly and so think you were sensible.

It’s good that you didn’t jump at the chance to see him.

My husband, who I met online, came round on date 3 for a takeaway and that’s all it was. I was comfy with that but it doesn’t mean you have to be. Take it at your own pace :-)