AIBU to think US Pilot Sisters Ex Is CF for forcing contact after coming from COVID Hotspot.

[Rincewind1213]

Quick background. Sister has a child with an American guy. He has a long standing history of pretty morally indefensible behaviour towards her and her son. He’s a bully and likes the throw his weight around. He’s based in Florida (which is an extreme COVID hotspot at the moment.) As a pilot he doesn’t have to self isolate for any period of time when travelling. Anyway he insisted that he got his weeks contact last week with his son. My Sister expressed her concerns but he told her it was his right (it is.) Straight from Florida, no test, no isolation. Now I know that co parents can freely move children in the U.K. but something doesn’t sit right here, he’s coming from a hotspot area. Or AIBU?

Oh and I should just add that he chose to take him to Bournemouth Beach whilst he was here.

Well I agree with you that pilots shouldn't be exempt from quarantine but he had come a long way to see his child so can understand why he prioritised that over your sister's concerns. Morally it would have been better to try and limit time out of the house but can understand why he didn't

@omg35 he did come along way but he was flying for work. A private plane. Not sure if that makes any difference. He has also missed tons of other contacts. Around 150 missed opportunities in 5 years. He also misses phone calls so it’s not like he has a history of consistently making an effort. 🤔

This is where the law, particularly hastily constructed law, and good sense and morals diverge.

Obviously as a pilot they have to be exempt. And split families have to be exempt. But the combination takes a decent human to navigate. Clearly he's not one.

@MrsTerryPratchett 😂 so true. He’s not doing anything legally wrong but urrghhh.

Maybe it would've been better if he'd volunteered a test when he landed, but he's doing nothing wrong is he? If there's nobody who's vulnerable in the family I think it's ok. It's important to keep the contact going if it's already sporadic.

@Jiggeriepokerie yeah I think you’ve hit the nail in the head there. I just wish he’d done something to mitigate everyone’s concerns. If he was a random guy travelling from Florida he’d have to self quarantine because he would be a risk but visiting the beach 24 hours after landing makes me feel a bit icky.

There's a very long way from 'nothing wrong' to 'nothing illegal'. A very long way.

Military pilots have to be exempt. Your sister's ex did absolitely wrong. It's been apparent on both sides of the pond that the governments has said that child custody orders should be abided by during the pandemic. Your sister doesn't get to make the rules. In the States she would be at serious risk of loosing parenting time with their father even during a pandemic. The laws are very different here. Thank God

@LeaannbSorry I should say he lives in Florida not the U.K. he isn’t military.

Child contact was always an exception though, even when we had lockdown here.

@Drumple yeah I know that child contact isn’t exempt during lockdown. I just suppose I’d have liked him to show some willing to take a test or something. Florida is in a different state of lockdown to us, it’s pretty serious there and I feel uncomfortable him hopping off the plane and enjoying our beaches as well as potentially exposing my sisters family.

[quote Rincewind1213]@LeaannbSorry I should say he lives in Florida not the U.K. he isn’t military.[/quote]
I was about to say knowing what I do if he was military he came from several hotspots. That's one of the reason's why I disappeared for the past couple of days. I had a surprise visit from my son who is stationed in the UK. Those guys have been to several hotspots since being sent stateside. Don't worry since my son decided to combine leave with his TDY he will be isolating before returning to UK. I 'm actually planning on joining him and will also isolate. Meant to add a lot of ex military spouses are loosing custody time for refusing visitation

[quote Rincewind1213]@Drumple yeah I know that child contact isn’t exempt during lockdown. I just suppose I’d have liked him to show some willing to take a test or something. Florida is in a different state of lockdown to us, it’s pretty serious there and I feel uncomfortable him hopping off the plane and enjoying our beaches as well as potentially exposing my sisters family.[/quote]
He probably doesn't have the time to quarantine for 2 weeks and just wanted to see his child Remember, our planes kept flying some full and some empty. They haven't stopped

@Leaannb well he’s just flying one rich guy around the world. His boss (the rich guy) has to quarantine.

[quote Rincewind1213]@Drumple yeah I know that child contact isn’t exempt during lockdown. I just suppose I’d have liked him to show some willing to take a test or something. Florida is in a different state of lockdown to us, it’s pretty serious there and I feel uncomfortable him hopping off the plane and enjoying our beaches as well as potentially exposing my sisters family.[/quote]
Florida has very loose lock down restrictions. Even my state bars and gyms are still closed while Florida is basically open with social distancing and I think mask guidance which I can assure you is very loosely enforced in both states